Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...
A. 10 March 2019: What do you want for YOURSELF? How would you like your career to pan out? Do you have a plan? If not, now is the time to think about one. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for (including working stupid hours) IF the end goal is worth it.
... (read in full...)
I didn't marry my husband for love. Can I learn to love him?
Q. I have been with my husband for over 5 years now. I think I made a mistake in marrying him. He’s handsome, successful, nice, funny, and an all around good person. When we first met I never felt a connection or spark but kept talking with him because ...
A. 9 March 2019: Don't stay with him just because the thought of hurting him by leaving him upsets you. In doing that you are hurting not only him but yourself as well.
You are young. I assume he is too. You have the rest of your lives ahead of you. You both des... (read in full...)
I want to teach my cheating ex a lesson
Q. Hi! I'm 29 and got married last year. I'm happy with my husband, but my ex bf still calls me despite he being married. He says that he can't forget me, and still wants me. I cleared the air that I'm happy with my husband and won't ever leave him for ...
A. 9 March 2019: Well done for involving your husband in this. Changing your number sounds like the best option in this situation. If you keep getting calls from your ex (if he manages to get your number some way), don't answer calls from unknown numbers or, if you ... (read in full...)
He changed his looks and I am no longer attracted at all to him. Do I end things?
Q. Hi I’ve been dating a guy for 6 months- it’s had it’s ups and downs- mainly as it started as a friendship with absolutely no sexual attraction on my behalf . I’ve never looked at him and thought ‘god your handsome’ but he has a lovely personali...
A. 9 March 2019: Honestly? You should let this "lovely" guy go so he can find someone who loves him as he is - regardless of whether he has brown, yellow, pink, red or any other coloured hair.
Neither of you is right or wrong in this. You are both just differen... (read in full...)
She blocked me on facebook because I looked her up
Q. Been seeing this woman for four months, have a lot of fun going out dancing movies places to eat, the sex is great, but she only has time to see me once a week,I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad,she said that's personal, so ...
A. 8 March 2019: Facebook (a PUBLIC forum) is personal? Really? If there was anything truly personal, she should either not have posted it on a public forum or limited access to friends.
View this situation as a whole. Not only was she really mad at you for chec... (read in full...)
Do I have a valid reason to leave him?
Q. Hi. I am currently confused at the moment. Can somebody tell me what to do? So i met this guy on a dating site a month ago. Everything went well, we do video call for hours, we made plans for the future, he tells me i love you and misses me. But as ...
A. 7 March 2019: Are you really in your 30s? I am amazed that you think you can be in love with someone you haven't even met and have only known for a month, especially given that he threatened to slap you.
What is it going to take for you to realize this guy... (read in full...)
I feel confused and anxious about him not speaking to me except by text Saturday evening!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great guy.This is an intensely passionate but in my opinion emotionally healthy relationship.We have hurdles but we have overcome them.Apart from one massive issue which is my fears of abandonment ...
A. 6 March 2019: If you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn't cut you. Get help to learn how to cope with your issues before your fear of abandonment becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Don't make HIM suffer for something others have done to ... (read in full...)
I want to teach my cheating ex a lesson
Q. Hi! I'm 29 and got married last year. I'm happy with my husband, but my ex bf still calls me despite he being married. He says that he can't forget me, and still wants me. I cleared the air that I'm happy with my husband and won't ever leave him for ...
A. 5 March 2019: Such a shame that you are not over the ex yet, especially given that you have a lovely husband now. The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Until you get to a point where you can just casually shrug off any contact from your ex and not ... (read in full...)
3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...
A. 3 March 2019: People have affairs BECAUSE THEY CAN. The first time you caught her out, you should have told her this was her last chance - and meant it. You have repeatedly allowed her to get away with having affairs so why should she not think it is fine to ... (read in full...)
I feel broken. Why couldn't my girlfriend have been there for me when I needed someone to listen.
Q. I dont even know what to do anymore or how to feel. I feel so alone. I have many people around me, my parents, my gf, my best friend, my close friends, my colleagues. But no one actually knows the reality. I lost my new job I got due to not b...
A. 3 March 2019: Is turning things around to be all about HER normal behaviour for your girlfriend?
It amazes me these days how many people are actually incapable of having a conversation without turning it around to be about them. I think the human race is rapid... (read in full...)
I asked my mother not to say negative things about my father and now she isn't speaking to me
Q. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother and younger brother. The break-up between my parents was extremely sour. My father was never really the "#1 dad" type of figure because he had his issues with a drug addiction. My brother and I never ...
A. 2 March 2019: Your mother obviously still feels hurt and anger towards your father but she should respect that he is still your father, regardless of his failings.
Because he let you down in the past and she, effectively, raised you as a single parent, ... (read in full...)
He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...
A. 2 March 2019: Do you know what I wonder? Whether it is pure coincidence that we get ONE post about polyamorous relationships on this site, where most aunts and uncles were basically not in favour of the idea and suggested the poster go onto sites specifically for ... (read in full...)
Is all fair in love and war?
Q. I had an affair 7 years ago. He broke it off after 2.5 years. We boyh stayed married to our spouses. I really loved him and was heart broken. 2 months ago he reached out to me. He claims he still loves me, is in love with me and on and on. I ...
A. 2 March 2019: Confused about why you are asking the question. Do you mean you want to go back and have another affair or are you trying to justify "playing" with your ex lover? Neither of those is "fair" or anything to do with love. Phrases like "all is fair in ... (read in full...)
Is she shy or just not into me?
Q. Hi There is a girl I really like, I see her every day. I know I should just ask her out but i am very shy and as much as people tell me to do it i find it hard, but i think I will have the confidence if i see some signs that she is interested. ...
A. 1 March 2019: Instead of building up to something "big", why not just ask her to see a film or for a coffee or something else she would like to do? Visit an art gallery perhaps, if you both like art? Not an official "date" as such, but just spending time ... (read in full...)
I'm 64 but still frightened of my dying mother.
Q. My elderly narcissistic mother is dying in hospital and after a violent abusive childhood, I hate having to see her. She's an embittered, difficult, hard to please woman and I feel very nervous in her company. I'm 64 now, yet still frightened of ...
A. 27 February 2019: You do know you can walk away, don't you? She only has as much control over you as you allow her. My mother was similar with me and my brother, always trying to cause bad feeling between us when we were too young to understand what she was doing. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and work part time. My husband wants me to get another job to pay his parents debts.
Q. My husband's parents owe a large amount of money to a family member which they can't pay. They have asked my husband to pay the money on their behalf, we are talking £500 per month for the next 10ish years. My husband works 9 to 5 and I work part ...
A. 27 February 2019: Sweetheart, YOU already work full time and more. Consider how your day is filled. Looking after children is harder work than most jobs.
If he cares that much about his parents, then HE should find a way to pay their debt. Why can't THEY pay it? ... (read in full...)
Could these have been semen stains ... is he cheating on me?
Q. Hi guys. I just need some advise. I’m driving myself mad and keep toying between am I just being super paranoid or is my gut instinct trying to tell me something... basically I want to know show I be weary of my partner! We have been together ab...
A. 27 February 2019: Wow! What a cad! He had a one night stand with a work colleague and remained on friendly terms afterwards. How dare he! I am joking of course. Hopefully you will see my point.
Yes, bring up the semen stains (which may not even be semen stains a... (read in full...)
How can I help this relationship survive?
Q. I am 40 F,3 years ago I met a 21F College student that was on a internship.(Asia)- I Never dated woman before. At the time I was in a leadership role within the college. She made passes and I resisted, because I was nervous, scared and becau...
A. 24 February 2019: But you and she are not really yin and yang, are you? Yin and yang ultimately connect and form a whole. You two, on the other hand, are constantly opposing each other. When SHE is pushing, you are running away, and vice versa.
I suspect she had ... (read in full...)
My ex still has our couples pictures on his facebook. I want them deleted.
Q. why is my ex keeping my pictures (our pictures together) on his facebook account and says in relationship with me? He broke up with me 6 months ago. I do not want him to keep my pictures on his profile, I blocked him but can still see his ac...
A. 24 February 2019: Could be because he doesn't live his life on Facebook and just hasn't bothered changing anything. Maybe he thinks that short of stuff is really not important in the grander scheme of things. Maybe he is doing it to give you false hope or to annoy ... (read in full...)
Somebody keeps hacking my boyfriend or is he cheating?
Q. I keep finding my boyfriend on multiple dating/cheating sites and find his search history is filled with things like: Women near me to have with tonight? I have asked him about it and he says he didn't do it. Tat someone is hacking him. Is that ...
A. 24 February 2019: I have only one thing to say: YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Hold your head high and walk away. Then go and see your doctor for a sexual health check to make sure your "boyfriend" hasn't given you any unpleasant "surprises".
In future, if your gut inst... (read in full...)
I’m shy and don’t like to upset anyone, so how do I let the one friend with a crush on me down, whilst keeping our friendship?
Q. Hi everyone I've found myself in a tough situation recently and feel I need some advice. Firstly I think its important to understand a few things about me. I'm quite shy, I find it hard to express my interest in someone directly and I also reall...
A. 22 February 2019: The year will pass before you know it IF you make for a pleasant environment. If, however, you cause upset and friction by getting involved with one of the girls, the year will seem like 10 and you may even have to find alternative accommodation. ... (read in full...)
Is the company punishing me because I have autism?
Q. I have learning difficulties and work in the warehouse. I’ve been with the company for five years. since I’ve been at the company I’ve had no issues with anyone who works there. I was told by my assistant boss that he received reports from co ...
A. 22 February 2019: Contact Citizens Advice Bureau and tell them what has happened. They will give you free advice on what to do.
Do you have a line manager? Request a meeting with them to discuss this situation. Ask for their help.
Your company should have a di... (read in full...)
My boyfriend often makes me feel inferior and I am not sure if I see a future with him. Please help?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years and I had a huge argument recently. I mentioned applying for a 6-month advisory governmental job in another town. He got very angry and said he doesn't want to do long distance again (we had done it for a year internationally ...
A. 20 February 2019: Sweetheart, please please PLEASE listen to your gut instinct. You have one for a good reason. Ignore it at your peril.
Just because he supported you financially for a couple of years does not mean you need to live the rest of your life feeling ... (read in full...)
Am I fighting a losing battle? She is still speaking to her abusive husband!
Q. So... there's a woman I've been talking to for a little over a month. And when we're together, things are good for the most part. The problem is... this woman is married to a man that she has been involved with for a few years. He has threatened h...
A. 20 February 2019: SHE IS MARRIED. I repeat, so that it will sink in: SHE IS MARRIED.
You need to back away from this car crash of a relationship and give her space to decide who she wants. If she wants to be with YOU, then she needs to get divorced. Until such tim... (read in full...)
He played games with me and I need your help to understand why!?
Q. I am a mature person (not perfect and have many flaws, I am only human), I met this guy who was 10 years older than me 4 years ago, I told him I did not want not want to go out with him as my previous relationships have broken down and they have ...
A. 20 February 2019: Who knows? And frankly, sweetheart, why do you even care? The guy is a player. You already know that. So he's telling you he finished with you? The garbage took ITSELF out. Result! Rejoice! My guess is he has found himself another woman to control ... (read in full...)
He tells me I insulted him by asking if he was gay! Help?
Q. Hello. Recently the man I live with have been acting strange.We had a lot of arguments and he crossed boundaries and spent a lot of money from my savings account.We kinda broke up but we still live together because he said we should make it ...
A. 18 February 2019: Oh sweetheart, I can feel how hurt, upset and confused you are, but you already know what you NEED to do. You have lost all trust in this man (no surprisingly). Whether he is gay or not is irrelevant in my opinion. What is relevant is that he is ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my anger?
Q. Hello I am preparing myself emotionally and physically for life in my mid 30”s. My twenties were a series of parties - insecurities and putty fears with occasional breakdowns Throughout my self reflection I have noticed that I get angry very qu...
A. 18 February 2019: Repeat to yourself: those who anger me control me. Every time someone says or does something which makes you feel angry (rather than annoyed/irritated - there is a difference), repeat to yourself: those who anger me control me. Then SMILE. You will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend’s ex-partner is a nightmare! I feel like we are constantly looking over our shoulders!
Q. My boyfriend's ex partner is a nightmare - and I feel like we're constantly looking over our shoulders. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. Things are great between the two of us and we are very happy. The problem we have ...
A. 17 February 2019: What does your boyfriend say about his ex's behaviour? As she is HIS ex, he is the one who should be sorting this out (in my opinion).
If she is posting untrue things about you on social media, keep screenshots of everything as evidence and perh... (read in full...)
Both of us are married and planned a future together, but then she chose him! How can I heal?
Q. A co-worker of mine and I started talking/flirting. Both married but unhappy for our different reasons. We wanted to help each other with the attention we werent getting at home and made promises to not fall in love. Well we did.. we kept a ...
A. 17 February 2019: In your shoes I would treat this as a wake-up call that you are unhappy in your marriage and need to do something about it. Either fix it or end it, otherwise you will keep looking for happiness elsewhere.
As to your ex lover, she has made her... (read in full...)
He doesn’t want to see me but won’t let me go!
Q. I’ve been texting this guy off and on for the past 5-6 months. We’ve met and hooked up a few times. He will text me every morning, “Good morning beautiful, sexy etc” and we have conversations through out the day up into the evenings. But we go ...
A. 17 February 2019: Do you know what I don't get? How you say you are smart enough to know that, if he really wanted to see you, he would, yet you cannot see that he only has the hold over you that YOU allow.
He won't let you go? Has he handcuffed you or caged yo... (read in full...)
My ex and his girlfriend have teamed up and are cyberbullying me on Facebook and Instagram
Q. My ex and his gf are bullying me online and I don't know why. I do not talk to my ex at all and I have moved on. I got a message on IG of her telling me to stay away from him which is weird because I don't have any contact with him and I am living ...
A. 16 February 2019: Oh sweetheart, did you not realize that, when he finished with you and told you to go, you were supposed to beg him to not finish things with you? You hurt his ego SOOOO much when you just accepted the situation and walked away with dignity. How ... (read in full...)
How do I show this man that I'm worth having a relationship with?
Q. How does a woman show a man shes worth having a relationship with, ive been on quite a few dates with a guy but he said he wants to sort himself out a job , own place then maybe a relationship with someone. The words he used were someone he didnt ...
A. 16 February 2019: It takes two to get into a relationship. When this guy tells you he doesn't want a relationship with you (which is what he is saying in a roundabout woffly way), listen to him and believe him. He has a say in this as well, regardless of his reasons. ... (read in full...)
I waited 2 years for him and now he has a girlfriend and is snubbing and ignoring me!
Q. hi cupid i saw a guy i felled in love with him i revealed to him that i loved him he asked me to give him time to feel the same way for me that we can still be friends i patiently waited for him for two years but only to find out now that he has a ...
A. 15 February 2019: Sweetheart, you did not "love" him. Love grows from knowing someone and from sharing life with them, not from finding them attractive physically.
In future, take things slower and don't profess "love" for someone you don't really know. You are ... (read in full...)
My ex was hiding something, am I right?
Q. My ex broke with me and block me from fb, after 10 days he told me he missed me, but cant be with me, but he also did not wanted to tell me where he was living etc . He kept texting trying to be friends, which I tried. He told me when we met that ...
A. 15 February 2019: You are allowing this lying idiot to live rent-free inside your brain. Evict him IMMEDIATELY and stop wasting time and energy on him. He is NOT WORTH IT!
Of course he was still married. Chalk this one up to experience and move on. There are many... (read in full...)
Were my comments racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I had an interesting and slightly upsetting conversation with a friend tonight. We got on to many inane topics that a few drinks brought to the surface and he asked me about my ‘type’. I explained that I am not someone to gener...
A. 15 February 2019: So your friend finds ALL skin colours equally attractive? I doubt that very much. He is just being an ar$e (in my humble opinion, lol).
We ALL have preferences on EVERYTHING when it comes to feeling attractions towards others: skin colour, ... (read in full...)
My ex unblocked me but didn’t contact me?!
Q. My ex and i broke up 4 monthes ago , he broke up with me , i kept begging and pleading until he blocked me on everything, after that i decided to go no contact after 1 month of no contact I realized that he has unblocked me on facebook ( we have ...
A. 13 February 2019: What should you do? Exactly what you have done so far: absolutely nothing.
Firstly, you don't know if his mum is telling you the truth. She could be "icing the cake" a little to try to get you two back together if she likes you.
Secondly, he ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a relationship to push away the feelings for my best friend?
Q. I'm majorly confused here and need some kindly advice. I've fancied my best friend for over a year now, we share a house at uni together and often hang out and have a lot of fun. However, she does a have a boyfriend who she goes home to see every ...
A. 13 February 2019: You write like there are two choices here: your best friend or the girl you have started dating. There is actually a third choice: NEITHER of these girls.
Your best friend is in a relationship and should not be flirting with you. My guess is that ... (read in full...)
I wish I could end all contact with my toxic mother!
Q. I feel so much hatred towards my ‘mother’ but I can’t cut her off because she threatens to kill herself. To put things into perspective, I am in my mid thirties now with a teenage boy who luckily doesn’t know the half of it. He just knows I don’t ...
A. 13 February 2019: Firstly, well done for managing to turn your life around to the extend you did after such a bad start. Your main priorities now have to be the well-being of your son and yourself as his mother.
You are an adult now. You are only trapped in this ... (read in full...)
He decided to stop seeing me and I don’t know what to believe!
Q. I have been dating a guy for three months. Tonight he split up with me. He's 37, I'm 35. He is separated but married and wife is in a different town and they are getting divorced. I'm recently out a relationship too so I saw this as a bit of fun ...
A. 13 February 2019: I do believe relationships are as much dependent on timing as chemistry, things in common, etc, etc. He is not in a good place to have a relationship at the moment and he has been honest with you. You need to listen.
If, by chance, he HAS met ... (read in full...)
I just found out my girlfriend doesn't like her breasts touched during sex
Q. i been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 5-6 years and i love her very much and i just founded out that she doesn't like it when i touch or caressed or fondle her breast when we were being intimate or playful she say it makes her feel ...
A. 11 February 2019: Sad that it has taken this long for her to mention this. Surely the time to mention it would have been when your started sharing a sex life. I do, however, understand that people can find it awkward to voice their preferences in bed, especially ... (read in full...)
My ex changed my Netflix avatar on his account
Q. Hi all, My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago and i have not heard from him (we had a fall out) He has a Netflix account and he has himself, my daughter and me on it with our names which have always been under a square blank...
A. 11 February 2019: You say "Because I am leaving him be at the moment, it's not lack of love on either side why we have split up, we struggled to communicate with each other.
"He hasn't changed the pictures in malice, they are cute and funny. I'm hurting enough a... (read in full...)
My ex changed my Netflix avatar on his account
Q. Hi all, My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago and i have not heard from him (we had a fall out) He has a Netflix account and he has himself, my daughter and me on it with our names which have always been under a square blank...
A. 10 February 2019: Yes, a sign that he knows which buttons to press to get a reaction out of you.
If you have split up, you really need to get your own account and cut ties to him. How else are you going to move on?... (read in full...)
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