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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 9 January 2009: You're so not stupid at all!!! Please, please, please come back with any questions that you have. Even if you were 38 and having a kid, you'd still have a lot of questions. Pregnancy and child raising is a mystery to us all until we get there and ... (read in full...)
I don't want to say "I love you" yet, but he gets mad when I don't.
Q. I have a situation this boy that I talk to on the phone, he says that he loves me but i don't say it back to him n he gets mad when I don't say it. I don't think that we know eachother that long to say that to eachother. He says he don't mean it, he ...
A. 6 January 2009: Don't say it if you don't mean it. I can't believe that he wants to hear it even though he knows it's not sincere. Besides, who is he to boss you around? Just some friend? You're not even his girlfriend! Tell him if he wants to hear those three ... (read in full...)
With exes, we could talk forever... with my new BF we can't find much to say.
Q. With all my exes we could chat for hours on the phone - about nothing really. With my latest boyfriend (1 year) our conversations are only ever short. Are we just too different and not suited. I know Im more carefree and he's more sensible...
A. 6 January 2009: TasteofIndia theories:
He may be shy on the phone. That doesn't mean that he's not great in person or that you can't have tons of fun with him. Maybe he's just not a phone guy - I know my fella is absolutely TERRIBLE on the phone, but in person? ... (read in full...)
Did he mean he's just another frog or my Prince Charming?
Q. Have recently got back in touch with my ex boyfriend form high school and we've been talking loads on the phone and catching up. We havent seen eachother for 4 years. I was telling him that I'd been in a few bad relationships and used the term, ...
A. 6 January 2009: I think it's completely obvious what he meant by that. That saucy little remark suggests that he wants to kiss you again. Remember that most exes are exes for a reason!!... (read in full...)
Why am I so nervous about going to see my girlfriend again after a month and a half?
Q. I need some help. I am going to go see my girlfriend tonight, the first time in a month and a half since she went back home for the holidays. I am so nervous. I have no clue why I am so nervous. She is an amazing person and I can't imagine my life ...
A. 6 January 2009: Sounds like love to me, or at least like you really, really, really, really, really, really like her a whole lot!
Take a few deep breaths and remember that she's as nervous and as crazy about you as you are. I think your nerves are less "nervous... (read in full...)
My girlfriend always seems too busy to talk with me these days...
Q. Me and my girlfriend are together for over 6 months now. I am 17 years old and she is 15 years old. She acts very diffrent towards me these days, and I'm very insecure about it. I can't stop thinking that she is cheating on me or something like ...
A. 6 January 2009: If she's avoiding you like this, you may have a problem on your hands. I would give her the space she needs - chasing her will only give her the thrill she wants or make you come off as too clingy - maybe she just needs some alone time.
Howev... (read in full...)
I'm looking for advice on my boyfriend's attitude towards me.
Q. I'm looking for advice on my boyfriend's attitude towards me. About a month before Xmas just gone my Grandma fell very ill and sadly died, the funeral was 2 days before Xmas. I became very run down and fell ill with a cold virus over Xmas and New ...
A. 6 January 2009: I think that your boyfriend is a little bit of a blockhead (and I only use that word on special occasions). I can understand that he's bummed out that he didn't get to see you and that maybe he was inconvenienced a bit. But you! A death in the ... (read in full...)
We don't get along the way we used to, I need your advice here!
Q. My boyfriend has just hit a milestone birthday in his life, I am nearly two years younger and I think this is affecting us and the way we get along. He has started going out with his friends drinking and I'm left behind. I don't know what to do any ...
A. 6 January 2009: Oooh, that's tough. I know how you feel... I started dating my fella when I was 19 and he was 23. It totally sucked staying home when he went out with the boys. New Years Eve? He can either go to a bunch of super fun clubs with a bunch of drunk, ... (read in full...)
What do I wear???
Q. Help, it's my 18th birthday very soon, and I don't have a clue what to wear, I'm going for a meal with my family and then going to pubs and clubs afterwards, I want to dress up but really don't know what to wear, I don't want to over do it but then ...
A. 6 January 2009: Little. Black. Dress.
One of those "can't go wrong" outfits. It's always classy, always sexy. You can wear it to dinner (accessorize with a shrug or something) and then you can rock it to the club (ditch the shawl and put on a wild necklace... (read in full...)
Pregnant, Unhappy in relationship--try to make things work or leave?
Q. I am in a relationship of two years and have a one year old son. I am now pregnant with my second and feel unhappy in my relationship. I don't know of it's just hormones but I feel like all we do is argue over the silliest things. I have been wo...
A. 6 January 2009: Is child number 1 from this guy and is the current one as well? I wouldn't end your relationship quite yet, as it very well MAY be the hormones that are making your fella extra obnoxious. If you have the chance of keeping a family intact, please do ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to write on facebook
Q. Hi. On facebook. I want to write a message to this guy. He is a musician. I don't know what to say. Please help...
A. 6 January 2009: "Hi,
I've been listening to some of your music and I absolutely love it. When is your next show? I'd love to be there.
Hope we can chat sometime!
Talk to you later,
Josie"
Emilyanswers: Love that you picked the name Josie because it rem... (read in full...)
What do I do about this guy (he's coming over in 5 minutes!!)? Need your help, quick!
Q. Hey. I'm a common 18 year old girl that has been plunged into the depths of lovesickness! I'm in desperate need of love advice - so please help me if you can! Here's my question... Ever since I was 7, I've really REALLY ...
A. 6 January 2009: Here's hoping you finally get the answers you're looking for, though if you were looking for answers within 5 minutes, I probably missed that train. (and yes, your question is slightly novel like. Not necessarily a bad thing, at least you provided ... (read in full...)
He's masturbating in his sleep and says he can't remember doing it!!!
Q. I've been going out with my current boyfriend for about a month now. We have previously dated for 4 months last year and have decided to give it another go. Everything is going fine, much better than the last time, except there is one thing that kee...
A. 6 January 2009: Totally normal. I know my boyfriend sometimes will get carried away in his sleep. If I feel up to it, I'll generously help him out - and he wakes up to his girlfriend all over him - it's thrilling! But, if I'm sleepy, I just let him wear himself ... (read in full...)
How can I talk my parents into lowering the time away from each other and letting me go to her house again?
Q. My girlfriend gave me a handjob a few times; we also made out. Well, my parents found out and said that we couldn't date for six months. They eventually said that I could date her in 2 months and go to a dance with her (it's one month away). ...
A. 6 January 2009: I would stay clear from sneaking out to see her or anything - tempting though that might be, it will make your situation even worse. Show them how responsible you are at home, by not breaking the rules and going the extra mile. Write your girlfriend ... (read in full...)
I'm 5 months pregnant and want to know if it is still safe to have sex?
Q. I'm 5 months pregnant and want to know if it is still safe to have sex? ...
A. 5 January 2009: It is still safe to be having sex, but definitely talk to your doctor next time you go for a check up. Your doctor can inform you about what's healthy and what's not for your body and baby.... (read in full...)
Do women find men drinking beer on a date unattractive?
Q. Hi, I'd like some advice from the ladies, please! Very simply - do women generally find it unattractive if a man's drinking beer on a date, or even at a social event? My female friends tell me this is the case, and that I should switch to wine...
A. 5 January 2009: Depends on her feelings on alcohol - if she's really against drinking you'll have a problem. But, if she's not, I really don't think beer vs. wine is really an issue. It's all about how much you're throwing back. I would be upset if my fella was ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my boyfriend for watching porn?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 years. We do not live together and we are both virgins. He recently confessed that has watched porn at least once a week for the last 3 years. I was really hurt when he told me. He seemed to feel bad ...
A. 5 January 2009: Has your 4 years been quality? Is your sex life (I know you're virgins, but everything else.) fun and satisfactory? Once a week isn't bad, he's just having a little personal time. Do you masturbate? (If you don't while on your own, you totally ... (read in full...)
Why do I suck?
Q. Why do I suck? I can't seem to find anything positive about me. A microdick, no gf, no sex or love in my life, and OAB. Please help me rebuilt my confidence....
A. 3 January 2009: You definitely need to get out of the house. This kind of negative attitude about myself always happens when I've been holing myself up and not getting out a lot - socializing and remembering all the reasons why I don't suck, Heck, even if you're ... (read in full...)
I want to ask if I should keep being friends of if I should try and say that I like him?
Q. Hi, I really fancy this boy who I've been friends with for a while now. He's 17 and I'm 14 and we have really intimate open conversations and I don't know if this is his way of flirting with me or if he's just really open with his conversations. ...
A. 2 January 2009: You stay away from dating this guy. He is definitely the kind of guy who will add you to his "drunken booty call" list. If he doesn't want to commit to you, too bad for him, he misses out. Don't sell yourself short, sweetness, you are far too ... (read in full...)
My best friend's brother has cancer...
Q. I need some advice.... my best friend's brother has just been diagnosed with cancer and I want to be able to support her as long as she needs me. How do I let her know that I am here for her, she will put up a facade and act like everything is all ...
A. 2 January 2009: I would write her a letter, I think that's a very sweet and heartfelt thing to do. What a great friend you are, and how lucky she is to have you. I think that whatever you write will be fine - that you care about her, are there for her whenever, ... (read in full...)
When giving a hand job - do you like to tell the recipient what you are doing - describing?
Q. When giving a hand job - do you like to tell the recipient what you are doing - describing?...
A. 31 December 2008: I don't really narrate my handjobs. He's there! He knows what I'm doing! And besides, I wouldn't be working with much material: "okay, now I'm grabbing it. Stroking it. Stroking it. Stroking it. Stroking it. Stroking it."
The only time when I'm... (read in full...)
Girls!! Why do you like the "landing strip" so much?
Q. Soooooooooooooooo question to all girl, i wasnt wearing a shirt and my girlfriend saw the hair going from my belly button to i guess the lower part of my stomach i guess some people call it a landing strip or many other names. My girlfriend like ...
A. 31 December 2008: Yes, Katatonik, I always thought that landing strips were for ladies (and a little further South) and happy trails for guys.
It depends on the guy for me. Some guys I think it look super manly and studly. Kind of rugged. Like natures arrow --... (read in full...)
Male Thong
Q. I have been wearing a thong for the past 5 years and I find them very comfortable. I have many different colours. I am straight and have a girlfriend but she says only gays wear throngs and makes fun of me. Is it unnattural for a male to wear a ...
A. 29 December 2008: Oh, I completely forgot to add - being gay has absolutely nothing to do with what underwear you wear. The store I work at isn't a porn store or an adult store - it's just a men's underwear store in a mall. The guys who I sell jocks/thongs to - ... (read in full...)
Male Thong
Q. I have been wearing a thong for the past 5 years and I find them very comfortable. I have many different colours. I am straight and have a girlfriend but she says only gays wear throngs and makes fun of me. Is it unnattural for a male to wear a ...
A. 29 December 2008: Hi there,
I work at a men's underwear store in Oregon. It's one of its kind and a really interesting place to work. We have jocks and thongs as well as boxers, briefs, trunks, etc. You'd be surprised how many men actually do wear thongs! I actual... (read in full...)
Pregnant? Could I be?
Q. let get to the point. i jerked him off, he cummed, he washed his hands, then fingered me. am i pregnant???...
A. 29 December 2008: Really, really, really doubt it. If he did a good job washing his hands, you should be absolutely fine. The likeliness of you being pregnant is ridiculously slim. But, a home pregnancy test never hurt anybody, so put your mind at ease. Take you ease ... (read in full...)
How long do you have to pray to find God?
Q. What's the longest time somebody has prayed to find God? What if someone gave up 3 seconds before God was to answer his prayers? Would he be a fool?...
A. 29 December 2008: Some people spend their lives praying to find God. Spirituality and finding God (or whomever you're finding) is such a personal things and goes at a very personal pace. Praying, like meditation, takes practice, dedication and patience.... (read in full...)
Why do we stare at each other
Q. Hi, i have a male friend who i talk to everyday on msn, however we do not live near each other. we can talk for hours on end whether it is a video call, by phone or just via msn. We use our cam's a lot wen on msn and recently we just stop talking ...
A. 29 December 2008: Could mean you like each other - could mean you just don't have any more to say. Gotta read the vibes, baby!! That'll tell you what the real situation is.... (read in full...)
Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 28 December 2008: Oh my GOD, seriously. Things I get day by day:
"Did you parents want a boy?"
"Did your parents think you were a boy?"
"ARE you a boy?"
"Why don't you change your name?"
(that ones the worst, I mean come on. I don't say "Melvin, that's... (read in full...)
When is the safest time of the month?
Q. It will be my girlfriend's first time (not mine) and we don't want to use a condom to make it special. When would be the safest time of the month for us to do this (and I ejaculate inside her). I know no time is 100% safe but I know that it's much ...
A. 28 December 2008: Why don't you go to Planned Parenthood or your doctor, get a check up and set up for birth control. The birth control will kick in 8 hours later and you can make every time extra special because you'll be having sex safe and protected.
It really w... (read in full...)
Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 27 December 2008: I know a guy named Jade and I always thought his name was super cool. So I think you should go for it. "Jay" for short... Aiden as a first name is completely cute but I feel like everyone and their mother is naming their kid Aiden, Hayden, Jaiden, ... (read in full...)
Is it true that women prefer men who shave?
Q. is it true women like guys who shave better than guys who gotta bush????...
A. 27 December 2008: I assume we're talking about the Southern bush, not a beard bush, yes? I personally prefer when my guy keeps it trimmed nice and short. Not so short that it's bristly, but pretty short. Shaved is good, but it grows back really quickly. If you want ... (read in full...)
Does he think I am easy?
Q. well when i first went out with my bf, he said to his mate over email, that i was "up 4 it". does he think im easy? or am i just unstable from previous relationships that sounds the same as this situation?...
A. 26 December 2008: It seems to suggest that he think he's getting some and maybe he thinks you're easy. If you're not like that, don't be like that then. Tell him no and to respect your boundaries. He'll see soon that you're not "up 4 it", not unless he shows you that ... (read in full...)
Was this just a normal curiousity phase I was going through?
Q. When I was about 12 or 13 years old I was babysitting this 1 year old boy. I still had not fully gone through puberty so I still had some maturing to do. When I would change him, I noticed that sometimes his penis would come up sometimes almost as ...
A. 26 December 2008: Personally, yes, I think you were going through a curiosity phase. Girl, this has been weighing on you way too much for way too long. You were curious, young, didn't really know what you were doing, or what's right and wrong... three minutes of your ... (read in full...)
What is "Lolita Syndrome"?
Q. hi my moms new boyfriend told me that i have Lolita syndrome and i better fix it before he is alone with me. is that some sort of disease? could he catch it from me? should i tell my mom so i can get checked?...
A. 26 December 2008: ANSWER FROM MOD:
All the mods try to accept all KINDS of answers, we just have to use our judgment to decide if the advice is offensive, too vulgar or just plain unhelpful. There may be a difference of opinion as to what can be called offensiv... (read in full...)
I'm so disappointed by my guy's x-mas present!
Q. This Christmas I am so upset. I know it sound shallow but I got my boyfriend of 3 years a really nice skateboard (which was a very thoughtful and expensive gift) because he uses his really old beat up one everyday. The board I got him is amazing and ...
A. 26 December 2008: You know what? I'll bet hes really bummed out that he couldn't get you a super nice present and he went out and shopped for you, trying to find the nicest things that he thought you would love.
I think his gift was very thoughtful - maybe in a guy... (read in full...)
I'm all alone in an unfamiliar city with no friends!
Q. It's taken me awhile but I am totally lonely. My friends all have boyfriends that they moved in with and I feel like the black sheep because my relationship went sour. Everyone's was going in a direction but mine and right when we were supposed to ...
A. 24 December 2008: Hello, my darling.
I know how you feel. I live across the country from all my family and friends. I got STUCK out here (in a nutshell: one of my best friends was moving out here and asked me to come with her for a month or two and get adjusted... (read in full...)
I wished him a merry christmas and he never responded!
Q. So I wished my ex a "Merry Christmas" and got... ABSOLUTLY NOTHING...no response whatsoever. WTF? A little background: we dated for about 3 months, decided we would be better off as friends (ok, actually, I made that decision and told him I'd r...
A. 24 December 2008: Would I be offended if someone didn't respond... well, I might be upset, sure. But offended? That says to me that you're taking his lack of response as a personal attack against you.
Maybe he's a slacker when it comes to returning messages... (read in full...)
Don't want to jack-off! Need advice!
Q. What can I do when I get realllly hard? I don't want to jackoff! I need advice!...
A. 24 December 2008: Why don't you want to masturbate? I suppose ways to not jack off would be... thinking of things that turn you off. Scorpions. Teletubbies. Your Great Aunt Ruby's naked butt. Get your mind off of things, take a cold shower. Distract yourself.
... (read in full...)
How can I give this girl a Christmas card without seeming creepy?
Q. There's this extremely shy, beautiful and smart girl (we'll call her Pamela) that I've adored for some time now. Since it's almost Christmas time, I have thought of giving her a simple card, but I get a bad feeling that she may not like me back, and ...
A. 23 December 2008: Yayyy!!! The ornament idea was great! How thoughtful. Well, I wish I had a fella like you giving me Christmas cards. You sound like such a catch! ... (read in full...)
Is he too short for me?
Q. i know it is kind of snobby to be picky about guys outer appearance, but i cant get over how short he is! i really like his personality and his looks, but he is way shorter than me. WAY. like i am 5'4 and he is 5'. i dont want to sound like a jerk, ...
A. 22 December 2008: If you can't date him, you can't date him. YES, it is superficial and YES, you should see him for who he is on the inside and how he treats you, but you know what? Sometimes there is just that great guy who you're just not physically attracted to ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? How do I stop doubting her?
Q. Okay, so I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 11 months now, and she is the best and longest girlfriend I have ever had. She is the first girl I have really loved. We both go to the same University, have the same major and live in the same...
A. 21 December 2008: I think you are overreacting. Sounds like she had a little rebound kiss, it's over and now she's back with you. It's not as if she cheated or anything - you seem to recognize that. Clearly she was upset about breaking up and wanted to make herself ... (read in full...)
How can I lift my breasts without telling anyone?
Q. my breast are very unattractive My nipples are big and light colored, my left is about a half of size smaller than the right, and worst of all there saggy…..I am only 14 years old so I cant have any kind of surgery and I don’t want to talk to my pa...
A. 21 December 2008: I don't know about a chicken fillet in your bra, but you could try a silicone insert to boost the other breast up so that they match in size. A padded bra will do the rest of the work.
BUT, sweetness, you're so young and you've hardly given yo... (read in full...)
How can I give this girl a Christmas card without seeming creepy?
Q. There's this extremely shy, beautiful and smart girl (we'll call her Pamela) that I've adored for some time now. Since it's almost Christmas time, I have thought of giving her a simple card, but I get a bad feeling that she may not like me back, and ...
A. 9 December 2008: I agree with 'bubbloo' all the way!! If the girl rips it up, WOW. Get far away from THAT crazy girl if that's what she does. That would be tacky and a drastic reaction to a Christmas card.
She'll probably be extremely flattered - cards with a l... (read in full...)
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