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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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My world is falling apart
Q. I'm having a really tough time in my life right now. My dog died and I thought that I was grieving but now I think that i'm depressed. I don't even smile anymore and if I do its for a short while. I also have problems at school with this guy named ...
A. 4 February 2009: I'm sorry that your dog died - I've been through that too and it hurts so badly. Take your time grieving.
I wouldn't pursue this Robert guy. Any guy who calls you dumb and isn't supportive, considerate or sensitive to you when you're going th... (read in full...)
Should I take my girlfriend back after she cheated on me?
Q. Well I just found out yesterday that my girlfriend cheated on me. We've been together solidly for 3 months and on and off for 4 months before that. It was only a week ago that we lost our virginity to each other. It was my first time whereas she has ...
A. 4 February 2009: If you take her back, she'll see it as weakness and then she'll know that she can get away with anything. She'll do this again and again to you - and you won't be able to trust her. She seemed to lie convincingly the first time.
She seems to be at... (read in full...)
How can I break my hymen, since using a dildo doesn't work?
Q. Hi, I'm a virgin, and I'd like to break my hymen myself, so I won't have to worry about the pain when I eventually have sex. The problem is, that I've tried inserting a dildo before, and was able to get it in, but there was no bleeding, and no pain. ...
A. 4 February 2009: Everyone else gave you great advice on the hymen front, so I'll skip that part of the question. Honey, I've been having sex for a few years now, both with my fella and a few plastic friends (dildos). Dildos SUCK. I personally would take a vibrator ... (read in full...)
Getting cold feet?
Q. I've been married for a number of years, we're in the process of buying a house and moving accross country. My best friend is female and everyone else has always said how well we get along and likened us to a married couple ourselves but it...
A. 4 February 2009: Cold feet when moving is totally normal. It's scary to go to a new place with no friends, no familiarity... I'm sure you're bummed about leaving your friend too. I think that maybe you suddenly are thinking ... (read in full...)
I'm fat and I'm depressed because I can't make my family happy, help!
Q. im depressed and my family is depressing im fat and i dont know what to do..i cant make my family happy enough. and i am not perfect can you help find a solution. oh and i join the rotc. and my grades have dropped!...
A. 4 February 2009: Focus on making YOURSELF happy, your family will follow suit. If you start thinking more positively about yourself, they'll think positive with you. If you motivate yourself to go on a 45 minute walk a day, make healthier eating choices and work on ... (read in full...)
Cyber sex after my guy left! Is this cheating?
Q. I have a boyfriend that I love dearly.We have a very good relationship. Lastnight after he came offline I was still on my computer.He had to go to work so I sent him off to bed.Not that I had anything planned,but I knew he was tired. I met this man...
A. 4 February 2009: I'll just tell you this: if my guy was up having cyber sex with an anonymous internet gal, I would be just as pissed as if he had cheated. I would feel betrayed, hurt, completely cheated. That's how I would feel, at least.... (read in full...)
Was she a virgin? or did my ex b/f take it from her?
Q. I need to know if my girlfriend is a virgin. She claims she is, my friends say she is not, i don't know what to think. Before we started dating, her ex bf (my best friend) and her were in her basement drunk and naked making out. He was on top of ...
A. 4 February 2009: Physically she is only by a mere technicality, not a virgin. But really?? REALLY? In reality, she was forced to do something she didn't want to - borderline rape on your friends part, there. Mentally, your girlfriend is still as pure as she was ... (read in full...)
Does she want to be friends, more than friends?
Q. ok so... ive asked all my friends and id like to hear someone elses opinion on this.. ok so i like this girl. on the first day of school she asked me for my cell number, and we talk alot every night and we hang out a lot. ive asked her out but she ...
A. 3 February 2009: I think you should just talk to her and see what's really bugging her. Maybe you should add that with you, there won't be any weird pressure. Just because all your friends are being stupid and dangerous by having sex and giving blow jobs, that ... (read in full...)
Does she see me as a friend? Or more?
Q. Hi, I just wondered if i could have your opinion on a situation i'm in with a girl. I've known this girl for about 8 years now, she is the sister of one of my best friends. Although i have known her for quite some time, it is not until recently (ie. ...
A. 3 February 2009: My flirtage radar says: Definite Flirtage.
Lame, yes, okay. Anyhow, it sounds like she's just as curious about a relationship as you are. Why not ask her out on a casual date and see how it feels?
Go for it!... (read in full...)
The importance of pictures in a relationship
Q. Hi, My gf and I have been dating for a while and it has really been wonderful. There is one thing that bothers me though, we rarely take pictures together and when we go out we don't take as much pics as I would like us to... Is that a problem o...
A. 3 February 2009: It's not a major issue at all! It just means that later in your relationship you'll be bummed out that you didn't take pictures of you together back in the day.
It is seriously not any message or sign of a bad relationship. It just means you've b... (read in full...)
Opinions on using birth control AND condoms!
Q. My girlfriend has been on birth control for over two years and takes it exactly on time, every day, religiously. She has been tested several times and is 100% clean of diseases. I am also 100% clean of diseases because she is my first and only s...
A. 2 February 2009: Amen SatinDesire. yeah, I really feel like it's a legit request for her to make of you. Maybe she really regretted not making her last boyfriend wear a condom. Maybe something happened to a friend or she got more educated or she got nervous about ... (read in full...)
What are his intentions for going out with me again?
Q. I can't put my finger on what is my boyfriend's intention of going out with me again. I went out with him for about 2 months and he wanted a breakup saying that we are not "perfect" for each other. I mean, come on, it's a restarded excuse...
A. 1 February 2009: It seems like you're really just not into him. And that's completely okay if you aren't, but I'm not completely sold on the reasons you gave. Your friends all have pretty superficial reasons for not liking this guy - i.e. he's not good looking, you ... (read in full...)
He's going to be with his baby mama on Valentine's Day
Q. i aske my x boyfriend of 1 year what he doing for v day and he said he gone to be with his baby mama so how can i tell him i want to be with him for valentines day???...
A. 1 February 2009: If he's your ex boyfriend, you should really let him be with his family on Valentine's Day. Maybe ask him if he'd like to hang out the day before or day after - besides, the restaurants will be wayyyy less crowded.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
DearCupid had over one million people visit the site in January!
Q. I have just peeped at our visitor figures for January 2009, the month just gone, and I'm excited to see that DearCupid passed 1,000,000 (yes, one MILLION!) unique visitors/month for the first time. According to Google Analytics we had 1,040,812 ...
A. 1 February 2009: Yayyyy!!! What fantastic news!
Amazing, amazing stats for an amazing site. Congratulations. I'm having a drink in honor of Dear Cupid tonight! Well done, Andrew.... (read in full...)
What would YOU have done???
Q. I was sitting in homeroom and this girl was talking to my homeroom teacher at his desk. Suddenly, she dropped her backpack, ran to the garbage can, and started throwing up. No joke! It was a very strange start to my day (and quite disgusting). ...
A. 31 January 2009: I personally would've helped the poor girl to a nurse! If not for her being horribly physically ill (perhaps), she is at least humiliated and should be taken to the nurse so she doesn't need to stay in such an awkward position! He definitely should ... (read in full...)
Is it completely wrong to think a second-cousin is physically attractive?
Q. First of all, I'm definitely not going to pursue a damn thing when it comes to this because there are just so many factors against it. I also personally think it would be wrong to actually pursue it. But I do have a question: Is it completely wrong ...
A. 31 January 2009: It's not wrong at all. You can notice someone physical beauty without it being a crime. I'm glad you're not pursuing things because THAT would be more of a problem. But, if all your doing is appreciating a well sculpted fella, I guess there's ... (read in full...)
How do I make my boyfriend more sexual with me?
Q. I'm 14 and me and my boyfriend are the perfect couple but he not as sexual as I want him to be. How do I loosen him up? And I also want to give him oral. should I?...
A. 30 January 2009: Sounds like he's just not ready. He's going at a healthier pace than you are, my dear! I'm not saying that having a big libido isn't completely normal, and healthy for a 14 year old, but I am thinking that you need to sloooowww down a bit. The oral, ... (read in full...)
How do you make a LDR successful?
Q. How does one make a long distance relationship in the least bit successful? or even slightly functional? The reason i ask is that i'm in one...and to be honest i kind of want to rip his head off with my bare teeth. ...
A. 30 January 2009: HAHA, okay you sound like you're in a rough situation over there. Thank the Lord he lives long distance or he'd be running around headless and you would have blood on your teeth! Okay, enough with the jokes...
LDR's are so freakin' hard. It's a l... (read in full...)
I just want to know if I worry for nothing.
Q. I know people are tired of the stupid "am I pregnant" questions on here but mine is maybe something different. I just started having sex with my boyfriend. We use condoms and everything but he pulls out and takes it off at the end and leaves his ...
A. 30 January 2009: First: you are NOT stupid. You would be a little stupid if you DIDN'T ask questions, so good for you for wanting to be safe and take care of yourself. I call that very, very smart.
It can only get inside of you if he's not careful where he shoot... (read in full...)
How on earth do I get back in contact???
Q. I'm kicking myself at the moment. I have been on a four day training course, where I meet a lovely guy, we exchanged the odd word here and there but I was too shy to start a conversation as I would have got tongue tied. I often caught him glancing ...
A. 30 January 2009: Pretty much keep kicking yourself, unless you are so determined that you call up the training course and try to describe him and find out if they can give you any extra information.
Lesson learned, huh? (sorry, your situation really stinks..... (read in full...)
My girlfriend sees me more like her best friend rather than boyfriend...
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half and I really love her and she loved me too... But last night I knew something was up, so I asked her. It took a while for her to tell me, but I told here I was here for her. She said I ...
A. 30 January 2009: I feel your girlfriend. I've been there. A relationship, especially a young one, needs some sort of mystery to it. She needs to get out and have her own space so that she can feel excited about seeing you and get that chemistry back. It's important ... (read in full...)
Opinions on using birth control AND condoms!
Q. My girlfriend has been on birth control for over two years and takes it exactly on time, every day, religiously. She has been tested several times and is 100% clean of diseases. I am also 100% clean of diseases because she is my first and only s...
A. 30 January 2009: I don't see why you can't discuss a different secondary form of birth control. There are plenty of alternatives to condoms if all she is worried about is pregnancy. I completely agree with all the other posters - it could be a disease scare and ... (read in full...)
He proposed, but now he's not sure. What should I do?
Q. my boyfiend and i have been going out for about a year and two months everything seem to be going ok but not we are constantly fighting about silly things and i just do not know what else to do.i love him and he loves me and he had proposed to me ...
A. 30 January 2009: The best you can do is wait, my darling. You don't want to rush him any more than you wanted him to rush you back then. And, if he is wary of marriage, it sounds like he is wary for the right reasons... before you make that promise again to each ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has switched from watching amateur to mainstream porn.
Q. My boyfriend has switched from watching amateur to mainstream porn. Why is this? I know I'll get bashed, because I'm the insecure type. I know men will tell me to get over it and quit being such a controlling girlfriend, but hey, I know that and ...
A. 30 January 2009: I, for one, would MUCH rather have my guy be watching these "perfect women", and I'll tell you why. My guy can tell the difference between one of these fake, clearly slutty, overly plastic surgeried and just a little TOO enthusiastic porn stars and ... (read in full...)
Help! valentines day... long distance girlfriend!
Q. I've got a girlfriend [please I don't need any lecturing about how having a gf is wrong because I'm a female too], that's not the problem. Well she lives in new york, while I live about 400 miles away from her. Since it's going to be valentines ...
A. 30 January 2009: Google "Flower Delivery" and OODLES of sites come up that I'm sure deliver to NY. Good Luck and happy V-Day!... (read in full...)
Do guys really like when a girl sticks fingers or toys up the males bum?
Q. Do guys really like when a girl sticks fingers or toys up the males bum? I have a few guy friends that say they like it around but not in. I have another male friend that says to help my boyfriend out with the whole anal thing but I feel ...
A. 30 January 2009: Most guys would be way too wussy to say they enjoyed it because generally guys are too afraid they'll seem gay or something (completely untrue, that's just dumb socialization coming into play). But, a lot of guys actually DO like that kind of play ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I'm in love with him?
Q. Hi, I think I am in love with my boyfriend. I love everything about him, he has his flaws as any person does but he wouldn't be the same without them. I know it's not lust because it isn't just physical attraction... what drew me to him was his ...
A. 29 January 2009: How new is this relationship?
That's the key question. If you are within the first... say, 3 months, I would hold back. The L-Bomb shouldn't be dropped too early or it can change the relationship - maybe he'll think you're moving too fast or overw... (read in full...)
I sent a text about my husband TO my husband by mistake!!!!
Q. Hi. I accidentally sent a text message to my husband that was intended for my mom. His parents had asked him to do something that I felt was unfair and at a bad time. I am a stay at home mom of his three children. His mom, dad, sister and her live ...
A. 29 January 2009: HAHAHAHHAHA, EmilyAnswers, you kill me.
Well, everyone has slipped up and mis-sent a text. You get red in the face, you apologize, give him a bonus "I'm sorry" massage, it's over.
I think your husband will ultimately understand. You ... (read in full...)
How can I propose to her?
Q. It's a little bit big qstion, I dont know how you'll react but I need some real guiadance, I am 19, and the girl I love is 15, she is my first cousin, please don't choke. I am in love with her for 3 years, but never told her. She is my first love, ...
A. 29 January 2009: Touche, okay. Thank Goodness you're not going to propose to her.
Listen, personally this is what I would do if my cousin told me he had feelings for me. I would never be able to look him in the eye again. I'm really trying to imagine this and... (read in full...)
Is there hope for this relationship?
Q. I've been sick for the past two days, and thus, have had a lot of time to think about my relationship with my boyfriend. We're been living together for half a year now, and he's starting to get to me: - he's childish. IE: he's 21 and still ...
A. 29 January 2009: It's not doomed to failure, no. But, it doesn't seem like much fun to be in. He sounds like he needs some more time to grow up and maybe he'd be better off flying solo. You sound like you'd definitely be better off with someone else.
It can be f... (read in full...)
How can I propose to her?
Q. It's a little bit big qstion, I dont know how you'll react but I need some real guiadance, I am 19, and the girl I love is 15, she is my first cousin, please don't choke. I am in love with her for 3 years, but never told her. She is my first love, ...
A. 29 January 2009: Wow, there is just so much here...
Firstly:
Don't propose to her. I don't care if you're related or you're not. You haven't been dating, she doesn't even know you like her - and you think she will say yes to a proposal? You should tell her ... (read in full...)
Thoughts on belly button piercing?
Q. Hey :) Well I was thinking about getting my belly button piereced, but im not sure if its a good idea or not! It looks cool, but although im ok with pain, its needles im not a fan off, although I can cope. I mean I got through my TB jab! So the main...
A. 29 January 2009: If you go in (make sure that it smells like a Doctor's office when you go in. Seriously, fine the cleanest place you can and ask lots of questions to make sure that they're using completely clean equipment, etc.), they'll let you know if you can't ... (read in full...)
It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend, any ideas?
Q. It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend... Any ideas??? Male and female answers welcome!!...
A. 29 January 2009: Oooh, hooray!! Have fun!... (read in full...)
Is having a blue eye and a green eye weird?
Q. what physical characteristics do girls find very attractive? is having a blue eye and a green eye weird?...
A. 29 January 2009: It's not weird, it's AMAZING!!! What you have, my friend, is a babe magnet. If I was 13-15, I'd find you very attractive!... sadly, I can only talk my 26 boyfriend into getting mismatched eye contacts. Awesome.... (read in full...)
Thoughts on belly button piercing?
Q. Hey :) Well I was thinking about getting my belly button piereced, but im not sure if its a good idea or not! It looks cool, but although im ok with pain, its needles im not a fan off, although I can cope. I mean I got through my TB jab! So the main...
A. 29 January 2009: I got my belly button pierced on my 18 birthday and LOVED IT for 4 years, then took it out to change it, couldn't get it back in, thought to myself "eh, I'll just wait until tomorrow" and sadly, it never got back in. I had to go back in and get it ... (read in full...)
Should every free moment be spent being constructive?
Q. When i get back from school, or on the weekends if i'm not doing something to fill like every minute then my parents complain about me not being 'constructive', just so that i can hopefully confirm, does everybody have free time to do as they please ...
A. 28 January 2009: Hi there,
Nahhhh, you don't need to fill every moment with business! Sometimes it's nice to just have time to yourself, to do you own thing whether that be writing, listening to music, taking a walk, hanging out with your friends, whatever... (read in full...)
Pain & cyst on testicle..any advice?
Q. I am experiencing pain in my right testicle and have been researching online - i need some advice..the back of my testicle on the epididimus is really quite tender and is sending an achey pain through me. I have a small cyst there anyway and i am ...
A. 28 January 2009: I've read several times that any pain in the testicles is an indication that you need to go to the doctor. Don't mess around or procrastinate - just get yourself to a doctor ASAP.... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time didn't work! Help!
Q. hi, i desperately need some advice. I tried having sex for the first time last night, it was with my boyfriend of 7 months and we were perfectly save and everything. There was just one problem, he couldn't get his penis into me. Has anyone else had...
A. 28 January 2009: Hi there,
Been there. When I first lost my virginity, I had the exact same problem, and you know what? I continued to have the problem for a straight MONTH!!!! Longest month of my life, but also the most fun month EVER! The key is just relaxing... (read in full...)
We're growing apart. What can I do to stop that?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months. We're completely in love with each other, and here's what's happening: We're in a somewhat long-distance relationship because we go to different schools, and we only get to see each othe...
A. 28 January 2009: Hi sweetness,
This doesn't mean the relationship isn't special, it means that you two are faced with a lot of obstacles to make your relationship feel as close as it is. Write letters to each other in the mail, that's a good way to keep this rom... (read in full...)
No armpit hair
Q. im 14 and i don't have any armpit hair should i be concerned because all my friends have it even the ones younger than me have it. I do't even have a single hair....
A. 28 January 2009: I have a feeling you'll grow hair eventually. Don't you worry. But, to reassure you that you don't look weird, a lot of guys shave their armpits. It looks better, trust me!
You're going at your own pace. I wouldn't worry!... (read in full...)
How can I help my fiancee deal with her grief???
Q. HI, I was curious if anyone had any advice to help me both with helping my fiancee and with my own issues dealing with this. A few days ago my fiancee's brother took his own life. Since then my fiance has obviously been not feeling that gre...
A. 27 January 2009: Give her the space she needs to grieve in the way she feels best. If she leaves you out or you feel neglected, please do not take it personally. Don't bug her about it. She is dealing with this in her way. You sound like a wonderful person for her ... (read in full...)
It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend, any ideas?
Q. It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend... Any ideas??? Male and female answers welcome!!...
A. 27 January 2009: I agree with EmilyAnswers (as usual)! 5 years together constitutes a weekend away where you behave like you did when you first started dating. Shag every few hours and spend the time giggling, reminiscing and loving each other like crazy.
It do... (read in full...)
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