Do I stay with my girlfriend and hope things get better, or leave her for a girl who may leave me for a girl when she decides I'm just a phase?
Q. im currently in a relationship with a girl and ive been with her for five years, i loved her in the beginning and i still care for her but im finding it hard to say to myself that i still love her and for the last year ive felt less intrested in ...
A. 16 January 2014: Don't use your gf as a crutch until you find something better. That's very disrespectful.
If you want to dump her, do it regardless of whether or not there's someone else in the picture. ... (read in full...)
I found his ad on casual sex sites but thought he was against it!!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my current boyfriend for about 7 months now. About a month ago, I was using his iPad to purchase Christmas presents and I found a site bookmarked called "Forgetdinner". I was curious so I entered the site and it turn...
A. 16 January 2014: You haven't been with him that long - don't wait until it's too late to do what you know you should do: break up with him.
For the sake of argument, I'll accept that he may not be physically cheating on you right now. But he's logging onto a c... (read in full...)
I just need to know that what I'm asking him to do isn't selfish...but an act of a mother who needs to protect her child from these trashy people!
Q. There was a time in my marriage when it was really dark...I didn't know how to get back to the beautiful that we had. And although that may sound completely dramatic...it's the truth. My husband's family is horrible...the most self-centered people I ...
A. 15 January 2014: Family is complicated... Your husband is probably so used to his bad behavior that he's numb to it. Confronting his step dad would be pointless, so in some sense being angry at him would be do. But I don't understand why he wouldn't just write him ... (read in full...)
I just need to know that what I'm asking him to do isn't selfish...but an act of a mother who needs to protect her child from these trashy people!
Q. There was a time in my marriage when it was really dark...I didn't know how to get back to the beautiful that we had. And although that may sound completely dramatic...it's the truth. My husband's family is horrible...the most self-centered people I ...
A. 15 January 2014: From what you're saying I would feel confident telling my significant other that I will never go to their house again and if they want to meet they can do it at your house once in a great while.
They ... (read in full...)
He ran away without even listening to me
Q. [Moderator note: Here is a link to this OP's previously submitted question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-announced-he-wanted-a-month-apart.html] My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me over 2 months ago and I can...
A. 15 January 2014: Unfortunately you can't always talk someone into being with you. It sounds like ultimately the two of you weren't happy together. Without happiness, what's the point of love? ... (read in full...)
I am ADDICTED to HIM!
Q. When i say addictive i mean addicted to HIM! We had been together on and off for two years, and the relationship that we had was far from a healthy loving stable relationship. Although there were very good moments in the relationship the bad ...
A. 14 January 2014: It's because he treats you like crap so often that when there's a glimmer of hope that he "really does love you" or "really will change" it makes you feel so good.
You're being mentally abused in my opinion. Just do what you need to do and bloc... (read in full...)
His two best friends havent reacted to his FB post about us being engaged!
Q. My Fiance proposed to me 2 weeks ago. We were away at the time so he put it on facebook. Most of his friends wrote a message or called him but his 2 BEST friends of 30 + years who he's travelled the world with etc are still yet to contact him. I ...
A. 14 January 2014: Those bastards! ... (read in full...)
Is this woman just an angry person?
Q. When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...
A. 14 January 2014: You have a few options.
Live with it, accept her for the way she is and stop asking her to talk about it find a way deal with it.
Or, spend a ton of money and wait a few months or years while she goes to therapy.
Or you could do the r... (read in full...)
Does it turn you on to watch your partner masturbate?
Q. Do you masturbate in front of your husband? Does it turn him on to watch you play with yourself? Do you like to watch him play with himself?...
A. 12 January 2014: I like to watch my wife but not the other way around.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a lot of female friends and I just can't deal with it
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I am currently in a new relationship (my first relationship) with a great guy. He is kind and attentative and so far we mesh well. We are pretty different types of people in some ways. One of the biggest differences came...
A. 10 January 2014: The problem here is mostly your own insecurity which creates the jealously and possessive behavior.
The solution is simple. Recognize that no amount of controlling behavior can prevent him from cheating on you. If he wants it to happen, it's goi... (read in full...)
Found out boyfriend looks at porn and gay porn. Does everyone do this?
Q. really need some good advice as this problem is really upsetting me . ive been with my partner 3 years and have lived together for 6 months with our baby . i recently found that he had looked at gay porn on the internet. he says hes not gay and ...
A. 10 January 2014: Everyone definitely doesn't do it, but it doesn't make him gay. Just curious. Not even bi-curious, just good old fashioned curious.
Personally I don't have a problem with it in the least, but it's just not something I'm remotely interest... (read in full...)
What would you consider as being needy?
Q. Hey everyone, what would you consider as being needy? I am just curious about cause in my case, we haven´t seen each other for over six weeks and then I just wanted to spend a couple days with her. It was great for two days and then She claime...
A. 10 January 2014: It's very difficult to list everything it could be, but in general it's when you want more than the other person wants to give.
The right person won't think you're needy because they will need you as much as you need them. If you agree with tha... (read in full...)
The show is over before it even begins! Any tips on handling this problem?
Q. We are both virgins, happy relationship, ready to have sex. Care about each other a lot, he's lovely. Everything else - oral, manual, foreplay - is great. But when we go to have sex, he cums immediately. Like, within a split second of going to ...
A. 10 January 2014: I doubt a conversation will do any good. This is probably one of those things that's a deal breaker for many people. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling jealous of my boyfriends co-worker?
Q. How do I stop feeling jealous of my boyfriend's coworker for whom he used to have feelings? I live about 40 minutes away from him and only see him on the weekends, mostly. She and him used to work together, but she moved on to a different company ...
A. 9 January 2014: The way I've dealt with jealousy is to come to the conclusion that if your significant other is the right person for you they won't cheat or behave inappropriately.
If they do chest or cross a line then they obviously aren't as perfect as you t... (read in full...)
Does anal sex usually hurt so much? Should I feel guilty that I had sex?
Q. This might sound kinda crazy but I need to hear if anyone else has had an experience like this. I've been seeing this boy for a little while now and he is super cute. A few days ago he took me on a date to the carnival and we got a little drunk a...
A. 9 January 2014: That would probably happen to most people if they didn't lubricate properly, either with plenty of fluids from your vagina (if available) or lube. ... (read in full...)
How slow is too slow in dating? Her response led me to believe she wasn't interested
Q. I met a woman on one of the online dating sites. Our first meet up was on a Monday for dinner. We hit it off pretty good and she said so herself. I asked her if she would like to go out a second time to which she replied "yes". With that I asked her ...
A. 8 January 2014: If I was you I wouldn't worry about one woman's time frame. You could be dating other women while she takes things slow. ... (read in full...)
So what's next? Should I make a move, since he is a 36 year old shy guy who has never had a GF?
Q. My siblings are trying to match me with a guy they have known for sometime now. They swear he is a gentleman and is intellectual and respectful to everyone. He added me on fb upon learning about me and we began talking for a few months since I am ...
A. 8 January 2014: You'll find out why he's 36 and has never had a gf soon enough. But for now take things slow with him and see where it goes. The key is SLOW! ... (read in full...)
He takes up to 3 hours to respond to texts!!
Q. Hi everyone! So me and this guy have been basically dating for a few months (he asked me out about a month ago). We basically have a continuously running text convo, and we respond when we can. It's been winter break though, and lately he's been...
A. 5 January 2014: Do you think that people never change from the moment you meet them? He talked a lot when things were brand new. Now they're not. It happens to everyone. ... (read in full...)
I still like my ex, but does he still like me?
Q. My ex called me last Wednesday to ask me to go for a drink with him. I was surprised when I saw him, as he was dressed in very smart clothes, and I had only ever seen him in quite casual clothes before that. He also told me that he was nervous. I ...
A. 5 January 2014: It sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you.... (read in full...)
I feel so low, I thought he cared but he implied I am a stalker!
Q. Please give a good advice I'm really hurt I thought a guy I worked with for ages liked me and we became close He told me he was unhappy with the girl he lived with and had 'issues' Anyway over time we became close and he gave me the impression t...
A. 5 January 2014: It may have been a slight exaggeration, but it's a word I'm not surprised he used based on your own description of what happened.
The lesson you need to learn is to know when things are over. Don't listen to what someone says when their actions ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my boyfriend's chances of getting a visa?
Q. I am in a conundrum! My long distance, international boyfriend and I are trying to arrange for him to stay with me in the states for 6 months. He comes from a Nordic country that is listed at one of the top 5 places to live! I don't want to ...
A. 4 January 2014: I think the fact that you want to move to his country helps. They usually only deny people from wealthy countries if they suspect them of being dishonest or if they leave nothing behind in their own country and they think that they'll come here and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of four years drinks, smokes, and gambles but won't admit he has a problem
Q. Hi everybody, I could so do with some sound and serious advice, I feel as if I am going around in a circle about this. I've been with my boyfriend for going on 4 years now. It's long-distance but we see each other as often as possible, at l...
A. 4 January 2014: At what point do you decide he's not right for you?... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem boring during dinner conversation with my boyfriend and his friends!
Q. hello all, tonight i'm out for a meal with my boyfriend, his friend and his friends wife - i really am worried about conversation i'm not a natterer, a huge talker, i prefer to listen. i envy girls who get a bottle of wine a talk none stop for ages...
A. 4 January 2014: You don't need "topics and tips", you just need to be comfortable with yourself. Not everyone talks a lot and most people understand that. I'm sure your boyfriend has figured that out by now.
If you try to talk about things you're not comforta... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? Am I racist?
Q. I am nearly 19 and still never had a boyfriend. Or been kissed. It could just be because of my introverted personality, my pickiness (cause I like a good characteristics) or because of the whole 'waiting for the right guy' thing, but personally, I'm ...
A. 4 January 2014: Racism is about feeling superior, not attraction. Although, attraction can be formed by society's racism, that's for sure.
I am white and find myself attracted to non white women a little more than white women. But, when I get to know a white wo... (read in full...)
Ethical dilemma
Q. Hi there, It's more of an ethical delimma than Love question. I took my car for a state inspection and I was told I need to pay about $ 2000 to have it pass. My car works fine, for the last year i had it ,i just had to replace tires on it. it ...
A. 4 January 2014: Take it to a mechanic you trust. I doubt it'd cost that much, the guy who inspected it probably wasn't a mechanic too.
Also, try registering it somewhere that doesn't do inspections. I live in Seattle, which does inspections, but have my car regi... (read in full...)
Why do girls break up with me?
Q. Two weeks ago I met a widowed woman. she is so beautiful that I fell in love of her. after 3 or 4 times of meeting many sms's suddenly yesterday she asked me to separate. I don't know why? she just said we are from two different worlds. I had thi...
A. 3 January 2014: I think you scare them off by coming on too strong and supposedly falling in love with them right away. As someone stated, you don't fall in love because someone's beautiful.... (read in full...)
I'm trapped in a bad marriage and I have feelings for a married man who's in a similar situation like me. Have any of you been in this situation before and did anything ever come of it especially when both of you had children?
Q. Could this man be my soul mate? I have been married for almost 10 years, and I am an extremely faithful and understanding wife. Although people get married with the intention of loving in good times and in bad, I feel like I have been through ...
A. 3 January 2014: You're right, it does sound crazy because it is. I absolutely believe you haven't felt anything like this before, but you also have never been in this situation either.
You're feeling trapped in a marriage with a husband who doesn't treat you well... (read in full...)
how should you take things to next level with this girl ?
Q. Hello Cupid What does it mean when you tell a girl that you find her attractive and really like her but she doesn't say anything back! (She just mentions its hard for her to express to people and she does not say much usually) ! And you give a b...
A. 2 January 2014: It sounds to me like you don't have great chemistry. Not really your fault as she just sounds introverted or immature.
Maybe she's not the right person for you? Sometimes physical attraction is easy to come by but compatibility is more difficul... (read in full...)
She told me how somebody 'could get her panties to drop!"
Q. Alrighty then, a little backstory on me. I'm 19 and I've never even had my first kiss, let alone a date. It's not lack of opportunity, just no one I've been interested in that the opportunity came up with. So, anyways I've known a girl for about 6 ...
A. 2 January 2014: She's telling you what turns her on. Maybe she was drunk.... (read in full...)
LDR and we are ready for marriage, but who moves where?
Q. I am in a Long Distance relationship that seems to have worked so great until now that we are trying to make the next move into marriage. Neither one of us wants to relocate. When we met the talks of relocation was easy. Now he is very much ...
A. 1 January 2014: How much time have you guys spent together in person?
If it's plenty (like a few months) then I'd say this is a hard choice. If it's less than that I think you might just have to call it off, as hard as that may be.
Moving from one country to a... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my ex so she can get closure from our breakup but its making me very uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I never thought I'd resort to asking online, but I realize what I really need is an outsider's perspective on the situation. I'm bisexual, btw. Basically, this summer I started going out with a woman and although it was fun in the begin...
A. 1 January 2014: First of all, this was an extremely well written question.
Second, you owe her NOTHING! She has a ton of issues and she's got to be the one to deal with them, it's not your responsibility. Besides, if you were scared of her at some point then you... (read in full...)
I am ready to end this relationship! I'm tired of being alone!
Q. I am sitting here in tears as I type this.... my so called 'partner' has given me no time at all this Christmas and the final blow...he has just told me he is apparently going round to his mums tonight instead of spending it with me the way he usual...
A. 31 December 2013: I'm not saying whether he did the right thing or not, but either way you should be able to depend on more than just him to keep you entertained during the holidays.
It's probably not his fault that you aren't close to your own family or his. Som... (read in full...)
How to deal with previous sexual partners?
Q. Hey guys, I'm really stuck, I may be young but I am sure of this relationship I am in, there's literally one issue. The girl has had 6 sexual partners before me, and whilst there's worse things and worse numbers, I really really can't get ...
A. 31 December 2013: Maybe you feel like the number indicates she's easy, or you're not special because she's not that picky. Maybe you feel like your relationship won't last because she could get bored of the monotomy.
Who knows. Try and figure out what really i... (read in full...)
Is this marriage worth saving?
Q. I was dating this man and I should say I really had a bad time with him. He used to call me names, too busy for me, wanted me to plead for sex with him, would never say he wants to see me, and NEVA visited me if I DID NOT PICK HIM UP AND DRIVE HIM ...
A. 30 December 2013: In fairness, you didn't list one remotely positive trait about this guy, or one single reason you should stay. "I love him" doesn't count as some people just fall in love with bad people.
So don't expect anyone to tell you to try and save your mar... (read in full...)
Help with hand jobs
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. He has fingered me various times now and I want to give him something back. I know he's okay with me touching him because we have spoken about it recently. I'm quite shy so I'm not ...
A. 30 December 2013: Use lubricant, that's all I can say. I've never got a decent hand job from a woman before, it's no substitute for oral or sex. It is good for getting him hard, but then what?
If you guys are waiting until marriage be careful. ... (read in full...)
I met a guy online and he kept on postponing because of back problems. Should I wait it out?
Q. Hi guys, I have come looking for advice, just slightly confused about a sitaution .So a while ago I decided to give online dating a go. I met this guy online. We hit it from the start.Its been five months and we speak everyday, skype text etc.....
A. 28 December 2013: This is why he's 30 and never had a relationship. It's definitely not worth pursuing him any more, because as nice as he may be, do you really want to deal with crap like this forever? ... (read in full...)
It's not so much what he did, it's that he lied about it
Q. hey aunties and uncles... i am in a real tricky situation and just cant seem to make my own judgement or decision on what to do... I have recently been seeing a guy for the last 7 months and am planning to get married in November... we have known ...
A. 28 December 2013: You keep contradicting yourself.
"i dont even care that of his past... everyone has a past and i would always learn to accpet that"
"i would have never given it up if i knew he had slept around"
So, here's the deal: he really liked you, and... (read in full...)
We met, then nothing, then we met, had sex, and now again I hear nothing!
Q. Hi really hope someone can give me some good advice i met a man in july met up a few times had a few dates then i heard nothing for a month until a text saying he is in a awkward situation which he genuinely was we talked on Christmas eve and ...
A. 28 December 2013: If him not calling you the day after you have sex is causing you to get all bothered then you may be the one with the problem. ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking because of guilt or did he really care?
Q. I had been dating my ex-bf for 8 months before he dumped me saying "we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's going anywhere.". when I asked him if he figured he wanna break up with me two weeks before (which is when I felt like he started becoming ...
A. 26 December 2013: Sometimes love isn't enough, that's for sure. And as soon as you start taking someone's love for granted you risk losing them.
Learn from your mistakes so that this becomes a positive experience. That way when you find a guy you're a little m... (read in full...)
I thought I was really into this guy but now I don't know!
Q. I thought I really was into this guy and now I am confused on my feelings for him. I met someone new that I am also really starting to enjoy. I was not confused about guy 1 until guy 2 came along and now I'm confused about both! We have slept ...
A. 26 December 2013: It's no big deal, just tell him you want to take things slow to get to know each other better without the complications that sex brings. ... (read in full...)
Is it better for me to forgive my ex or hate him?
Q. I was with my ex for 4 years(including 2 years LDR). We're in different countries. We planned to meet after he graduated from graduate school and while we're dating, he gave me commitment and talked about getting married. He dumped me 6 months ago, ...
A. 25 December 2013: There's no point in hating him. He broke up with you, it happens.
It doesn't sound like he was mean about it either. It could be that you guys not meeting for so long wore on him and he fell out of love. People need intimacy and closenes... (read in full...)
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