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Why is he so confusing? Shall I just try to forget him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Online dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *aisydoobird writes:

Ok,

So I started talking to a guy 'C' a few weeks ago after matching on a dating site. He is 23 and I'm 20 and we live a few miles from each other.

We got talking and he asked for my number.

Things went really well for the first couple of weeks and he shared some personal information about his depression and other problems as did I! He asked me on a date and I agreed we would in the New Year.

After that he stopped replying to me and only talked when he felt like it (and even then it wasn't much' He then texted me late one night after ignoring me saying 'are you free to speak now?' which I wasn't as it was late and he replied ' I'll leave it for another night' but wouldn't answer me after that.

He asked to meet up last night for a drink and I said I would try as I felt like we had a connection.

He then texted me saying 'text my new number' and 'wat u up to' which isn't usually how he speaks.

I called him to see if he was in town yet. He talked for a bit then said 'talk to my friend for a sec'.

I knew instantly it was his friend I had been talking on the new number to so I asked him 'is this your phone' he confirmed and I asked to speak to 'C'.

He laughed it off and I got pretty mad and hurt. He then replied 'I think I need to break things off because you're not the person I thought you were' and hung up.

I'm pretty upset as I thought finally I had met someone who I could talk to and who would support me. I know he is in the wrong but i can't help wanting to talk to him because one side of him is amazing but this other side isn't.

It also doesn't help that he's pretty gorgeous and everything I would look for in a guy yet I'm not much to look at.

I feel like he is hiding something but shall I just leave it alone and try to forget him?

Help!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2016):

What the??! Why are you handing out your number to a stranger you haven't met?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe sounds like an idiot. And you have nothing to feel bad about. Asking to met up late night at a bar.. well, to me that is not how you get to KNOW a person (unless you mean carnally aka sex).

Just block him and move on.

My advice.. go slow. TAKE the time to get to know them, but don't try and conduct an ACTUAL relationship or "get to know you phase" over text. It's not realistic to build something lasting on texting.

If you both seem to feel a connection after talking a couple (2-4 week) then met up for a short date - like over coffee or lunch and see if the person you have been chatting with online/text/phone is someone you also get along with in person.

I would NOT give a whole lot of personal information in the "getting to know you phase".

He might have been gorgeous on the outside but not so much on the inside, if he thinks it's OK to pull a prank on you with his best buddy.. that is just childish and cruel.

I know it sucks to be "rejected" or turned down, but I think you dodged a bullet - this guy wasn't looking for anything serious.

He was a dud, try again.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2016):

Yes forget him - you've run into somebody who is not genuinely looking for a relationship and the internet is full of them.

Don't go looking for "the truth" or the whys and wherefores for his behaviour. You won't get a straight answer that satisfies you. He's just not the right guy for you because he's not as into you as you are to him.

You're perfectly entitled to be upset (most people would be) but that's all you can do except for move on.

All the best

Ruby

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