A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, im 18 years old and i started not trusting my boyfriend and getting fishy ever since this:to make a long story short: he gave me his email account/password back in sept to check something. In Dec, i went on his account because i got fishy. There was nude pictures of a girl he is close friends with. I know her because she used to have a crush on him and told him in sept that she might have feelings for him, when me and my bf were together. I confronted him about this and he said he was shocked when he recieved the pics and got confused and talked to her about it saying never do it again. He told me the only reason why he saved them under his personal file is because he wanted to keep it as evidence if she did it again and he will send it to her mom.After winter break in Dec, i saw her in school and confronted her. she denyed it all of ever doing such a thing. i was mad. now i guess we are enemies. she thought i had trust issues and im just insecure about my relationship with him. well obviously im secure when you are sending him naked pics. ugh. But my bf has stopped talking to her and deleted her from his life.Also, on top of this, there is another girl that used to like him over the summer. they are still friends even tho he knows she makes me feel uncomfortable. in school... when im walking with him and shes coming towards us, she looks straight at the ground and he just pretends not to notice/look the other way. its really awkward. i read a note on his itouch the other day and it said how he really loves me and "why did i pull her in like that? but we both wanted it" i asked him about this and he said it was a hug. he was lonely that day bc me and him were upset at each other and he gave her a hug and she didnt let go. =((((((((((((((the way he words things are weird, like, "they both wanted it" ...sounds like sex.sorry this is so long, i really want to know how i can overcome my jealously..if thats what this is...everything just seems so fishy nowadays. hes upset i dont trust him. but hes wayyyy too nice to other girls.
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crush, insecure, jealous, nude pictures Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni already asked him everything there is. but i think this is one of those things. you will forgive but NEVER forget. and your scars will always be there.
A
female
reader, visione +, writes (29 January 2010):
 But he deleted those pictures right? Do you trust him?
Anyways, you know who will answer those questions at the back of your head? That's right, him. You should talk to him about your concerns. You should not just "sit and wait and hope things are ok" that is probably one of the worst things you can do - you will be left with those questions that might make you feel insecure, that might make him seem untrustworthy when he might not be (or he might be! but you'll never know without asking those questions!).
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Yes, relax. But do have a chat to him as a mature adult would. Just make sure your clear with the way you feel without exposing any weaknesses.
You know I do wonder if he gave you his login details just so you'd go snooping around and see those pictures. If so, why would he do that? Was it to get the reaction your giving now? Maybe people do strange things you know.
So don't worry about it. Even if he did, he's still with you now.
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A
female
reader, maisie41  +, writes (29 January 2010):
Sweetheart,
He wants his cake and the crumbs,keep a firm grip of your dignity and move on.If its possible perhaps the two of you can remain good freinds.Have fun and stick in to your studies,there is a genuine young man out there waiting for you who will not feel the need to mess with other girls because you will be everything to him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. He told me when he got those pictures, he called her saying if she pulled something like this again, hes going to give it to her mom. it sounds a little bit reasonable to me, because they both have EXTREMELY conservative parents and their parents do not let them date. idk what to believe. But is this a good thing for me to do right now?: Just relax. and see where things go? even tho i have that question in the back of my head?
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A
female
reader, visione +, writes (29 January 2010):
I understand how you feel about losing trust :( but he obviously respects you in the sense that he even gave you his login information (perhaps he feels like he has nothing to hide), deleted things without excuses upon confrontation, and ignores the other girls.Is it his nature to be nice to most people he meets? Is he an open and touchy person? My ex had many friends who were females and they often exchanged hugs, but I knew they were just friendly hugs, etc.You should really just sit down and have a talk with him - explain how all of this is making you feel, which of his actions bother you, what his intentions are, etc. You should really try to listen and understand him though, and then think about your love and trust for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): hi there, well I think you have every right to feel suspicious. If I found naked pics of a girl my boyfriend knows I'd get very upset - you've every right to be. Firstly I don't think his story about why he kept the pics makes sense. He should of deleted the pics and told her that he will disconnect the friendship if she does it again - he didn't need to keep the pics cos if she did it again he would have the second lot of pics to show her mum, right?? I think he's done the right thing by deleting her from his life - but he should have done it along with the pics when he got the email. As for this new girl, I always say to my boyfriend that I really have no objection to him having girl friends, as long as there's no attraction on either person - cos that's where things get trick, see if she had feelings for him over summer - she probably still does, and he wouldn't want her trying it on with him would he - so he should stay well clear of her! So really this is wrong you having to feel uncomfortable! As for the text, it doesn't sound to me like a hug either, if it is a hug what does he mean by 'pull her in like that', like what? Emotionally? Sexually? And 'but we both wanted it' - again wanted what and why!!?? These are the questions you need to ask him - he shouldn't be going to her for 'hugs' anyway, especially when there was previous feelings, surely that's what mums are for. Anyway I hope he isn't messing you around but I wouldn't at all be happy if that was my boyfriend! Ask him about it, or even confront her. What ever you do - gud luck!!!
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (28 January 2010):
Thats bull$#%&!, you want me to be honest? He kept them because he was having a wank over them. and she's trying to lure him in and away from you. But he's still with you okay.
Yeah, this is one of the hard things you'll experience through out those years, my best answer is to just not care so much and make sure he notices. show some love to other guys around you. if he cares for you he'll start getting jealous too ;) if he does not car then mabey its best to save your dignity and find a guy with a better heart.
Good luck, your life is just about to begin on a truly fun adventure, so keep smiling, and kick ass! no worries ;)
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A
male
reader, ebecode  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 Stop worrying urself for something that will never happen.you don't need to be jealous,whateva will be,will surely be.besides,think more about what u want 2 become in life,rather than wasting all of ur time thinking about a guy that has already love u.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I understand where you are coming from.. and its bs. He isn't keeping the pictures for evidence... he is keeping them because every once in awhile.... he wants to see another naked girl.
I have kinda the same issue with trust. I have been dating my bf for 2 1/2 years now... he was talking to some chick and I found out... SO now I don't trust him.. I know you might forgive and forget but it is never going away... Who is going to be the next girl. We are young because I am 21 and you are 18. be careful about this one.... relationships aren't meant to last this young anymore.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 January 2010):
 This sounds like excuses on top of excuses on top of more excuses. There is NO reason for him to keep the photos "as evidence." That's bs. Furthermore, that note sounds VERY suspicious. You're not being jealous, I think he's just making excuses for either cheating, trying to cheat, or wanting to cheat.
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