A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So, about a year ago I had a huge crush on this girl. I told her and she told me to try to get over her. Later in that school year, she told me and a friend of mine that she had feelings for us. My friend didn't really care, but I was extremely happy, though she had a boyfriend (whom she no longer had feelings for). We were sort of together over the summer, but I felt she didn't have true feelings for me because she never broke up with her boyfriend (because she felt bad) so I stopped seeing her. Eventually she broke up with him. At the beginning of the school year, my friend who seemed like he didn't care about my crush liking him, asked her out. I've felt terrible and heart broken since, but I am still friends with him because we've been friends since elementary school. I have respected their boundaries. But about 2 months after the beginning of the school year, my crush told me she still has feelings for me. She didn't break up with him because she liked us equally, and I told her not to because I felt bad. Now her feelings for him aren't nearly as strong, and she has even stronger feelings than before for me. I think I love her, but I feel bad for my friend. What should I do? Should I try to stay with her? Or should I just back off?
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female
reader, Jovian Erinys +, writes (14 December 2012):
 It sounds to me like she's uncertain about herself and who she wants. She is in the process of discovering her own identity through how different guys view her. She may be taking an (emotional) inventory. You have a choice to join her in her personal journey into self-discovery and risk being hurt but you will learn about relationships, in general. Or you can play safe and wait to only involve yourself when she (or whoever else) learns that relationships are a two-way street that are built on trust. She hasn't been very honest with other guys or about her 'feelings'.
A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 It sounds like shes messing with your head, sweetheart.
It says you're between 13 and 15, thats far to young to be thinking about being in love, you've still got alot of things and people to experience.
Besides it should be a joint effort, you don't really want to get involved with a girl that clearly can't make her mind up and you definately don't want to be waiting for her to make her cycle round to you.
If she was worth your time and effort, you wouldn't be on a waiting list or feeling heartbroken before you're even a couple.
X
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