A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel so weird talking about this. Here's the back story: My ex (we'll call him seymour)and I were best friends. We started dating when I was a senior in high school and he was still a junior. I fell for him and well let's just say it didn't end up like I had hope. we broke up because he said he loved me and then he had to take it back and I was going away to college. for 4 months things were confusing because we didn't know how we felt for each other. *I'm gonna fast forward here* that didn't end well and we both ended up dating other people. We ended up hating each other and the being friends again... it's weird.Okay now we're up to speed. He and I are talking on FB again and well he's sooooooooo damn cute now. I always thought he was cute but seriously it's now unbearable. So he wants me to throw a college kid party when I we both are home for the holidays (because did I mention we are also neighbors back home?) and I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if I get well intoxicated. See I don't think I could EVER have a dating relationship with him again because well it might hurt badly again. He's the only boyfriend I have had that when we broke up I couldn't get over. :S But I really well WANT him... if something happens that night (which knowing me it might) what should I do? idk what I'm asking I guess maybe you're opinions on what I should do. If it's right to let someone I will always have feelings for be just a meaningless make-out session... how to keep my feelings in check to make it nothing more than that... idk...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Sorry, I just found your question and wanted to answer!
So my advice is to NOT get intoxicated. It's a bad idea for a couple of reasons. One, the obvious one, is that you're technically underage. That means if something bad happens, the people who served you alcohol could go to jail, you could wind up killing yourself or other people if you drive (I personally know three families affected by this--all in separate incidents in the last 2 years--it DOES happen in real life).
Okay that lecture over.
Two, your feeling are all over the place about this guy. A meaningless make out session is just going to lead to more confused feelings on your part and cloud an already murky issue.
Go to the party and see him. And be an adult about this. What do I mean by that? Recognize to yourself that you'd be making alcohol the excuse for losing control. You know that it will impair your judgment already, so you're looking for the easy way out if you get drunk and make out. "Oh, it wasn't me, it was the beer! I didn't mean to make out with you." BS, by getting drunk, you are totally giving yourself permission to make bad decisions.
You've already got a history with him, things have already gone badly. Are you quite sure you really like him, or is it that he's physically attractive, even though he's not really the right type for you?
Or if you really want him, and you have no problems with emotional aftermaths, go ahead and do the drunken make out session. Just don't be surprised if you feel like sh*t the next day, and have to spend a lot of time working through all the feelings the encounter dredges up.
So now you have some input from me, you can work things through logically, I'm sure! You're in college, you've got some analytical skills, put them to work on this confusing situation.
Good luck!
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