A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:What should a wife do when her husband is going to prostitutes?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Hi, I hope you have gotten the answers you were looking for i just wanted to say to the man who posted i will never forgive him ever! he did me wrong and it is only right he pays in this life as well as the next i don't make his life hell we live and do things together now and it is not pleasant at times but we get on with it to forgive is to forget and i am afraid his sexual addiction to sluts has brought me problems too i have to live with the fact i am with a man whom i was totally and utterly devoted too was loyal, faithful for our whole marriage (29yrs) and he on the other hand has been with hundreds of slappers why should i forgive that?No sorry you see this from a man's view i don't i see it from the moral view you are not married to fuck around behind your wives back with filthy sluts who could have so easily infected him and him infect me!! no never in a million years do we have to forgive that!! His maker will do that not me.I could have so easily exposed his sordid secret to the world and to family and friends but i never instead i choose to make my marriage work and to resolve whatever the hell what went wrong with him we are still raw 2 yrs on from this so don't tell me to set him free or forgive you are not living my life or in my shoes until you are and have walked a mile in them only then will i listen to you!!Tara
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): I am a man, I am married, I have not ever cheated on my wife but I have wanted to. I love her, I fancy her, even after nearly 10 years and yet I want to sleep with other woman, whores, mens wives, strangers. Why?
Simple - lust. Lust is born from temptation, and then lust gives way to thought, then to action and then the sin is deeply commited. I have gotten as far as talking to hookers, emailing them, but not visiting. What stops me? I don't know. But, what I am trying to say is this. We are all weak, and we all sin, your husband, like me is a sexual sinner. Jesus himself said, if you think it you've done it, so if you have ever thought of sleeping with another you are without sin.
Forgive him if you can. Send him to a website called settingcaptivesfree.com and watch him change. If you love this man then you owe it to you both to see if he can repent and change and if you can then move on together. He has to admit his fault, see it is wrong and seek to change. You may think I am a religious nut, but no, I am a sinner, who keeps falling, but God can and will help us all. Just seek him.
Be strong, and may God be with you both.
Tara - please either forgive him or set him free. Public ridicule will not make him change, what it may do is make him and others turn on you. You deserve to be upset, but don't forget this. He is still your husband and he's hurting too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): Hi,
I too like you have a husband who used whores nasty disgusting pieces of shit they are and he came to me looking for his weekly sex too now firstly he is a sex addict make no bones about that he needs help asap! You both need to go get checked for std's and Hiv asap.
Then if you decide you want him to change and stay and work this out you go to Relate for couple counselling then he has to get an appt for a sex therapist to work out his issues with whores.
Do not take this personally i did and it nearly killed me thay are scumbags whores they open their legs for money i mean what kind of women does that?? Desperate saddo's that's who and yes your hubby is sick and sad too imagine the money he has gone through over the years doing this i have got my hubby at breaking point do what i did threaten to tell everyone he knows his work his friends family etc; then tell him you are not sure whether you can go on living in this life tell him your thinking of suicide! Believe me watch him jerk and beg at the knees when you hit him with this one classic it really is!!Especially if you have kids and he sees his future as a one man band!
You see he like my hubby will have no real consequences if you do decide to make it work as your not going to tell people whilst still with him so just to keep him on his toes threaten him every now and then just till he gets the message believe you me when he gets the shit knocked out him he will come crawling then he is at your disposal!
I know some might say this is cruel but hell look what he has put you through? and you need to have a carot dangling infront of him for the time being till you get plan 2 worked out.
I have got my hubby at the stage he cries like a baby now and yes i do get pleasure out of his pain now although i do come all over sad when he weeps!!!!!!
I don't recommend you do this long term do it till you get satisfied he has learned his lesson and when you see massive changes then you can stop only time will tell with this and believe you me most men crawl when they know all is about to be exposed he won't be so cocky then!!
This is what i have done to test mine yes it can be a bit tricky especially as he could just say fuck this but then whats his alternative EXPOSURE!! You have the upper hand now USE IT WELL AND TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
Mind get your checks done and you take charge of the money phones the lot give him what he needs the way i see it now he had a ball over years spending getting pleasured i will use his money to get the pleasure i need not sexually that's way too morally wrong for me sorry i don't drop my drawers for just any man!! I am unique was a virgin when i married and only had him hell men might be queueing up for me if i wanted!!(only joking) You go for it girl and i wish you all the best give him his just deserts.
Tara.(45)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): Yes joining him is the best option. I know he would be for it if he is a real man, and the whores might be able to teach you a thing or two about pleasing your man.
You might enjoy it too!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Join him! You might enjoy it. Help him to gratify all of his physical desires, and you never know, they might just turn back to you and only you. He's going to them because you ain't giving him what he needs. Look in the mirror and make the changes necessary to get him to want to nail you and not them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Hi,
Firstly how long are you married? If you are long term then i would seriously talk this through get to the reason this started as there is always a reason!
Then get your health checks done him too insist he goes especially if you are staying together and still having sex i urge you please get checked asap.
My husband was using prostitutes for 6 yrs behind my back and coming home to me having sex too although always used a condom with them! as you can imagine when you hear those words AIDS i was ill until i got my all clear and him too now in the begining i was like the other aunts i told him to get out i wanted a divorce it was not even up for discusion he was paying for sex with whores OUT! That was my reaction to it here we are 8 months on still together trying to work through this it has not been easy let me tell you if you decide to work on this be prepared for a rough ride!
We have been to Relate i have counselling one to one we are attending a new couple counselling and he is attending a sex therapist.
It has to be talked out right from when it began what caused it? what reasons is he given? Why has he stayed with you throughout it? so many questions here have to be asked and until you do that only you will know what to do i can only advice if he has been using a joint account to pay then tell him it stops now! you take charge of all the money get his phone itemised and check the bill every month for suspect numbers! you really have to treat this as an addiction he has thats what it is he is a sex addict using prostitutes stems from something further back in his life so delve and find out what and why?
I can only sympathise with your predicament there is nothing worse in this world to have your life turned upside down by this addiction and yes you do take it personally i do hope you can talk this through and if you can forgive maybe not right away but in time and he is sincere enough to stop and hand all the reins to you and devotes the rest of his life to you to make it all up to you then maybe you will give him a chance only you will know this no one else.
Yes i hear the others say no way sling him to the kerb but unless you have had this done to you only then do you feel what they don't! and that has deep meaningful consequences to so many things that you will have to decide whether or not you want to move on from this or move away?
I do hope you can sort this out and if you can't there is life after infidelity ask any woman who has walked away and started a new life elsewhere i decided to stay with him and work this out only you will know what to do here i wish you well and take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, hotstuff +, writes (14 August 2007):
 You deserve a man that is devoted to you especialy since he made a vow to you to have you as the only "one" in his life. I think you should leave him unless you don't mind having a husband that has to pay for others to give him sex and then come home to you and have sex with you too. from my opinion you should leave him or try to talk it out be supportive and help him break his nasty habbit!hope it helped
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (12 August 2007):
 She should realize that she's deserves a husband who is completely loyal to her and let him know what a pig he is. Is your husband doing this behind your back? Confront him! Let him know that you know!
Also, go get checked immediately. Hopefully he has not contracted any diseases and hope to God he hasn't passed any to you!
Don't waste your time with a man who clearly has no respect for you or your marriage. There are plenty of men out there who don't need sexual gratification from strangers and will devote themselves to you entirely.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  + ♥, writes (12 August 2007):
 Hi
She should get out, and fast.
Risk of std's. Lying. Cheating. Its nasty. I would take whats mine & leave him instantly. No sorrys & letting him worm his way back.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): I am sorry that it had to happen to you but things like this happen! get rid of him cause I know I wouldn't want to have sex with a guy who has promised to be mine but is paying others to have sex with him. don't fall for anything he does to get you back. He has no respect for you. sorry to say but you need to dump him and move on.
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 + ♥, writes (12 August 2007):
 Puzzled hit the nail bang on the head. He obviously has no respect for you at all. Get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, puzzled  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 confront him straight away! its obvious he dont love you and using you. dont let men think your a walk over because you NOT! dump immediatly! and start fresh. There are plenty fish in the sea xxx
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