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What do I do now that he isn't showing any interest?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2008)
A female United Kingdom, *ticky_fun writes:

Ok, an update of my situation...

I dumped my boyfriend a week after our 10 month anniversary. Everythings fine there now. I persued guy #2. (Mightve mentioned this already but) we met up while i was still with my boyfriend and we ended up kissing, and then again when id split from my boyfriend. We'd discussed sex beforehand and were all set to do it because we both wanted to so why not? Then i came on my period the day before (bummer) and so i said lets leave it (cos he doesnt like to do it whilst the girls on her period). I went to his, we watched movies and had a great time. We did end up having sex in the morning, but sadly only quickly before i left so it wasnt very special.

Then i went away for a week and he didnt call or text me at all, even though i sent him the odd text or two. I didnt even get a drunken phonecall in the middle of the night. Then when i got home he had a free house all week so he had all his friends round every day so didnt talk. Now its been 2 weeks since his parents have been home and hes still being distant. Hes also not going to my collegs anymore, and we live over an hour away from eachother. I came out and asked him if anything was going to happen between us, and he said it could bit its going to be hard and he needs to think. Ive told him how i feel; i really like him, but id rather he told me the truth and hurt me, than lie and have me think everythings going ok.

So now i wait. And i think i know what he will say. He wont want to commit himself to someone who he wont see much.

So there you go. But now im worried as to why he was being distant with me in the first place. Was i bad in bed? Admittedly he had to tell me what to do a little bit as me and my ex hadnt really been experienced. Or has he just lost interest? Now that im available he doesnt want me anymore?

I dont know, and its really cutting me up. Im waiting for his decision and its hell. Suggest why he started being distant? xxx

View related questions: anniversary, drunk, kissing, my ex, period, text

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (8 September 2008):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntIt seems that at one point you were both attracted and interested. However you probably were having problems with your b/f at the time so you ventured out a bit with the other guy. This is actually never a good idea. It is considered CHEATING! You must also consider things left unsaid. You were probably seeking attention because of some issue(s) that you and your b/f had at the time. The new guy might have wanted one thing or perhaps he just doesn't want a serious committment of any kind.(Committment Phobia) Something else to consider is that he really isn't that into you.

Guys can be distant for many reasons. Put your mind on something else and don't worry to much on him. Pay closer attention to your feelings rather than his. Don't chase him. If he is interested he will call again. If not you will probably be better off for it. It does sound like his needing to think on things could be a stall tactic to keep you on a string. He isn't willing to give anything so don't waste your time on persuing the relationship. If it's to happen let him initiate but stand your grounds and don't allow him to use or control you. Espeically NO SEX until you know where you really stand.

You mentioned that things are ok now between you and your ex. He might be the one for you. Let your heart guide you but be wise. Listen to your own words when you said (not a direct quote)*we talked about it and both wanted it ...then Mother Nature stepped in and crashed the party! Remember that God works in mysterious ways. Ask him to intervene and help you to let go of the other guy or to stay with the one you are with. Best wishes.

God bless,

Blue_Angel

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A female reader, babybiy Canada +, writes (5 September 2008):

babybiy agony auntmaybe he was just in for the sex.

anyways if he did love you h wouldnt need time to "think" about it.

i say dump him before he dumps you.

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