A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure but i'm thinking me and this girl are getting along, but i feel worried because my parents house is terrible. They really don't care about the state of the place and it is trully awful! obviously i love them but i don't know what this girl is gonna think if i show her. I would move out but can't afford it at the moment. Do you think this will put her off me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): Assuming you have your own room make this an absolute palace. That way she will realise you are not the same as your parents living in a pig sty. Warn her in advance. One other tip is just make sure you take charge of hygiene in bathroom or kitchen before she arrives and tell her you have done this - again it could turn things around so that you actually look good amongst it all. My boyfriend lived with his Dad and his house was hideous. I was only going around there for a couple of hours but my boyfriend had made his room nice, candles for atmosphere too, and told me if I wanted to use the bathroom he had cleaned it knowing I was coming. I thought that said a lot about how much he cared about me..... though I still thought his Dad was a lazy s*d ! :-)
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (4 September 2008):
 There's an old technique in marketing called "pre-selling the objections". In this case it involves giving your girlfriend plenty of warning about the state of your parents' house, and making sure that she knows that you are very uncomfortable about it, too. Make sure she knows that you are doing everything you can to (a)try to convince your folks to change their ways, and (b)get out as soon as you can and establish yourself on your own, but that neither one is feasible right now.
Be sure that the area YOU control (your room, for example) is absolutely above reproach. Shine it until the floorboards are threatening to give way because they are so thin from all the rubbing you've done. Put everything away and keep it that way. Clean, clean, clean.
Once those basics are taken care or, it's time for the acid test. You know that it's going to have to happen sooner or later, so it's time for her to meet the folks. And even worse, the folks' house. Keep on pre-selling the idea that you are NOT responsible and that you're doing everything you can to change this, right up until you walk in the door and have to put on that happy family face. And plan to make the visit a brief one. DON'T, for heaven's sake, plan on staying for dinner!
If she loves you, she'll understand and sympathize.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): As embarrasing as it may seem, it is very common. Show her that you care about the place you live in by keeping your room very tidy and presentable. Talk to her about this, after all if you like her, then be honest and just say 'im a little embarrased about a certain situation concerning home'. I'm pretty sure she will understand. Perhaps offer to clean or tidy up your parents house before she comes round? but just make sure that you show her that you care and keep your personal space tidy. its not really anything to be embarrased about because its not your house, and therefor you dont have to be responsible for the way it is kept-and im sure your girl will understand.
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