A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:hello, right now I am very annoyed and upset and confused!my boyfriend and I recently had a break up however we did make up,This is the brief story of what happend. I caught my boyfriend sending messages to lots of girls in a flirty way. I was not to happy about that.Thenwhen I started talking to a boy who talks to me often, but there was no flirting, just talking, then my boyfriend made it known that he does not like me talking to that other boy.My boyfriend told me to go to bed.When I refused my boyfriend was very verbally abusive to me. And he said horrible things to me.So I broke up with him and for me that was that.During our relationship my boyfriend bought me a lot of present and one was a coat. But for me i feel like to get over somone i need to get rid of all memories of them so i met him and gave him everything he had given me as presents.But he only wanted the coat back tho so he took it, and i took everything else back home and hid it behind my wardrobe, its all still there. This is where the problem is because i gave him the coat back he said i couldnt go to his place anymore.Now we have made up and are happy again.But now his dad is making it hard.His father told my boyfriend that my bf needed to go home first and i was going to go with him but his dad said not. Then my Bf's Dad said he couldn't go home if i was there. His Dad was like "what are you doing" in a really snappy voice.My bf has been as my house many times before. Thing is im the one who got hurt im the one who did nothing wrong and im the one who's being punishedmy mum and dad are skill fine with him. What do i do ?So why would his dad/family act like this when ive done nothing wrong? and what should i do about it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (6 August 2012):
To be honest there’s not much you can do apart from keep your dignity and be polite to his father. If you give him every cause to like you, you’ll make his behaviour look more unreasonable and expose the unacceptable way he’s treating you. Was it only one occasion he was snappy like this though or is he regularly unpleasant and rude about you? Make sure you’re not just being oversensitive. But if there is a problem, it’s down to your boyfriend to speak with his father about how his girlfriend is being treated and he should raise concerns. If you really think his dad doesn’t like you, speak to your boyfriend about it and perhaps ask if he could bring it up with his dad. Did his father know the full story behind the breakup? Although you’ve patched things up, it may be that he got the wrong impression of what caused the breakup in the first place. Was your boyfriend honest with his father about his own part in it? If your boyfriend objected to you talking to this other boy, did he leave his dad with the impression that you were crossing the line with another man? It might be worth finding out, not to rake over the past, but to help everyone move on. His father should accept that you’re together now. As an adult, he should respect his son’s choices.
I wish you all the very best.
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