A
female
age
30-35,
*il-angel182
writes:I'm 16 and my bf is 20, we've been going out for nearly 4 months now and are in love, the only problem is that its long distance. He lives in england and i'm in scotland,we both trust one another completely, he comes up when he can but recently has been finding it very hard with money and work to get up here and has began to become quite depressed. I would go down to his but my mum is refusing to let me as she says she's worried what will happen but she has meet him many times and thinks he nice and i've told her i'm on the pill so she obivously knows we're having sex and he said he will drive up here and then back down to his but she still is saying no. We're both finding this very hard and are worried that it will eventually spilt us apart.Anyone else been in a situation like this or has any advice on how to make this easier for the both of us? Or anyone have any idea how to change my mums mind?
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depressed, long distance, money, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Well, I hope you both get whatever you want out of your break.
Best of luck to you both.
A
female
reader, lil-angel182 +, writes (10 December 2007):
lil-angel182 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thnx for the advice but we actually decided to go on a break the now as he was findin it to hard to keep comin up and not seenin me so we're still talkin and are going to give it another chance after a while
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): hey =]
im in the same situation, only my bf is 18 and he too lives in england while im in scotland
i know how your feeling cause i too doubt mines will last
if theres one word of advice i can give you
its communicate!!
you'll get nowhere if you dont talk about your concerns and by the looks of it if your asking on here, you and your bf might need to talk about your worries and fears .
it'll work out if you do, if you REALLY want it to
and as for your mum, prove to her you can be responsible, the fact that your on the pill also indicates that your taking care of yourself
all the best
x.x.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): i'm the person that wrote the question lol thnx for all ur advice going to try my hardest and be strong and try to make our relationship last thnx for all ur help :)
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (26 November 2007):
I endured a long distance relationship for two years, starting at the age of 16. (It's described in detail on my profile if you'd like to hear more about it).
LD relationships can work, it just takes a lot of effort, patience and determination. I don't believe distance will split you apart if you have those things. It isn't easy though; absence makes the heart grow fonder, and over time, you will want to see eachother at times where it won't be possible. These are tests, and if you can pass these, then you have a chance. Be brave, and be strong. If you are then you can endure.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (26 November 2007):
There alot of us in a LD relationships and i can assure you it's never been easy.Just hang on you'll manage.There are 3 things that'll cement your relationship;Communication,Trust and Love. Try to get in touch as often as you can and use whatever medium you can use.Sometimes what makes such relationships to fail is a lack of trust.I'm sure you do get thoughts creeping into your brain of him fooling around.The moment you take such thoughts seriously will be the beginning of trouble.Trust him until he disappoints you.In short don't have a reason to distrust him but always believe he's doin what's best for you two.The most powerful is love.If you truly love him,you'll wait for as long as possible and you'll never ever stop believing even for a moment.As for your mum,i think she's worried about your emotion more than your sexuality.Sometimes men act strange and you may find yourself on the losing side.Can you handle being disappointed by him,after even taking the time and resources to follow him wherever he may be?Don't go there as often as your heart tells you.Practise caution and endurance.All the best
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (26 November 2007):
 i went out with a boy who was in the army. we were so in love and he was sent to Iraq. i didnt see him once in 11 months. it was sooo hard but we stayed together. it can work you just need to stay in touch a lot and tell each other everything to make up for not being in each others day to day lives. tell him how your day was, what you're up to, what you're gonna have for tea...everything like that to make him feel like hes right there and an active part of your life.
and remember, its him you love. its who he is not where he is
brooke
xx
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A
female
reader, charli 1603 +, writes (25 November 2007):
 ok, well technically speaking, your 16 now, so ur mum should give you the responsibility of making you own mistakes in life. she can't wrap you in bubblepaper forever. and i don't think you should be worried, let your relationship run its course. if it becomes difficult, dont give up. no relationship is perfect, as they all have thier little snags.
take care, and keep your chin up, it will all work out
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A
female
reader, Saz +, writes (25 November 2007):
I think that your mum has every right to be concerned for you.
Give it time, you both have to gain her trust.
If it is meant to be between you and your boyfriend then it will all work out.
Some long distance relationships do work out but also remember you are still young so don't try rushing or pushing things with him or your mum.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): If you love each other enough... you'll get by.
Try not to be too angry with your mother, she's just trying to protect you from any harm.
I mean at 16, you're still just her little girl.
I think the best thing you can do is prove your responsibility to her, prove that you can survive on your own and that this man, however much she likes him, can be trusted.
Other than that... you'll just have to wait it out if thats what you want.
Flynn 24
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