A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After a 6-year wait for a possible relationship, 3 months ago I finally got a reply from the advert I placed on Match.com, one thing I liked that she mentioned in her profile was B movies (and her advert seemed a little keen:it said: if you think you have what it takes, I'd like to meet you and see how it goes). I mentioned this to her, not expecting a reply, but I got one. What surprised me a bit is she listed herself as Currently Separated, but I carried on messaging and she carried on replying, All of a sudden she stopped replying; I worry too much and sent her multiple messages in a row She eventually replied, saying she was staying with her mum a few days. I was honest with her and told her that I have cerebral palsy, which she did not mind. She then sent me a message saying it's her turn to be honest, that she still lives with her husband! I thought ok then, was a bit skeptical, but carried on.She then added me to Twitter, and I started posting on her feed, she asked me not to post publicly 'because I (she) am still technically married'. I thought ok then, she asked me if we could use DM (Direct Message).Again, the worrier in me came out, and she ended up telling me I was too intense for her and she can't do this, and one thing she didn't tell me - she is going through a messy divorce!About a week later, I sent her an email explaining how she could text me whenever she likes, I would be there for her, and gave her my number, not expecting her to text me, but 5 minutes later she did.I talked to my friends in the time when we were texting, telling them about the situation, and they said I shouldn't really get involved at the moment.Despite that we texted, she said that, when she said I was too intense for her, she meant at that moment. She didn't reply to my texts for a day, I phoned her, left her a message, saying I was sorry for texting her too much, and could we give it another go - she said 'Im sorry, but I'm messed up right now.'Yesterday morning, I texted her this poem, which I made up myself:I know you're going through a lot at the moment and that I sent you too many texts and for that I am truly sorry but I'd like to hear what I have to say next. I've promised I wouldn't before but this time it will be true because there is a girl I feel is very special and that, my dear, is you.I am prepared to wait for you however long it takes If I slip up again You can poison me with your cakes. So, the lovely Lauren Please give me another go know it isn't Christmas yet but if you say yes, I'll say ho ho ho!She still said it's too much!What shall I do now? Shall I wait until the divorce is over? Text in a month or so?Advice will be greatly appreciated.Thankyou.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): I think it is time for you to change your match.com advert.
She is still married. You might be desperate for a relationship, but you deserve to be more than a married woman's dirty secret!
Let her go. Change your advert.
Does your cerebral palsy prevent you from having outings? Could you maybe qualify for a therapy animal like a dog that you could take to a dog park and meet women there?
I think you are going about this whole finding a relationship thing the wrong way.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 You've asked before about this I think...
I think it's time to let this one go and move on.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 She is still living with her husband, I think she is still married and has no intention of being otherwise, and that yes, you are too tense.
You have never, ever met the woman and already you are writing her love poems declaring you will wait for her, OMG she said you were too intense so you PHONED her??
Back off. If she IS going through a messy divorce she doesn't need you in amongst it muddying the waters, and if she is, as I suspect, still married with no intention of divorce you need to back off even more.
Your friends gave you good advise. Why didn't you listen to them?
This whole situations looks and smells bad!
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