A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now,we are exclusive and it was love for him from the very start and he has expressed quite a number of times both thru words and actions how he feels for me,I haven't told him those three 'magic words' yet,I know I will,cuz I haven't felt that connection with anyone but him..He tells me everything about himself,but I still haven't opened up to him..I'm not close to my older sister cuz she had an affair with a married man,I'm not sure if I should tell my boyfriend about this,is it too soon..I sometimes think he should know about this,cuz he is an important part of my life right now,but sometimes I think I'm just hurrying!I told him 3 days ago,there is something I want to tell you about me when I meet you(we r in an ldr now)he will come to see me in 2 weeks,do you think I should tell him then?or is it too soon?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): I'm confused as to why you think he needs to know this at all? You told him you have to tell him something about yourself, but this 'secret' isn't actually about you at all. Your sister made her own mistake and will have to live with the consequences of it whatever they may be. It is her business and has no relation to you, this man or your relationship with him.
A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 Why would you tell a stranger about something private that's none of your business, let alone his? Because after one month that's what he is - a stranger. You are entitled to have an opinion on what your sister did but I don't think you're entitled to go around telling people. What she did wasn't right, but surely you have also done things you are ashamed of. How would you feel about your sister blabbing those things to a new guy she met? Don't tell him. Keep that to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 I agree with the others in that you are moving way too quickly here. One month is not nearly long enough to declare love and share personal details about oneself.
People who rush intimacy, tend to get hurt more easily and lose interest much sooner so slow down.
Sharing things about yourself is one thing, but sharing other people's personal details is another. That's crossing a line. Your sister's affair is her business, not yours and certainly not your friend's. And you don't hang your family out to dry for some outsider. Don't ever tell him or anyone else about it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 Why does your sister's behavior have any bearing on your relationship?
why is what your sister did something about YOU?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): It's too soon OP, and you're getting carried away. Time to relax and slow this down a bit. How you feel doesn't mean be stupid and just throw all sense out the window. Every relationship I've had felt so perfect and so right but you really can't just trust a person you only know a month with every important detail of your life and all your secrets it's way too soon for that.
It doesn't matter how in love you feel, one month is not long enough to know whether you can trust him or not. Do you tell everyone you know only a month all your secrets? Why not? You think love changes that dynamic? No it doesn't.
Being in love doesn't mean you should 100% trust a person you only know 4 weeks, if anything you need to be more careful because your judgement is clouded by the wonder of it all.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 That's weird. You have been talking since 4 measly weeks to a guy that you haven't even seen yet - and you want to blabber out to him the story of your sister's love life , which is absolutely none of his business anyway at the current stage, and it would still not be any of his business ven even if you were married ( although of course with a husband it feels more comfortable and natural being open about everything including your family's dirty laundry ).
I struggle seeing how you can think this is a good idea - and btw, have you first asked your SISTER if she is Ok having her intimate life's details shared with someone she does not even know ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): You've never met this guy.
You have been texting for 4 weeks.
If you've been texting / talking for an average of 6 hours a week that means you've known him for 24 hours.
Not to put a damper on things but do you know each other well enough to say you love each other?
You are definitely rushing things.
As for your sister - it's none of his business who your sister dates. Your relationship with your sister and all its complexities is none of his business until you're considering introducing him to your family.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 I dont think what your sister did is relevant to yor relationship. I personally would not mention it as its not right to wash other people dirty laundry in public, be it your sister.
People make mistakes we all do, but we dont have to tell it to anyone even if its your BF. This is not your secret but your sister's secret. How would you feel if she did the same to you.
Assume you break uup with this guy, so will you tell the next guy that comes along? Remember every family have dirty laundry and secrets and its up to teh people that come in our life not to judge us by their standards. Its up to you , how much you value your relationship with your sister as this will hurt her.
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