A
male
age
51-59,
*061sarahs
writes:HiI’m getting so fed up of my wife. Over the years she’s accused me of affairs, routed thru my phone and laptop, accuses me of the most ludicrous things, shouts and screams unnecessary. I cant talk to her cos I know she’ll raise her voice.And now, she’s topped it all off with hiding vodka bottles. She thinks that I don’t know, but I started to suspect when we had a chat one night about drinking vodka on top of the pills that she takes. Fluoxetin, naproxen, paracetamol, co-codamol, for many things. She gets up in a morning and says she’s tired. Then at night time all I hear is I nearly fell asleep when driving.I’ve not said anything yet to her about what I know, I know where she hides them and how. I don’t know how to put it across to her cos I am just so annoyed with this. I can’t be affectionate nor can I suggest that we do something together. It feels like all the love is lost. I know when she’s got a new bottle and about to poor a drink as she suddenly becomes interested in what I’m doing. It’s a dead give away. I’m just so peed off knowing that if I tell her what I know, that’s it. Another row.I’m no angel, I admit that, but if I know stuff, seen things, whatever, I’ll stick with hard facts, not hear say and assumptions.I’ve spoken to my doc and they told me what I suspect about the affects.the other danger is the finance side. I know that she’s buying the stuff with a visa card, average £40 to £70 a month. We haven’t got much money between us. The visa card was for emergencies, petrol, unexpected bills, etc…not to finance her “treats”. I am long term sick at the moment and I understand that she deserves the odd treat, but to use our visa card without saying anything really gets my back up.just today she was saying we have enough til payday for petrol and food, and low and behold, another bottle of vodka. And yes, I have been in her purse and found visa receipts.My own feeling now is to go, but I have nowhere to go to. Also I am long term sick receiving disability benefit, and yes, she deserves things, but to do it this way. Eventually the debt will catch up and we will be stuck cos I know theres things on the card that shouldn't be.Regards
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affair, debt, money, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 1061sarahs +, writes (12 April 2014):
1061sarahs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much to all you guys that replied. You've given me many "avenues of thought". I don't know which way to go but the advice is there and will be used.
Thanks again for taking time out to reply.
all the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014): She's got issues man. Seems like she doesn't respect you too.you guys needs councelling then you can say you tried when you decide to call it quits...hope you will find a solution to your problem.you need someone to be there for you not add to your stress and you're sick too.make a plan quick about the visa card.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 April 2014):
 I agree with Caring Guy - CALL and get LEGAL advice.
As for the Visa, who's name is it in? If it's YOURS and from YOUR income cancel it.
Look into council flats/housing for you when you leave.
But be aware that any debt incurred while married might be on BOTH of you (maybe even JUST you) when divorcing her, so MAKE sure you have an idea of what she is spending money on, how much and who's name the Visa is in.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 April 2014):
I would defintely speak to a solicitor (use the phone, they will often offer free advice over the phone for 15-30 mins in the UK), the Citizen's Advice Bureau (they offer free advice) and also the bank or credit card company who may be able to advise over your financial situation in terms of credit card debt etc.
Also, if you are long term sick, speak to the Citizen's advice bureau and perhaps also the benefits office. They may be able to help too.
Do as much research and work now as you can, and set up as much as you can before you leave. Then, based upon what you have written, I would say leave and get away from her. She has some serious issues that she clearly won't deal with, and there's no way that I would stay with someone like that.
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