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Am I bi-curious or just curious?? Am I gay??

Tagged as: Crushes, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2014)
A age 26-29, * writes:

First I would like to address that I'm not attracted to any woman but my friend, I've become curious about. In the beginning of this year, I though she was gay, lesbian. Mainly because she wears boyish clothing, she has a monotonic voice. She never dresses girly unless she has to and does what's only required(no make up) , nothing more. She has like lazy eyes,never really opened wide or whatever. Also , she doesn't like to be touched haha. She gets extremely grossed out when my teacher who are married make sexual jokes haha.(were in college) Also she talks like a guy, not just the tone of her voice bit what's she says. She has a dude-ish walk.

Ok. What made me interested in her more that usual was because she, my guy friend and I went to Best Buy. Me and him got out of the car and she was the last one so I turned around to see where she was and in that process, my hand hit the part of her thigh very close to her private area. It wasn't the back side of my hand, it was the inside so I felt it. She didn't freak or make a big deal out of it. I just pretend ed that it didn't happen and btw, I was pretty turned on by it. Usually, I don't get turned on by awkward situations like that. I don't know what it was.

So we walked in the store and she seemed to be ok and so I decided to give her space so that it wouldn't be awkward. So i walk to the speaker section and and she came over too and instead of looking at other speakers, she would look at the ones close to me. Basically we would be standing kind of close. She would crack a few jokes. I'd laugh. Some reason I wasnervous trying not to say anything dumb around her. I felt like she liked me because she usually does her own thing. She seemed a little nervous around me too.

Skipping forward... Me and a guy friend were eating lunch and we invited he to come. She came with her two of her best friends. So she was talking to my guy friend and the whole time she was making extreme eye contact with me. I couldnt handle it lol. She doesn't really make that much eye contact with me until that time. Maybe it was me being a weirdo..idk. So we would still hang out with my guy friend and play . Btw we're both drummers. One day were just playing around and he was playing something cool and were like teach it to us...so he taught it to us and we got it down to a point to were we could run it a few times. Funny thing though, she would just freak out every time she'd mess up but like in a funny way though haha. Then every time my guy friend would want to play something else, she would take up for me and be like "let her play with us" and she would also be like I can't wait for Sydney to be on the snare line next year! I don't know if I'm reading to far into this but I think she may have a crush on me. Oh yeah! She used to be kind of jerkish but now she's really nice to me..so yeah idk.

View related questions: best friend, crush, lesbian, my teacher

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm pretty sure she boob grazed me on purpose. Here's what happened..

I was sitting between her and another friend in chapel(naughty right?). I had my backpack in my lap and my jacket lying on top. She sat to the right of me and the other girl sat on the left. Let's call my crush Skylar and the girl to my left Whitney. Skylar asked Whitney for my her for phone. She reached across when in fact she could have waited. While reaching across she boon grazed me. In fact it wasn't even a light graze. I would know the difference because I did it to someone by accident! She may have tried to cop a feel for all I know. I think she did do it purposefully because Whitney look kind of confused and slightly shocked at what was going on. When Whitney reached to get her phone back she put her phone on my lap far away from me hence that Skylar may have done it on purpose. I don't know.. Was that an act of flirting? I think it was.

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A female reader, misLadYd.. South Africa +, writes (20 April 2014):

misLadYd.. agony auntall the signs are there that she wants to try something with you. I say go for it,flirt and do whatever you guys wanna experiment with..it could be fun.it will be fun i know because ive experimented with a girl before..four times but i knew i wasnt gay or bi..i just wanted to know how id feel,how it would feel..it got me confused thou,at one point i thought i was bi but the fun ended when she moved away.anyways just get on with the flirting and see how you both will feel, take care.i hope i helped.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok. I think she has liked me long before I ever noticed. Now that Im showing her subtlety that I'm interested, I think that she's reciprocating a little. *Just to let you know that neither of us have the intention of trying to come out as bi or gay, I think we may want to experiment.*

Ok so I will remind you that she DOESN'T like to be touched and on several occasions she allowed me to with out freaking out.

-The first incident was when we were walking to a store. I didn't know that she was right behind me.I turn around and my hand kind of groped her upper thigh. She didn't say a word and neither did I.

-She just got her hair done and it looked beautiful..so I had to touch it. She allowed me to. Whilst doing so, I got away with caressing her neck while pulling her to her back. I hope I sent chills down her spine. She said nothing! ( If someone did that to me and I felt a little creeped out , I would have gotten up immediately).

-we were sitting by each other. Actually I came and sat by her. I tried so hard to get really close to her when I could. When I did she didn't move away except once. When she moved away I did too and then she move closer to me. Then I bed back closer to her and she didn't move away again.

-while sitting by her a second time, I managed to get our arms to touch for more than 5sec without her freaking out haha.

-She laughs at all the dumb things I say

-her face lights up when talking to me and she raises her brows too.

-She responds quickly to my text

What is the next step I should take in flirting? Or just a next step if not flirting?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2014):

She will stare at you in a very inviting way..or let you touch her without her complaining..these are just minor signs that she maybe interested..I mean if you also try to kiss her and she doesn't freak out then it only means that she wanted to kiss you a long time but couldn't because she was maybe shy or scared..just thinkin..I've kissed girls before.I'm straight and not into girls.I was just confused back then..simple things will show you that she's into you.I hope I helped.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2014):

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What are some some signs that you know of that may show that she's interested? I don't want to try do anything unless she shows that she might be interested.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014):

The only way to find out if she's got a crush on you,is if you break all the akwardness and ask her lol.who knows?if you're friends and you hang out often then you will definitely have your answer. or you could try to kiss her and see if she will react to that..i thought I was a bi at one point,because I made out with a lesbian.got me confused big time.we did a lot of things together but still I knew it would work out because I like guys not chicks.I'm in love with a guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Another note, she recently stopped dating this guy for no reason at all. He didn't pressure her in to anything she didn't want to do and they had a lot in common. What she said was that she thought they dated for longer than they wanted to..idk. She also said in a jokingly way that she has commitment issues haha. I don't get it. She said that she has dated many great guys in the past but she just doesn't want to commit. Now, I don't think it's a deeper issue. She has great supportive parents. She never complains about them; she has a loving family. Honestly, I think she may want to "try" something else before she decides to settle down with a guy. I'm not really sure.

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