A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone.I have a long distance relationship. She is over 30, divorced, have a child with her and I am 5 years younger.It has been 1 year and we fight a lot. It has been 1 week we didn't contact each other. Out of blue, she called me. We have great conversation and all my feelings for her come back again.It is a surprise to know her calling. She hasn't call for months. When I told her I am free to chat with her anytime, she says calling card not working etc.She also told me she tried many different calling cards and doesn't work. Well, she used to call me often using those and all of sudden it is not working? Because of that, I showed insecurity over times. She always get furious whenever I ask her. I don't know other, I will be happy if my gf shows insecurity, not the over one of course, because it implies she cares about the relationship and I feel it is cute.Recently, she post messages in social network, saying she is single, how bad I am and I am never her bf. She told me before that she has several online relationship before. They talk about sex, marriage etc but she told me she doesn't consider those her x bf. And because of that too, I get worry when she is over friendly in social network especially with guys who live near her.I tried to reach her through phone. Been calling few times during her days off. She doesn't answer nor return the call. I email her, no reply too.I know I am a bit over worry because if we are meant to be together, she will still be there.What should I do? Thanks
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divorce, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): I am the one asking the question.First of all, thank you everyone.I talked to my friends about this. They said almost the same thing that she no longer into me anymore.There was one day I called her around 11pm. I am sure she isn't bed yet because she is posting messages in social network.I prefer talking to her than using messenger because she always ignore me in there.She answered and yell at me. She said she was sleeping and even though her phone is silent, the vibration shake the whole house, waking everyone up.She is the one yelling and that is what waking everyone else. I don't understand her, she can choose not to answer like she always do. Maybe, it is fun for her to have a guy pay the bill for her to yell at.There are a lot more nonsense things from her. It really hurts my feeling but I take it, assuming she is too stress with work.Fair or not, I don't actually care because I know love could never be equal. There is nothing wrong if I treat her better than what I get as long as we still have each other.But, it is true. I deserve a person who can make a little step forward.Before asking in here and telling my friends, I know what is the right things to do. Sadly enough, saying is always easier than doing it.May the time take me out from the misery.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 talk to her tell her how it's making you feel.
or better yet end it with her! she clearly isn't committed to you. i mean she's on these sites pretending to be single saying you're not her boyfriend because you don't act like it why put up with all that when you're just trying to contact her but she makes NO effort what so ever? it's unfair on you!!!
you can do so much better than this. that's one of the main problems with long distance relationships you never know what the other is actually doing or who they are actually with.
Anyways i think you're better off ending this relationship it's unfair on you and why should you keep something going if she clearly isn't making an effort?
hope this helps hun.
x x x x x
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Uh you are answering your own questions. Social Networks are Relationship Killers. Also online relationships and long distance ones have to be flush with trust, communication and understanding in order to have a chance of working. None of which you have with this woman.To her, you are just another guy that serves your purpose for her emotional needs, and can turn you on and off at any time she likes when she turns her computer on and off. This is fairly common on social sites and you are not the first one who has experienced this,. nor will you be the last.She changed her status on her social page becuase she is not your girlfriend, never was and never will be. It makes it more difficult to talk to other guys about sex and those kind of things if she has her status set to anything but single.You are living in internet fantasy landYou are in love with the feelings you get from her...not her!You are young...get out into the real world and leave the net behind for awhile. Block her, delete her, and make her insignificant. She is playing you for a sucker.
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