A
male
age
51-59,
*evinmont
writes:I have been married for eight years now, recently my wife found this guy at work, she felt sorry for him, so she moves him into our apartment, so he can heal from an operation on his shoulder. Well let me back up, before he moved in he was staying at a motel, she went over there several times even spent the night with him, he would sleep nude in fact, he walked around the apartment nude when she was there, they slept in the same bed together, she tells me the next day that nothing happened except giving him a hand job. He of course sucked on her breasts and played with her other private part trying to get her to have sex with him. Now she tells me that the two of them want to have sex together, and that she feels everything that has happened so far including sucking in on his nipples while he does himself is OK and that she has done nothing wrong (this is OK because she didn't look at his private part according to her)This is her second boyfriend, the 1st was just sexual talking on the phone while in the tub,So is this cheating even thought no real intercourse has taken place? Please let me know what you think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Ofcourse this is not OK. Especially if you have not made upo this idea together, after some thourough thought about possible consequencies, like jealousy, impotence from jealousy etc...
Every serious emotional or sexual act, depending on the content might be also in thoughts about other men, is a kind of choise to complete, or substitute your parter is a sign of something not working alright... Most is it so if it is done insecret. But also if done, especially if it is continouse, or as to show/tell about it to an unwanting partner...
A
female
reader, Proxy  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 WOW... Are you really that blind?
WOW...
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (17 August 2010):
 If you think it's ok then I guess it's not cheating. I mean the man is staying in your home and you knew all of this stuff happened... so I guess you like sharing her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): This is cheating. If she is your wife, she is only suppose to allow you to provide her with the pleasure of love making. Giving another man any pleasure is cheating . She had to touch him to give him a hand job. Therefore , I consider it cheating. I would never do this to my husband ever!
Should he do this to me; our relationship would be over with.
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A
female
reader, kahlan +, writes (17 August 2010):
 I totally agree with mattnette and would ask her how she would feel if the tables are turned.
Also as chippy2 says, Are you willing to share her?Perhaps have an open relationship.
Or are you just frightened of losing her if you rock the boat? If thats the case, you really need to try and get the courage to throw out especially him, but your wife as well. I'm sorry i don't believe they haven't had full intercourse, and even if he they haven't, they might as well have. Its still sex. If he's well enough to have foreplay with tour wife, he's well enough to go home.
Personally, if my parter did that to me, he'd be singing suprano for a long while, all his clothes would be thrown out my 1st floor flat window lying on the pavement outside- with him following them the same way!
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A
male
reader, supersuper +, writes (16 August 2010):
 Dude. You are a mega pushover if you don't kick that guy out and put your wife in her place. It's your relationship, why are you letting this douche bag in on it without a complaint?
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 No, This is just Fucking.
Wait! @%#$!!!
Isn't that cheating?
I'm so confused.
Perhaps you are confused too?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold
*sigh*...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Where do I find a man like you? I need one to go with the cake that sits in my fridge but also allows me to eat it without running out..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): I feel incredibly sorry for you matey. Your wife thinks you are a total fool and treats you accordingly, and unfortunately she is right.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Good God man! Have you no boundaries? Have you no limits? Have you no pride?
You are being played to the hilt big time! She has no respect for you or your sham of a marriage. Turn her loose- she's playing the field anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): of corse that is cheating! no offence to your wife and all- but how could she be so shallow! that is defo cheating!!! ..............im shocked anyone WOULDNT call that cheating! jeez! :/
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): This is the second boyfriend, and this one you have let stay at your home? Now she is telling you they want to have sex. How far you going to let her go, before you decide yourself that she is cheating. It's time you stopped letting her walk all over you, and stand up for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (15 August 2010):
 CHEATING
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Well, I would call it cheating if I was married, but your mileage may vary. I mean I'd be the first to help out a guy in need with a friendly handjob, but I'd definitely ask my significant other (if I had one) first.
Are you sure you don't actually like the idea?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Its cheating - c'mon - where are your boundaries?Where is your self respect??? Work it out and wise up. She is taking you for a fool - I would call her bluff and say "sure go right ahead and have sex with him, I'm leaving you anyway - good luck".
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A
male
reader, mattnette  +, writes (15 August 2010):
Ask your wife, how about if you are the one who brought in another woman into your apartment and did the same thing..what would she think???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): I agree with quiet-echo, sounds like your wifes' actions may be tantalizing you, not insulting you.
I would call this cheating. But maybe you both find this acceptable.
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A
male
reader, JamesBM +, writes (15 August 2010):
My dear friend, did she bang your head with a pan or what?!
Are you outa your mind!? She sees a guy sure, talks with him, sure they can be friends, but stays at his place, and a night together. 1st Warning!!
HE'S AT YOUR HOME! WTF!!?!?
AND ALL THAT SHIT GOING ON!
Dude it's not only your wife's fault, it's yours for being so... I ain't gonna say stupid, but she's controlling you, I ain't saying control her, but damn let her have some respect for herself, and you Dear friend.
HAVE SOME PRIDE!
Good luck either way.
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (15 August 2010):
This is CHEATING! And now she has moved him into your apartment?
Do you and your wife have sex? Are things ok with your relationship?
Do you find this upsetting to you or are you willing to share her? I mean I guess there are some couples who have open relationships.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 August 2010):
 I'm pretty sure she's just trying to justify what she did. In my opinion, it definitely was cheating! In fact, it sounds like she has no concern whatsoever about your feelings. Don't handle this irrationally though, just tell her that it is still cheating and that it hurt you. You shouldn't have to take this kind of strange affair in your own home! Tell her you want that guy out of your house.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): this is cheating.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 August 2010):
 'Cheating'
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