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... Send kahlan a private message | | | kahlan's profile:I dont pretend to know the answer to everything.All i can give is my advice if i can and my honest opinion.Although im only 33 i,ve been thru a few experiences-bullying,violent relationships,relationships where mind games were played,ive been cheated on and humiliated.Anorexia,bulimia,drugs-soft and hard,forced seperation while my boyfriend has been in prison and ive spent a couple of weeks inside myself.Prostitution,berevment,rehab.Its not all been bad though.Ive been going out with my partner since January 2000 and i love him to pieces.I moved away from my family and friends from one part of Scotland to another and though i miss my family,i still see them often and talk to them nearly everyday.I also have my partners family here and to me they are my family too.I love them i spend time with them often.
I couldnt survive without books.Im ALWAYS reading.Just now im into fantasy-fiction but there are times,when ive read just about everything.I am doing a fictional writing course through the Open University.Id also like to do a refresher English course and then do a higher English course-I only hope Shakesspear isnt involved.
As iv mentioned i live with my partner.We have our problems but then we wouldnt be normal if we didnt.I want a baby badly but cant see me having one now.I do have a wee dog whos just had her 3rd birthday .Half whippet,half terrier of some kind.She is my baby and i love her to bits.
Well thats my account.Dont know if its meant to be so long but i,ll put it in anyway.
Lots of Love,
Kahlan. |
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Wish I could stop flirting!
Q. hey right here goes im 13 and a big flirt i know i am but the thing is that i dont know im flirting and now i hardly have any good mates cause i keep flirting with there boyfriends but my best mate she invited me to go on holiday with her family ...
A. 8 September 2009: I just read Talking heps comment and she does have a point!Whaat do you consider as flirting?
Love Kahlan.... (read in full...)
I'm so guilty that I cheated on my husband. Should I tell him?
Q. A few days ago, I slept with a male friend while my husband was out of town visiting relatives. It only happened, once, i swear, and I did not intend for it to happen. I didn't set out looking to cheat, it's something that just happened. We'd had a ...
A. 8 September 2009: I'd feel the same way.However i wouldn't tell him.Unless you are pretty sure someone will tell him first,in which case,it'd be better coming from you. You didn't make it sound that way though,so the only reason to tell him would be to ease your own... (read in full...)
He says he only went out with her so he could see me
Q. okay so i like this guy to make this simple ill use the names, me, james and kate, well basicly ive been friends with kate for like 11 years, close friends, and a few month back we was out one night and met this guy, james, i was like omg look how ...
A. 4 September 2009: This is a close friend of 11 years your talking about.What kind of guy goes out with someones friend to get close to another girl.If it was my friend i wouldnt go near him cos guys come and go but friends are meant to be there to stay.However,it was ... (read in full...)
My partner sometimes shows no interest and is looking at other women
Q. Iv been with my partner for nearly two years. Sometimes we have such a good time together and really get on! However we have other times when i can get really upset from him either looking at other woman or getting paranoid from his past. Sometimes ...
A. 3 September 2009: No,i dont think you are over reacting.All guys check out other lassies,its natural.My partner does it without even realising he is doing it,But he sounds like a bully and it seems like he doesnt care what you think.Id be worried about the agressive ... (read in full...)
We had an affair, he's divorcing his wife but what will others think of us?
Q. In Jan 2009 I moved across Canada to do my student teaching practicum in a small town. for the most part most of the other tacherswere really nice to me and I made alot of great friends. With in a few months of teaaching I started having an affiar ...
A. 3 September 2009: Im sorry to say you probably will be blamed,especially if he and his wife have been there for years,which isn't fair as it takes two to tango! Hopefully his family will be ok once they see you make him happy. I don't think you are over reacting as ... (read in full...)
After his dad died our relationship totally changed and now we have broken up, but I still hope we will get back together!
Q. Hi,i was going out with my boyfriend for almost a yr and a half when his dad died. this changed everything from the way he looked at life and from the way he acted towards us. he is the nicest person in the world and already in our relationship we ...
A. 2 September 2009: He will be hurting, and maybe just cant cope with a relationship right now.He sounds depressed.You always take it out on those closest to you,so thats probably why you started fighting with each other.If he hasnt been seeing anyone else then its ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have no sex appeal?
Q. Why aren't guys attracted to me? Guys never approach but they are always approaching other women, all types. Is it possible to have NO sex appeal? I could be lacking an inate appeal that women supposedly have. What do men look for?...
A. 1 September 2009: I read this to my partner,and he basically said what i had been thinking.If you think you have no sex appeal and have no confidence in yourself,guys will pick up on that.
You need to start believing in yourself.In Glasgow,Scotland,where im from ther... (read in full...)
We got caught on camera having sex! What should I do now?
Q. omg im so embarressed,my grandparents own this truck stop and i kinda forgot that we had eight cameras that show the whole yard well me and boyfeiend didnt want to get caught so we went under the truck and had sex well now everyone one who works at ...
A. 1 September 2009: OMG-And i thought id been caught in some compomising situations! Theres nothing you can do now,you cant turn the clock back.All you can do is try some damage control.If anyone says anything,try to laugh it off.
Your grandparents are a different stor... (read in full...)
If a girl says 'thank you' after you've been on a date, does it mean it's over? And how do I ask a girl from school out?
Q. [Mod note - two seperate questions were from the same poster, so I have combined both] Q1: im gonna ask this girl out. im 15, shes 16. I know her from school. Ask her out at school? If I do ask her out at school it cant be nothing super huge o...
A. 31 August 2009: Q1.First make sure shes on her own and not with a group of her friends.Just ask her if she fancies going out sometime.If she says yes, i dont know,Is there somewhere quiet and nice where you could take her.Make up a wee picnic or something.I would ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps breaking up with me, and told me he's not in live with me anymore! I know I should let go, but how?
Q. Im really confused and don't know what to do. I'm 19 and ive been going out with my boyfriend for a year now. Last month he broke up with me because he didnt want to be in a relationship, but we got back together, he has done the same thing 4times ...
A. 31 August 2009: You do deserve to be loved, but it isnt going to happen with this guy.You need to be strong and walk away from him.You will find someone,probably when you least expect it.This guy doesnt deserve you.If you stay away from him, the chances are he'll ... (read in full...)
I feel even more insecure about myself after breaking up
Q. I feel very insecure about myself.. ever since my boyfriend broke up with me, I feel like I will never fall in love again. I still see him on the weekends, go for lunch, watch movies, etc. He says hes still in love with me, but due to obstacles and ...
A. 31 August 2009: It sounds like you are depressed.You need to get some confidence,and it isnt helping while you are still hanging around this guy,it seems like you are hoping he will change his mind.But while you wait you wont be able to move forward.And honey, you ... (read in full...)
Best friend has dumped me for boyfriend and I feel lonely
Q. In the space of a month i have lost 2 out of 4 of my best friends. One betrayed me, the other went out with my other best friends boyfriend and is in love with him so has no time for anyone else. I feel like my world has literally been turned u...
A. 24 August 2009: There is no need to feel stupid, if i had lost 1 of my best friends-never mind 2 i'd feel sorry for myself as well.Although it hurts because you will probably miss her, you are well shot of the lassie who betrayed you. With friends like that-who ... (read in full...)
Her ex is like a Calvin Klein model - how can I stop feeling like I can't compete?
Q. Hi there, i've had something on my mind for a few weeks and its eating at me so i thought i'd post on here and get the general consensus... I have recently got a new girlfriend, and it turns out that her most recent ex partner was into bodybuil...
A. 23 August 2009: If your girlfriend was interested in going out with a muscle bound, steriod filled pretty boy she would still be with him.Personally i think that guys who are all muscles look strange.Your g/f probably agrees as she told you he wasnt usually her ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to ask him about seeing other people.
Q. I've been on 3 dates with a fantastic guy..! but how can i bring up the topic of seeing other people..? Its not something i want to do, and want to know if he is in the same level without sounding like im coming on to strong..! Is it to soon to have ...
A. 22 August 2009: I would ask him, I don't think you,d be coming on too strong. Just say you while you are enjoying his company,you realise things might not work out,but when you are seeing someone, you wont be seeing anyone else as you wouldn't be comfortable with ... (read in full...)
I have just found out my boyfriend cheated on me for 8 months!! What shall I say or do now?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend (Daniel) for 16 months (since April 2008). The relationship was quite serious from the start as we had know eachother for a while already, we fell in love quite quickly. Around October 2008 to December 2008, we drifted ...
A. 21 August 2009: If it was me id dump him.He knew about your being hurt in the past and so it makes it worse that he,s done the same to you.If you decide you want to try and work things out,you will both need to talk to each other.He will have alot of making up to ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so bad for wanting to let go of my drug-using ex?
Q. why do i feel so bad for wanting to let go of my ex who has recently begun again to use seriously hardcore drugs within the last month (the entire year plus that i knew him, he didn't do them)...now, he's not really 'here' because they've sucked so ...
A. 21 August 2009: I have been on both sides of this situation, and as you know, there is nothing you can do for him.Only he can sort himself out and it is hard.You have nothing to feel guilty for,although you cant help the way you feel.It's hard but you should stay ... (read in full...)
How do I get her comfortable receiving oral sex?
Q. my gf is not comfortable with receiving oral sex. how do i get her to become comfortable with it?...
A. 21 August 2009: Some people never become comfortable with oral sex,try to get her to relax and dont dive right in(no pun intended).Start by kissing and licking her all over for a while before trying to go down on her.Give her lots of foreplay,but dont stick to the ... (read in full...)
I Just Can't Seem To Understand Her!!!
Q. Hello, to put it this way, I proposed to my Girlfriend, She said no, but she says she still wants to be lovers, I want to take it to a next level, and she's rejecting, we've been dating for 7 years, this isn't the first time I proposed and not the ...
A. 21 August 2009: Perhaps she is happy with the way things are.She is maybe worried incase it would ruin things if you were to be married. Only she can give her reasons. You said you talked to her.What does she mean when she said she,s ready but didnt know?A lot of ... (read in full...)
He wants to sleep with me, but this would threaten my job. What should I do?
Q. im working as a housekeeper. my lady boss told me that her husband is in love with me. i was asked several times already by my male boss if i want to sleep with him which i refused, he didnt force me though. i like my job and dont want to resign. ...
A. 19 August 2009: You need to have a talk with him and tell him how uncomfortable he is making it for you to work in his house.Tell him you wont sleep with him.Hopefully he will get the message and stop hassling you.I think you should start looking for another job ... (read in full...)
Please help me spice my relationship up with some roleplay.
Q. I have been with my partner almost 10 years and its been almost 3 since we've made love.I dont want anyone else-though i have had a couple of offers and i trust my man completly.I want our sex life back,but i dont want to get into a rut-which i ...
A. 19 August 2009: To those that answered, thank you for taking the time to help.There were really good ideas.We dont have a car but it would be an idea to catch the bus or train somewhere private,where there is no one around.The idea of the sexy lingerie,then walking ... (read in full...)
Christians: is it a sin to have sexual feelings?
Q. as a christian,having feelings of sex when growing up,is it sinful?...
A. 19 August 2009: Having sexual feelings is completly natural-especially when puberty hits. Its part of life. It doesnt matter if your a Christian, Mueslim or a Jahovas Witness. It is part of being human. Never feel guilty for having sexual feelings.... (read in full...)
Do you think this dream about pregnancy means something?
Q. I'm fifteen years old, and I'm almost two months pregnant with my first child. I have been planning on getting an Abortion, because the father is a dead beat and I don't have much support other then that. Lastnight I had a dream, I was holding a ...
A. 18 August 2009: The dream is probably your subconcious helping you deal with whats happening.It is a big decision having an abortion,but having a baby would also be a big decision.You are young having to deal with this.You say you dont have much support.Are you ... (read in full...)
Can you live without sexual intimacy in a relationship?
Q. How do I know if my husband sexual problem is medical, or something else? He has ed and low sexal desire, but the DOCTOR NEVER FOUND ANYTHING WRONG. His health is k, so it is not medical so far ,unless they didn't find out why. I would fully exce...
A. 18 August 2009: Part 2.I did try to come on to him but he kept letting me down gently,so now ive stopped trying as it made me feel bad about myself and i felt unattractive.To answer your question i find it hard to live without intimacy,but i wouldnt want to end my ... (read in full...)
Can you live without sexual intimacy in a relationship?
Q. How do I know if my husband sexual problem is medical, or something else? He has ed and low sexal desire, but the DOCTOR NEVER FOUND ANYTHING WRONG. His health is k, so it is not medical so far ,unless they didn't find out why. I would fully exce...
A. 18 August 2009: Part 1.I am in the same position as you.I will be 33 next month,my partner-lets call him David,will be 40 in October and we havent had a sex life for about 3 years.We've been together 9 yrs,and ive always had a higher sex drive than him.I dont know ... (read in full...)
Will this constantly be hanging over my head and causing more harm than good for this marriage?
Q. Caught my husband cheating on me in my own home while i was sleeping upstairs....with my cousins girlfriend who is about 15 years older then me. I welcomed them in my home for a night of drinking and fun, my husband was really drunk and High on ...
A. 17 August 2009: Is this the first time your husband has cheated on you? If he is serious about doing whatever it takes to save your marriage ask him to go for councilling together. If he says it was the drink and coke that lowered his inhibitions enough that he ... (read in full...)
I'm in great shape... so why doesn't he french kiss me or give me oral?
Q. my husband won't french kiss me at all or perform oral sex on me. He just wants to have sex. I am in good shape and have great grooming. Is there something wrong. I am sure he does not run out on me. We have been married for 33 years and he has...
A. 17 August 2009: Hello.I thought id answer your problem as i am in the same sort of situation.My partner has no problem French Kissing,but its been many years since he has given me oral sex.We have been together 10 years and we are 33 and 40 respectivley.We gave ... (read in full...)
How do I get over wanting my father's approval and affection?
Q. I've been though a lot this summer with my father. He has told me that unless I am willing to be around my step mother he will not see me. And I am not allowed to be around her because she emotionally abused me, I won't get into details. What I need ...
A. 17 August 2009: Oh Darlin!Do you get on with the rest of your family?That must be so painful that your dad is treating you this way.Do you have a granda,Uncle or older brother that you get on with and can talk to?I am sorry your dad is acting this way.Please dnt ... (read in full...)
The deadline for telling his wife has come and gone. How do I tell her anonymously?
Q. I have been carrying on an affair with a married man. He is going to leave his wife, I do believe that. The thing is, the original timeline for him leaving her has already come and gone. Circumstances have just naturally happened that have caused ...
A. 17 August 2009: You must guess what im going to say.If he was going to leave her he would have by now-unless the circumstances are really exceptional,then what?There will probably be another exceptional reason not to leave again.Please dont tell his wife.No matter ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity but how can I stop being nervouse?
Q. im nearly 15 and i havent lost my big V yet and my gf whants to have sex with me i want to do it too but im nevrous what can i do to not be nervous?...
A. 17 August 2009: Honey,I dont want to sund like a prude, but it doesnt sound like your ready yet.Everyone is nervous their 1st time,but if you are totally ready then you should be more exited than nervous.I lost my V at 14 and regreted it as it wasnt with the right ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the semen to come back down and out?
Q. I have the implant, me and my boyfriend have both been for check-ups and we are both disease free! We have started having sex without a condom, I'm wondering if it's normal for the semen to come back down/out of me? It's abit messy sometimes and ge...
A. 14 August 2009: What goes up must come down.It's completly normal.This is what causes the wet patch.So theres nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
Will I still pass as a virgin when I get married even though I've had sex 3 times?
Q. had sex 3 times not planing on having sex for 2-3 years will i still pass off as a virgin when i get married? (all 3 times bled)...
A. 13 August 2009: I first lost my virginity at 14-though it was through peer pressure and i bled then, however because i was so tense he couldn,t penetrate me properly. The second time was a few months later and cos the 1st time was so uncomfortable i couldnt relax ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong, or is this a one-way relationship?
Q. I dont know what to do... my girlfriend is always lashing out at me for no reason, and im beginning to get sick of it. For example: She keeps in constant contact with all of her ex's. While this makes me uncomfortable I dont make mentio...
A. 11 August 2009: Hello, You have to know that she isn't being fair.From everything you've said this relationship is definatly one sided.Things cant go on the way they have been.She is knocking your confidence and believe me because ive been there, it doesnt take ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting really secretive.
Q. My best friend is getting really secretive. I mean, normally if i had news i would tell her before anyone else! She got a boyfriend, right, and i only found out off someone else! I asked her if it was true and she said yes. Now i'm unsure of ...
A. 20 March 2008: you didnt say how long you had been friends for. it will probably be this boyfriend or maybe shes been hanging around with a different group of friends and she probably feels shes grown apart from you. its really hard when this happens. it can ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my boyfriend will beat me!
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend Steve for a year now. The thing is, he has troule erecting. He is always watching porn, and I am anorexic, which he finds extremely sexy. Also last year, Dan his friend raped me. I didn't tell Steve as I know he ...
A. 15 March 2008: I know how hard it is to get away from a physically and mentally abusive relationship but believe me sweetheart it can be done.If he hasnt hit you by now he will soon.You will probably need help to do so.If this Steve is anything like my ex he will ... (read in full...)
If he looks at me a lot, does he like me?
Q. There's this guy that I like. I think he just likes me as a friend but I don't know. If I ask him to do small little things for me he does them, I catch him looking at me a lot, even from across a large room he was looking at me, he makes fun of me ...
A. 15 March 2008: Hi.It sounds like he does fancy you.Maybe hes worried you,ll knock him back if he asks you to go out with him.If you really like him whats stopping you from asking him instead.The worst thing that could happen is he could say no.Go 4 it.Kahlan.... (read in full...)
I'm left feeling alone after getting attached to him - please help.
Q. Hi, i guess im not really looking for advice, just need a sounding board. I have posted on here before ragarding my current relationship. We have been having a difficult time together recently, i dont think hes attentive enough, we have been squ...
A. 15 March 2008: Hi.I really feel 4 u.Its horrible when your scared of being alone but as u said you know what u have to do.It seems like he wants to find someone else before ending it so dont give him the chance and tell him its over.At least then your not ... (read in full...)
The idea of sex with an older guy scares me, as I have only dated men of my age before. Has anyone had such fears and how did you control them?
Q. I'm planning on having sex with a 32 guy im 22. I'm not a virgin but i feel unexperinced compared to him. All so he has to use mega condoms cause regular don't fit right so im scared of his size. Hes tall and thin but i guess his penis is to big. Is ...
A. 13 March 2008: Hiya hen.I have been in the same situation and as long as your sure of the guy it should be ok.Older guys usually have more experience and could teach u a few things or two.If your comfortable enuf explaining why u are nervous ask him to take it ... (read in full...)
Scared to go out with him.
Q. I have this friend who i have liked for ages. I think he likes me too. but im too scared to go out wif him coz i dont know how kiss oy anything like that. Am i fridget? How can i fix this?...
A. 7 February 2008: I remember how frightening it is when youve never kissed anyone B4.What if i do it wrong?What if i bump teeth?What if this happens what if that happens? First of all tilt your head slightly and meet lips together,with them slightly open.The rest wil... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 yrs is now ignoring me. Has he lost interest?
Q. I have a really bad problem. For no reason whatsoever, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years has decided to just ignore me. He's ignoring my texts and calls, when he says he will see me he backs out last minute. I know it isn't cheating, he just isnt that ...
A. 6 February 2008: I hope im wrong but it sounds like he wants to finish it but is too scared to tell you.Maybe theres another woman involved,maybe he just wants to be single again for whatever reason.Like it or not its up to him but whatever hes playing at you ... (read in full...)
What did he mean in his text when he said I need someone on my own level?
Q. hi, this is a long one so sorry if it takes time. I recently found an old text on my old sim from my one and only boyfreind of about 4 weeks, we split December last year, (this is not all of the text he sent). I never really read it properly ...
A. 4 February 2008: I dont think he meant it like that.I think he probably meant u were 2 different personalities.I cant see him meaning anything bad by it or trying 2 hurt u.He most certainly realized you were unexperienced and tho it wasnt a good idea 2 tell him u ... (read in full...)
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