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male
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anonymous
writes:Hi there guys, just need some advice for a slightly sticky situation i've gotten myself into. Last weekend, I met a woman that I really liked at a 21st and although she left early, she added me on facebook. This being the only form of communication we had, we began chatting to each other. I already knew I liked her and with the fact of facebook being our only medium I asked her out for a coffee about 3 days ago. Last night, I went out to a club and found a really nice girl who was friend of a friend (You know how it goes). Nothing happened at the club but we were both flirting a bit. I didn't try anything because I hadn't heard back from this other girl and didn't want to confuse my own feelings. Most of all, I didn't want to lead her on if this other girl said yes. The girl I asked out previously has since replied and says that she's currently in a complicated relationship with a guy from back home. (We're all at uni by the way) but still wants to be friends if that's okay with me. Fantastic!:-) The girl I met at the club, has added me on facebook and because of the flirting that happened i'm pretty sure she's interested. (Never guarenteed of course)Some of you might be thinking, well that's okay then go with the girl at the club, but i'm not sure what to do. They're both really wonderful women (Actually both one in a million). The thing is, i'm christian and i'm unsure of having a relationship with a non-christian. The girl I met at the party is a Christian whereas i'm not sure about the girl I met at the club.Finally, after that long story which i'd like to say thank you for reading, what should I do? Should I wait until the girl from the 21st possibly ends this relationship with her guy from home or should I ask out the girl from the club? Or should I just have them both purely as friends and see how things pan out? The only problem with the last option is that i'm not sure how to meet the girl from the club without it sounding like a date.Thanks again for reading this.P.S. As you can probably guess, this is the first time this type of situation has happened to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys, just an update for you all. I asked out the girl I met at the club and we have a date tonight.:-) Just wanted to say thanks again for all your help. Oh, and the other girl and I are just friends now which is great.
A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Look, dude, you have seriously messed up prodlems! :) But we'll fix that, the girl you met at the party: Do you know her all that well? And I understand why you didn't want to entangle yourself in a mass of problems with the girl at the club but if these girls are one in a million, look at the possibilities, are you going to sit and stay at home, waiting for that girl to dump her guy? Then find out you don't really have chemistry? I think you should go with the girl at the club, but don't just take my advice and my advice alone (however rubbish it may be :) lol) and also trust yoursef, listen to your heart, it'll know what to do. I once saw a film (actually it was a cartoon when I was little lol) and it said, 'Your duty is to your heart' listen to your heart, and I'm sorry if you don't find any of this advice any god, but I've wrote it now :) love, just-ask-xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, lol, yea Basschick we can go out for a drink. hehe. Awesome advice though. Thanks for all your replies, it's suddenly much clearer now. Just needed someone to tell me so. Yea, you are right that it does not matter about whether she is a christian or not. I was concerned about the want for sex before marriage, but you are right, that's not really a great issue at this point. Thanks for your advice all! You're all amazing.:-)
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I think you should pretty well cross the first girl off your list for now, because she's already admitted that she's in a complicated relationship with someone else. Regardless of the fact that she's a Christian, she's off the list because she's committed to someone else. As for the second girl you met at the club, you could simply ask her out for dinner, or a drink (do Christians do that?)...and let the relationship develop at its own pace. You may discover she has Christian beliefs as well. Or you may discover that she hasn't a clue about things like that, but is interested in learning about them. You could invite her to your church, and help shape her spiritual values. Not only will you be her b/f, but you will be responsible for sharing your faith with someone who may desperately need direction in her life. Unless she says she's a antheist, I wouldn't cross her off the list until you get to know her first and give her a chance. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Well, if she's agnosic there's no religious complications like her family disowning her, so go with the club girl, or else you could be waiting for quite some time, and reading between the lines, the first girl gave you the brush-off anyway!Phil
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reader, Tommy7  +, writes (5 October 2007):
You are not old fashioned you are naieve. A date is doing something together not necessarily an appointment for sex. Do you expect predestionation to control your fate?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Uncle Phil, any type really, though i'm thinking she might be atheist or agnostic. I never got to ask her or find out though. She certainly doesn't act "badly" if you know what I mean so i'm not worried about that. What do you think?
To Tommy 7, good advice, but unfortunately, i'm not that kind of guy. I'm very old-fashioned when it comes to dating and I would feel guilty essentially playing two girls along at once. Thanks for the advice though. I appreciate it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Depends on what you mean by 'non-christian - atheist, agnostic, muslim, hindu, shinto?
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (5 October 2007):
You are not an item up for sale that goes to the first bidder. You are free to date both girls until you want to become serious with one of them.
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