A
female
age
30-35,
*ightpollution
writes:I know there's tons of questions under this topic, but here its goes.I'm sixteen, and absolutely crazy about a teacher in my high school.It's become so bad, i's taken over my life. I can never stop thinking about him. It started about a year and a half ago. I had been in his class once, but we've never had a real conversation before. I love every single thing about him; the way he walks, the sound of his voice, everything. I was devastated when my semester was over, and i'd no longer be able to be near him anymore. I remember the day when it really started. I was walking around a corner at school when i almost run into him as he walked around the corner towards me. I looked up at him. He looked so deeply into my eyes and held it there ... i've never had someone look at me so intensely. I became obsessed with him after that. I would walk around the halls, and especially his office just to catch a glimpse of him. I'd stay there until four or later almost every day. He would look at me every single time, and even started saying hi to me.I'm not sure what i'm supposed to do now, because i'm still completely in love with him, but if he ever had loved me back in any way, it seems to be rapidly fading. I have a boyfriend now, which is with me every second out once i'm out of class. Our hands are pretty much glued together. I love my boyfriend, but in a completely different way than i love my teacher. It will just never be the same. When i'm with my boyfriend, all i can think about it my teacher, and it makes me terribly sad. My boyfriend kisses me before class (which he coincidently has with my teacher). When my teacher stands outside the door as he does so, i could almost catch some hurt in his eyes, and he goes back in. I kick myself for kissing my boyfriend back.I wanted to show my teacher that i love him, that he means alot to me. I have already left three things for him that i had make myself; a song i burnt, a poem i made, and picure i took with a verse from a song fitted to it. It's incredibly cheesy, but it didn't matter to me at the time, as long as he knew that i cared. I never signed them with my name, but i clued him with something like, "astral projection" at the bottom. Astral projection was something i would write about in his class, that he seemed quite interested in. Recently, i even signed my boyfriend up for the soccer team, because my teacher coaches it. It seems incredibly selfish, but it would give me an excuse to watch some games.It can't be infatuation, it just can't. I've never been more in love with anybody than this. I deeply feel as if there is something much more, but that belief is really letting me down at this point. He's one of those people that you know you will never ever get over.My question is, should i keep letting him know that i care? Is it wrong? Or if there is just anything you can help me with in this situation, i would really appreciate it.Even if i can get a tip on how to let him know that i still care, without verbally saying so !It's already gone this far, and i'm just saying that i'm not giving it up, no matter what. Please don't tell me to give up!Thanks so very much.
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female
reader, confused girl xxx  +, writes (2 March 2009):
aww i know you posted this like aggggggges ago but i just want to say i know what you are going through and your feelins sound soo sweet. he's flirting back like mine does even though our attraction started with conversations then the looks started
good luck and if you wanna talk message me x
A
female
reader, ButterflyAway  +, writes (21 April 2008):
I've been in the same boat before, and it went further than that and I found myself, once he admitted that he had feelings for me, backpeddling and smacking myself and wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into. I'm sorry. The chances of something happening with him are slim, and even if they do, it won't last. Your inbuilt conscious probably won't let you continue with the relationship - I know mine didn't. I had to cut that teacher out of my life and it drove me insane for a month, pining and wishing he was there, but in the end, I'm happier it's over. I won't forget him, but I'm focusing on people my own age.
If you want to know the full story about what happened, check out my questions - it's the last I posted.
Mail me if you want to talk.
Good luck.
ButterflyAway
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A
female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (20 April 2008):
 Hmmm i say don't give up because when you do it can make you really depressed....you may or may not understand.anyways, i think if you really really like him then keep sending him small messages that you care, talk to him more. get to know him....make jokes with him! I dont really have enough time to advise right now but if you wish to message me you can, feel free to ask me any questions or for help with ideas and stuff i don't mind!
And just dont let people tell you how you feel that is one mistake that is commonly made.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): its such an amazing, yet terrible experience to have feelings for a teacher. its great seeing him every day, talking to him, laughing with him, and flirting with him... but knowing that at the end of the day, he goes home to his wife, his kids, and his life. not sad because we don't want him to be happy... but sad because we know we can never be the one to make him that happy. we can never have our teacher that we feel so strongly for. i don't know what i'll do after i graduate because i'm going to miss him so much... but like so many people out there, i guess i will just have to enjoy my time with him, go to college, and try to move on. he's just so amazing though...but maybe in another life right?
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (14 April 2008):
 'Eyeswideopen' I know you have summat against me, and you obviously don't know what the many people like myself go through - Of Course you won't understand, as i've gathered from the many remarks you've made on me! Can ya just give it a rest yeah? I'm sick of your comments! And for your information I barely ever post about my teacher now!!!
Lightpollution, i'm sorry for using your post to get my message accross to someone! Hope you're okay, and like I said you can mail me whenever :) xxxx
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female
reader, xSpacexDementiax +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Oh my god, Im literally in the same thing here
:0
It's heart breaking isn't it
x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 If you want to to compare notes on obsession and impossible scenarios, by all means contact "Love_is_all_youu_need". She's been posting stuff about her crush on her teacher for over a year now. You won't get any real help but at least you can keep each busy so we don't get deluged with "this is real love not a crush" and "should I tell my teacher I love him" posting 3 or 4 times a day.
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (14 April 2008):
Hiya! I understand what ur going through! Teacher's can have such a massive impact on your life, and it's a really painful situation to go through when you become obsessed/infatuated/in love with a teacher! If ya wish, then mail me - i'm going through a similar thing! xxx
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female
reader, british_girl +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Wow. My situation is almost identical to yours. Mail me if you want to talk xx
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A
female
reader, sweetuffy23 +, writes (14 April 2008):
Okay i would suggest that you dont put yourself or him through this situation.First it will be very embarassing for you and him.He probably didnt report you casue you can get in serious trouble and he doesnt want that to happen.Even if he cares be the bigger person and let go.He could be going through some marital issue or something and you caring about him is sweet.He is vulnerable but dont take advantage of him.Trust me I know.Im going through a horrible case right now for the same reason.Because you wrote him the note you would be intitaing this.And at anytime he can give up the letter to the dean so please leave him alone.Its not worth it you will lose your credibility.
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Hmmm, so wait: Have you ever had an actual conversation with him or not? Or was it just not at first that you watched from afar?
Well, in any case, you've gotten yourself in pretty deeply. The song and poem and picture... he knows it's you. I don't know why he wouldn't say something to someone else unless he was semi-interested at least. Usually when a student makes advances, the teacher will report it, no matter how much they previously encouraged or discouraged it, because it seems to be swinging out of hand. So it's odd that he hasn't notified someone, at least for his own legal protection. By not reporting it, he's kind of leading you on. He's saying that he's okay with your gifts, and that he likes them.
Is he close to your age? If you're 16 and he's under 26, maybe it's not a huge deal if you all were attracted and then WAITED until AFTER you graduate to have a date. If he's married, though, back off a bit. He could just be going through a difficult time with a wife/girlfriend, and you're there sending him poems and whatnot... just be cautious that you could be luring him away from someone else, which is a rather awful thing to do to that someone else.
If you want him to know that you care, ask him if he's alright one day when he looks sad or lonely or tired, and when he says he's fine, say 'okay, if you're sure,' and then smile reassuringly. He'll know you care if you did that. One time I was going through some family problems, and I looked upset every once and a while, so my math teacher kept asking me if I was okay every other day for about 2 weeks until we ran into each other after class at the school building one day, and I told him what was happening. I knew he really cared because he had kept asking, so I figured I wouldn't be bothering him or wasting my breath by talking to him. Maybe he'll open up to you when he has a problem if you ask him if he's alright. If he's upset or sad--he could just be perfectly happy, just tired.
Does he seem like he's looking for a romantic relationship or having trouble in the one he's in? You might want to consider what he's looking for in you before you overstep anymore 'friend' boundaries.
...Hope that helped you. Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. Good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): Sweetie, unfortunately I have bad news. It will never work between you & your teacher. First off because of the age difference and he's your teacher.
What you are going thru is a crush. We all have gone thru it.
What you need to do is stay away & focus on your school & your bf. Good Luck
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