A
male
age
51-59,
*azzy
writes:Hi to all the people who answered my previous questions, about my affair and my wifes affair. We have got back together, we are both anxious, we both have trust issuse's, we both feel crushed. We are letting go of the past, after taking out the understanding of how we were before the affairs started, and what problems were around. We are doing a clean break, we would like some constructive ideas of what could help us to move on. Dear Cupid has been a positive experience, so for the last time, dig deep and put forward your suggestions.Garry and Jo xx
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affair, crush, got back together, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Gazzy +, writes (6 January 2010):
Gazzy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies, we will continue to go to counselling, which we started 3 months ago. It didnt quite work then has we both lied in the sessions.The replies you have given made both of us cry, thanks.
The hardest part in this is accepting what we did with the other parties. I find it really hard to come to terms with what my wife did, but i am trying.
Thanks
Gaz & Jo
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 I'm glad are working things out!
Gazzy, just keep knocking down the barriers that you've built up over the years. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Trust that you are safe with her, that you are loved, protected and not alone in the world. It's hard work, but you're up to it and your wife is worth the effort.
I wish you two the best. :-)
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (5 January 2010):
 I agree with CaringGuy. The only way this is going to work is if you two vest an intrest into your relationship and see a marriage counselor. You all tried it your way, and failed. I define failure by you and your wifes blatant disreguard for your wedding vows. Get professional help, or move on.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
I would definitely recommend that you both go to couples counselling. I think it's great that you're both giving it a second chance after the affairs you've had. I'm sure you're both worried about it and such. You both need to be able to understand why you had affairs, and understand that you will both need to change certain things. The single most important thing is that you both listen to each other now. When one of you is nervous, the other needs to be there to reassure them and such. You need to go out on dates and get to know each other again. Go on a weekend away and just be yourselves again. You just need to be with each other, listen and care for each other. You'll get there. All the best.
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