A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please help me!im 15 and i am 38 weeks pregnant. my parents arn't supporting me at all and they are threatening to throw me out once the baby is born unless i have an abortion. my boyfriend died just after i became pregnant as he got ran over so i cant live with him. i am so scared and labour is coming up. my mum and dad really don't want the baby. they are leaving me home alone loads and they have took my mobile of me and the home phone is broken so if i go into labour and they are not at home i am stuck. i live in the country on a farm that my parents run so i cant go to the neighbours. i have quite alot of things for the baby but i am just so scared about labour, if they chuck me out where will i go, and if they will harm the baby. i really want the baby and nothing is going to change my mind. please help me with all my problems
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Hey Sweetie, I understand your position, but you have to think of your life and the childs life. Loving a child means giving it the best thing for it and if thats not you then there are plenty of people who will give it a home and love it unconditionally. The whole world isnt mean and hateful.I recently lost twins so I know the pain of not having a child. If you are that young and you have no help,It is up to you to do whats right, the selfless thing and make sure it has a chance to live. Then you may have a chance to go to college get out and live away from people who dont accept you.
A
female
reader, Mummy to be +, writes (24 October 2008):
 Hi sweetie, i am pregnant at the moment and anyone out there that is pregnant or has a baby of their own will understand the love you feel for your unborn baby from the moment you found out. Your situation as far as your age goes is not the best but the way your family have dealt with this is disgraceful. It is highly dangerous to leave you in the middle of nowhere with no phones, i would suggest calling the NHS helpline and talk to the police as well. If your parents haven't accepted the baby and they are treating their own baby like this then maybe they are not the best people to be around anyway. I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend, that must have been very hard for you to cope with and i think if you are strong enough to deal with that then you are strong enough to bring this baby up. You just need to get a little help.
I have to disagree with deejuliet about adoption being the best thing for your baby. A two parent family is ideal, yes, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. As long as you know you will love your baby and do right by it then the best place for your baby is with you.
I understand that your scared honey and i'm 21 and terrified about being a single mum so you must be just feeling rubbish but for what it's worth i think you are very brave. Seek the help you need and stop trying with your parents. I hope you have enjoyed your pregnancy and not let this spoil it. If you ever need to talk just message me. Take care and good luck. Love and hugs, mummy to be : )
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Babes, you need to contact your doctor and get the social services to help you. There is no reason for you to be left with your parents if you don't feel safe there. If you give us details of the area you live in, I will give you details of your local social services. Please contact the NHS and explain your situation and see if you can get a midwife to travel to your home. It is illegal in Britain to arrange a baby without informing your doctor or midwife. Please contact the NHS and tell them your situation and ask if someone can visit you at home. They will sort out everything you need, including somewhere else to live if you feel unhappy or unsafe.
The NHS in the UK run a 24/7 telephone advice service. http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/index.aspx. You can contact them on 0845 4647 if you need emergency advice on pregnancy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): The way I understood this, the poster has no telephone to call the police or any help. Is there maybe somebody from the UK that can post links on the internet that she can contact for help. Just a suggestion!
I think she will need to arrange for help now and not wait until in labour.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 BABYLOVE had a great idea - why don't you contact your late boyfriends parents and explain your situation to them? I'm sure that they would be thrilled to have a part of their son and their sons love with them.
I'm so sorry that your boyfriend passed away, how difficult for you. I wish your parents were filled with more love and support for you. If your boyfriends parents aren't receptive, do you have relatives or friends or teachers to talk to? Somebody can help you find a supportive place to be to help you along with a new baby.
Please find help immediately because labor could happen any time for you and you SHOULD NOT be alone. It could be very dangerous. You need phone access, desperately. If all else fails, call the police to help you. You need to take care of yourself, my darling.
Congratulations, sweet. You're a very brave girl and I know you have the strength inside of you. We are all thinking of you.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 October 2008):
 At 38 weeks you are waaaaaay past the time that you can get an abortion. You are carrying a full term baby. If it were born today it would not even be considered premature. Perhaps you meant that your parents will kick you out if you do not give up your baby for adoption? Considering your very young age that would be a reasonable request for your parents to make. An ADULT, stable, two parent family is what is best for the baby. It may not be what you want, but it is in the best interests of the child. I am sure you will do your best to be the best mother you can be if you choose to keep your baby, I am not saying you are unfit at all. What I am saying is that if you consider what is best for the BABY, not what is best for YOU then adoption is the correct choice. Please consider it. There are so many childless couples who would love to raise your baby and call it their own!
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (23 October 2008):
i don't have experience on this subject to help you, but all i know is that you would be turned down for an abortion anyway as you are too far into the pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 October 2008):
Not being very happy that you are pregnant is understandable... but leaving you stuck in the middle of no where with no way to call for help is criminally negligent. What if something went wrong? Are they going to be happy to come home and found you have miscarried and died of bloodloss? I doubt it.
I think you need to tell them that you are really sorry to disappoint them in this way but you cannot go through with an abortion and that if they cannot accept that then they need to call social services now, not after you go into labour.
Talk to a teacher at school if they still won't help and get your school to help you get somewhere to live. There is help available! Also does your boyfriend's mum know about the baby and your problems? She should know if she is going to be a grandma and may be able to help you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): just to check, when u said an abortion did u mean adoption? because its impossible to have an abortion at 38 weeks, u cud go into labour any day :s
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Honey, you really need to call the police and turn yourself and your unborn baby over to social services. You will be well cared for and you can live with a caring and supportive foster family, who will support you through this and help you to be the best mom to your baby!
You are very young, so your labour may be difficult. You need, absolutely need to be able to call an ambulance when you go into labour.
Please, please do this, the police will be very understanding and will make sure you are safe. If youc care about your baby, then you wont let it die because youre home alone when its born adn soemthing might go wrong.
If you need any more help, or jsut want to talk to someone about things, message me privately!
And honey, there are loads of people out there who will support and love you and help you through this. You dont have to rely on your parents if they are putting you and your baby in danger!
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