A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is he so horrible? He's really broken my heart:(?So my bf have been dating 10 months long distance where he'd call me all the time. But lately he had been acting weird lately not calling as much, no I miss you to love you.Today I went out and didn't ring him and he rang me when I got back he asked why I didnt call. I said I went to a party.He got so angry and said he had a dream I cheated on him and the phone went off. I tried to call him back but he kept cutting my calls. So I texted him.He rang me back screaming at me on the phone won't even give me a chance to speak.I texted him and he text back saying I have a problem that why I'm single. I'm a fake girl. He's tired of me. He called me world First Lady. I shouldn't ring him anymore he doesn't want to speak to me ever again.I'm so hurt. Wow. I can't stop crying. What has gotten into him:(. 24 and he's 28
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): The good thing is, he's miles away. You can disconnect, delete him from your social media, and go completely no contact.
Stop crying. You should have hung-up the minute he raised his voice at you. You really need to get out more.
He sounds like a nut-case, and you've ducked a bullet.
He may have some serious psychological problems, and you're getting pretty desperate; to be so emotional for someone so hurtful and insulting. He sounds bipolar.
Don't live the life of a drama-queen. It's unhealthy.
You'll be too emotionally-damaged to maintain real-life relationships. People will perceive weirdness or flakiness in your personality. That could be a warning or quite off-putting. You don't want to raise red-flags about your mental-stability.
LDR's don't allow for a lot of honesty and transparency.
You can create make-believe characters and have fantasy-based relationships. Never really showing who you really are, or exposing your true character or nature.
You could be a total imaginary person; carefully designed for the person on the other end. Based on what you said you are looking for in your profile; and over-sharing of personal information.
Fate stepped in, and protected you from an unwise choice, and potential harm. He is obviously abusive, and could be psychotic. You are avoiding traditional ways of courtship out of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and desperation. Strong and secure women don't fall apart so easily over something like this.
You need to make yourself available for local and real-live relationships. You need the practice; if you have fallen so deeply for someone you've known about for ten months; and don't mention you've ever met.
LDR's are too restrictive, impersonal, and you lose yourself in a make-believe world. Limited to nothing but a flow of calls, Skyping, and text messages. Yearning for intimacy, and held prisoner to a lot of waiting.
You only get to see each other in doses; and the gaps in-between in-person visits is excruciating.
Calls and texting is no substitute for having a hand to hold. Hearing a heartbeat,and getting a long kiss good-night. Cuddling together.
Wasting your life online; while electronic devices tie you together with a total stranger. In desperate need of real human-contact.
Weekends alone except for messages. No sex or intimacy. All your friends and family feeling pity that you're so desperate that you can't open yourself up to find a man in close-proximity.
You may be sad now. All the wonderful aunts here will cheer you up and bring you closer to reality. The rest will be up to you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 February 2014):
 I agree with Ciar,
It's not adding up at all. My guess would be that is he either SEEING someone or interested in someone closer to his location and when you went to a party without "permission" he pulled the "I dreamt you cheated" - doesn't matter to him that you DIDN'T ACTUALLY cheat - in his mind you did because it's CONVENIENT for him - that way he can dump you and call you names.
Block him from EVERYTHING phone, e-mail, Facebook - EVERYTHING. and do YOURSELF a favor and NEVER contact him again. And don't take anything he said to heart, he was mad and full of shit.
Being in a LDR takes work from BOTH parties and it really doesn't work well if you rarely see each other. Also it's something temporary - LRD means not being together while you BOTH work on a plan to get closer at some point.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 February 2014):
 Heartbreaking as it is I think he has done you a favor.
First he started showing that something else was distracting him, or interesting him more than he wanted to say. His silence was his way of letting you down slowly. He was hoping you would somehow ''get the message''.
But of course you care about him very much.
You were hurt that he did not seem as interested.
You do need to pick up on the things you enjoy and do well.
Because sadly he has not had the courage to tell you the truth.
His lack of courage, (in the face of the fact that something else or someone else is distracting him),would be disapppointing to any partner.
I think he was just looking for an excuse to ''stage'' a tantrum as he acted up and insulted you, in an effort to drive you away.
That is not a very nice way to break up with a person, all because he lacks the courage to tell you the real situation.
It is not a respectful way and it is very hurtful.
So write a list of your top ten Best points.
Set some goals (that do not involve him) for the coming year.
Schedule some new interesting visits to places (near or far) that you can visit and have always wanted to visit.
Consider joining a group (maybe one that helps the community?) where you can meet nice interesting positive people.
Consider learning a new skill.
Over time you will recognise that a caring loving partner never needs to verbally abuse their partner.
If he will abuse you verbally then over time he might have chosen to become more abusive.
LDRs are so difficult.
LDRs are difficult to maintain.
LDRs often end in tears.
Right now his behavior is touching some raw nerves, and his words are hurting you.
You are feeling rejected.
The problem for him is that he does value all of your own unique positive attributes.
He just does not completely understand all the beauty within you. Poor him.
Be thankful that he has freed up your time to find a caring empathic kind guy who really does respect you and love you.
Who will respect and be eager to discover all that makes you unique and special. And will love you and have courage as well.
That new guy is out there somewhere, maybe even closer to home?
In the interim perhaps look around in your area and find a nice respectful guy to date.
Breaking up is always horrible. And I am truly sorry that you are hurting so bad right now. the memories and the good times and the 'what this could have become' weigh heavily on the person suffering the grief of loss.
The sufferer has to call on so much inner courage and strength to get through the loss.
Lean on whoever you need to lean on.
But also make it a rule to do at least ONE nice thing for YOU every day from now on. It will help underline that you do deserve to be treated well every day.
And that you certainly do need to be spoken to in a way that is far more respectful than the way he spoke to you during your recent conversation.
You deserve much better.
You may come to the conclusion that it's a blessing in disguise to breakup with a partner who's chosen to speak to you in the way he did..
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (16 February 2014):
 He had a dream that you cheated on him, you went to party and that proves that you're fake? Is this guy for real?
In my experience, people treat others how they behave themselves, that's because their own behaviour is their only frame of reference.
I think that HE has cheated on you and is making himself feel better by finding fault with you and tarring you with the same brush.
You have been faithful so treat him as though he is faithful, because that is what you believe as your behaviour is your frame of reference.
This is only my guess but regardless of the reason behind his outburst, his recent behaviour is horrible, disrespectful and unkind. His outburst after your party was totally unreasonable, overly aggressive and extreme to say the least.
Have some self respect and throw this waste of space back into the pond that he came from.
Yes it hurts and of course you will feel sad for some time, it's only natural, but do not let this guy back into your life.
All the signs are pointing to him not really being committed to this relationship, LDR or otherwise, and if he can be so volatile over a missed call and a party I dread to think how he might react face to face.
You have done nothing wrong and this guy has treated you appallingly, I hope you feel better soon and find a real guy to love you in the way you deserve to be loved.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 February 2014):
From his reaction, I would say that there is someone else around somewhere,and that he basically wanted to end it. He sounds jealous and possessive at any rate, and given that you're in an LDR I did wonder if he already had a girlfriend or something and was cheating on her already.
Whatever the reason, you need to move on from him. There's no way that he's stable enough or good enough to be in a relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): Sorry but these ldr, s dont wash with me. How can you let yourself get so hooked on a guy youve probably met just a handfull of times...., if that?
Go out, have fun and find yourself a real man, your 24, not 14. Forget long distance rubbish and go find yourself a lovely person who you can sleep next to at night, hold hands with on a daily basis, go out to dinner with and watch movies with..,,,, see this as a positive, not something to cry over, something to feel relieved over. Hes given you a way out, take it!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (16 February 2014):
 Something doesn't add up here.
Either there is a lot of missing background information or your online boyfriend wanted out but didn't want to look like the bad guy so he accused you of cheating to give himself an excuse.
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