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His daughter found my text messages to him and now he wants to cool things

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2017)
A female Ireland age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi I met a guy whom Ive known for years .. he was married before twenty years ago . He has three kids two grown up another who is eleven he lived with a woman before but didn’t work out I’ve just been seperated six months and for years I ignored him my friend used to say he fancied me for years I guess they wer right we finally spoke and met up there was always something there between us he told me he liked me a lot and it was different with someone he liked (me) he saw each other for about 5months texting each other and phoned wexskept toghter 3times I must admit I fell for him I know he felt the same .. but we didn’t come to that until last week his daughter found my messages on his phone she left hers at home and used his which I didn’t know until he told me she was upset and now he said he wants to leave things with us because of his daughter I’m hurt ... I didn’t text him since then my friend says he might change his mind and come back I don’t know what to think anymore

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds like he is using his daughter as an excuse. It might be a case that he felt the relationship was not working and well he is not man enough to admit it. If you need closure then call him and tell him how you feel. Other than that I would just accept that he has ended it and move on with your life. I know it is difficult but he would be with you if he really wanted to be.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 December 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with WiseOwle,

He is using his daughter as an excuse. He is old enough to tell his daughter that 1. he was seeing you and 2. that whom he dates is his choice.

I'd block him and move on. If he tries to contact you when this settles down, don't pick up where you started off because this will just happen again.

Focus on getting your divorce finalized so you can date freely.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (7 December 2017):

He's using his daughter as a convenient excuse. She may have found your phone messages; but I don't think his daughter is any position to decide who her father sees or what he does.

I speculate that the fling has run it's course, and he notices you may be getting too attached. He wasn't really looking for a long-term relationship. You just happened to provide him with some companionship. With sex as a bonus.

If he really wanted to continue seeing you, he'd put the young lady in her place. He's much too old to be ruled by his daughter.

If you ask me, I'd say he's just gracefully bowing-out before you get too serious. He's not looking for a girlfriend or a wife.

You were looking for a rebound romance to fall-back on after your separation.

Don't you think it is a little "convenient" that you're suddenly falling for a guy you hardly gave a hoot about; until you recalled what your friend said about him.

He's single and available; and you're looking for a replacement for your lost relationship.

Not only is it too soon to care so much; but it's a bit suspect that you looked him up when you really didn't care about him before.

If he gave-up so easily; because some 11 year-old kid says so. He's not that much into you.

If he does comeback, withhold the sex-benefit to see if he'll stick around. My guess is, his little daughter will suddenly call daddy home!

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (7 December 2017):

tell him that if he is no longer interested to act like a man and stop using his kid as an excuse. He needs to shit or get off the pot, either he is interested in you or not. If you dont get the outcome that you want, consider it to be a blessing in disguise.... Because you dont need to waste time on someone who is playing games

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (7 December 2017):

Why is his daughter dictating his social life? Either the guy is a wuss (a weak person) or he is using his daughter as an excuse to break up with you. Most likely, he is being a wuss. His daughter is probably going to continue to run his life and apparently doesn't like you, so there are no easy solutions to this. I'm sorry to give you the bad news but you are better off without someone in their 50's or 60's who answers to their daughter before themselves or you.

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