A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid Ok i am a student living in a east coast state in the us.. on break i met a man online on skype.. at first i was hesitant but then i just began talking to him..we have been talking to each other for almost 3 months now but are serious about our relationship. he is from israel and we have been staying in touch through skype video chats.. We want to meet each other and wed one day only problem is family disapproves me talking to him but i feel he is the right one for me but it is causing me to go behind the family to try and see him.. the only way for me to see him is getting a passport and visiting him in his country first because he is not eligble for a visa..then after so many months we would try and come back to the states to live so i could work and pay off college bills.. Do you think this type of relationship could work.. i know me being a young single women can be dangerous since we have never met but i feel in my heart and have been praying to God that this is right and have much faith that he is telling me the truth and not lying... i am a person of little means of money and him too but we both agree that we are right for each other.. I just want some happines for my self for once instead of my family telling me what i can and cant do.. some times i feel like it may never happen to visit him in october of 2012, alot of times i have hesitated to get a passport yet because i feel like the parents will find out and try and stop me at all cost.. I know because i am the only daughter and youngest child that they are worried about losing me and that they love me very much.. I have done all my research about the country on the government website on what is happening the type of crime, threats, terroist groups and how to stay in contact with the american/tel aviv consulate.. what numbers i need and places to avoid.. i know my parents would be worried that if i went over there that i could disappear and never be seen again, but you cant pre-judge a person based on culture.. I dont think this would happen to me if i am causious and have much knowledge of where i am going and prepared for anything that goes on.. i also feel in a way that i am doing rong but really i dont want to loose this man.. we have talked about the future for us and we both have been very honest with each other on every subject possible in our relationship.. when october 2012 comes around then it will be 10 months since the day we started talking in Dec. 2011. would this be enough time between us to find out more about the both of us from the skype video chats to be able to go meet him in his country.. IN the beginning when all the family found out i had so many people trying to tell me what to do but it was overwhelming and it made me depressed until i made the choice to continue the relationship.I have never been as happy in my life as today when i decided to continue seeing him. It is not every day you feel you finally have found a soul mate that you where ment to be with or the one.. i know i feel it inside that this is right and i have thought of it logically to.. I know the family does not aprrove but should they have a say in the matter.. I dont think they should because they are not the ones thinking of being with him for the rest of their lives only me.. I know that there are creeps out ther praying on the young and niocence and traficing is going on and kiddnaping and bombing and raids are going on but u know what any of this could happen anywhere you go and times from the past have changes and there is more modern things and ways in isreal now days. I just would like to hear from someone other than family on this situation i am in.. I need a honest and truthfull answer.. I just want everything to workout and know that if we are patient enough that maybe things could work in our favor.. oh ya another big main reason why the family does not agree is that he is not a saved Christian such as myself.. and as a christian i know that i am playing in fire seeing someone other than what the bible says but you know sometimes you cant help who you start to fall in love with no mater the race,culture,religion,or there ways of life such as there ideas... just one last thought from me.....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2012):
 The website I used was this one: http://israel.usembassy.gov/visas.html
The PROBLEMS however as you post more information continue to GROW in my opinion
1. You have talked about “we want to meet each other and wed one day the ONLY (my emphasis) problem is family disapproves me talking to him…” and yet you just updated me with the following information
a. You have no idea what his religion is. And yet you are ready to marry him. What if his religion expects him to take more than one wife? What if he already has a wife?
b. You say he was born in Jordan but lives in Jerusalem… that may put a huge crimp in my advice as I need to know his CITIZENSHIP status… is he a Jordanian citizen or an Israeli citizen… In other words… where is his passport issued from?
c. He is willing to learn and accept your religion REALLY? I’m Jewish I understand many religions I can tolerate them but not accept that their beliefs are true and therefore cannot support some things that are fundamental to the religions. I can respect their beliefs but not support them. And while tolerance is ok ti’s not support. How will you feel if you marry him and he can’t deal with having a Christmas tree? What if he does not eat pork or shellfish? What if his Sabbath is from Friday to Saturday not on Sunday? Then what? He may accept your religion but not practice it. Can you cope with that?
As for the visa explanations…since he’s already told you he needs 10k for a visa have him explain it to you… if he can’t that means he’s not researched it enough to know what he’s talking about and that’s just more lies on top of things.
YOU say you tell each other everything you like and dislike and are honest with each other but just knowing what you like and dislike is not enough….
Are you really 22-25???? You sound more like 15 or 16 thinking that it’s ok to plan to marry someone who you don’t know anything about… And if you can’t tell me what religion he is and what his Citizenship is then you don’t know a whole heck of a lot about him yet.
Likes and dislikes are flexible things
Fundamental things like religious beliefs, citizenship, etc.. these are critical things.
Personally you may want to plan to meet him but I would not be the one doing the traveling…. Not with what you are telling me… Jordanians are Arabs living in Israel they are not Israelis. And that makes a big huge difference in a LOT of things. But the charges he says that he needs to pay are NOT from the USA they may be from Jordan… so much you need to find out about this man before you can even MEET him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to the the women who just wrote to me... I greatly appreciate what you have told me... I would greatly appreciate if you could give me this web site that you looked under for the types of visas that you found..As far as i know of he is not muslim and he is not jewish either.. he was born i jordan but just about all his life as a kid to now he was raised in Jerusalam.. i would like to present this visa info to him to his face and see what reaction he gives me.. i know that religion would and could be an issue but he told me he is willing to learn and accept my religion.. and i know that we have 2 different cultures but you cant pre- judge someone for that..and i know i have never met him in person, only on skype video chats but i mean we tell each other everything we like and dislike and we are honest with each other... so from this visa thing you told me about what do the letters mean.. for the differnet types of visas..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2012):
wait a second... he's from Israel... why can't he get a visa? US relations with Israel are about as friendly as you can get... so what's his rationale?
I have many friends that have moved there from the states.. both my sons have been there... I have pictures of them holding their AK47s.... it's a fact of life there.... yes it can be dangerous on the border areas but Tel Aviv and Jerusalem are pretty safe places.
So it's not about the location you wish to visit... My concerns are much deeper.
you are a saved Christian... as a Jewish woman I am not sure exactly how that sets you apart from a non-saved Christian but I wonder is this man Jewish or Muslim??? Because darling if you are a saved Christian or even a devoutly unsaved one there will be many MANY problems with religion much less cultural differences....
that's my first big concern. And that would be a concern if he lived next door to you... Religious differences when even ONE party is religious can be a problem. I know this as a Jewish woman living with a much younger Catholic man... neither of us CARE about our religions and yet it still can be an issue for us around certain events...
Secondly... you met ONLINE... all you have ever known of each other is ONLINE... maybe he likes garlic so much he smells like garlic 24/7 and you can't stand garlic... then what?
what if when you meet him face to face you just don't have that chemistry that makes it work? what if you guys are chemically in the friend zone? YOU CANNOT base and plan a life with someone you have not met... this is not the 1800s where mail order brides made the best of a bad situation for financial reasons.
OK i had the above written before I read your update
this is from the US EMBASSY SITE in Tel Aviv re VISA COSTS:
What is the cost to apply for a visa?
For most visa categories the Machine Readable Visa (MRV) fee is $140. Petition-based visas, such as H, L, O, P, Q and R, are $150. E visas are $390. Depending upon the applicant’s nationality or visa category, there might be additional reciprocity fees payable at the time of visa issuance. MRV fees are not refundable and are not transferrable. They are valid only for the individual named on the receipt. MRV fees are valid for one year from the date of purchase.
THE MOST A VISA COSTS IS AROUND 400 DOLLARS
the part about needing 10 grand is CRAP baby...
now you have your answer... it's all lies..
also sweetheart.. ALL ISRAELIS serve in the army from age 18-25 men and women... it's not just the men being needed... and they are all reserves till they are 60... and get called up as needed.... MORE LIES
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to the two people who have givin me a reply.. Yes i have concided and i know that i love my family very much and they do as well but what about the my happiness.. should i sacrific that just to make the family happy.. then when another person comes along listen to the family again and move away from the next relationship if it does not please the family.. For the 2nd person who wrote to me... the person i am seeing is not able to apply for a visa cause israel required a some of $10,000 in his account and his name title in a business and he has neither but it is diferent with women and children and the elderly they would be able to go and come.. it is harder on him becuase if his country needed more men for their army then he would be drafted.. that is why they are making it more harder on the young men especialy him to come too me.. What if i had one or two older guy family members come with me to meet him do you think this would be more acceptable...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): oh boy... I had same situation... except I was kicked out the house when I insisted on keeping the relationship.I think what it boils down to is whether you are up for the long... and I do mean long, road to actually being together. Have you guys considered who would immigrate? Have you considered the possibility that neither of you may qualify to immigrate? ... or the time that it will take? (in my case ended up being roughly 8 years)Also, not to be rude, but I think he should visit you first, even if you give your ticket money to him (if he's broke), let him make the first step. Not to be sexist... but it is highly dangerous for a lady to do something like that alone, without support from family I might add.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012):
Enjoy your chats and seeings on the skype..and stay put in US till he turns up with his love and proposes in person.You have a family where they love you and you mean a lot to them as the last child. If you are not able to recognize love of your own people how is it you discovered a soul- ? It is all bunk-up.You are out just for an adventure. A miss adventure, causing pain for everyone starting with you.
This i not to say you cannot have fun. Even when you learn to ride a bike you do fall once or twice. But falling once or twice is not the way to learn to ride- right!? The art of living is to learn to love, and it begins at home. Good to learn, young lady!!
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