A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I have an issue. I've been dating my bf for a year, and I want out. The problem is, he doesn't know I feel this way... Yet. I told my friends that I wanted to break up with him and when they all got drunk at a party, they told my bf's best friend... And he threatened to tell my bf.Here's another issue, I don't wanna break up with him to his face because I know I'd be the one to break down and cry, plus I don't wanna see the hurt in his eyes, especially if he didn't see it coming. Not to mention he loves me. And I don't love him.He's a bum, I dunno why I dated him in the first place. He wears the same clothes every week (without washing them). He has cockroaches in his room, and on his bed... We've had sex in that same room... With cockroaches around my face... I flipped. Not to mention he's talking marriage, and he wants to live in a trailer park...I tried breaking up with him face to face over the summer... It didn't work, I cried and took back what I said because he was so hurt.Is it bad if I break up with him through text? I just think it'd be easier... For both of us. But I know that's really low... Opinions?
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 Break up face to face but do it in a quiet PUBLIC location... cuts down on the drama. "hey can we meet at Starbucks for a coffee"and then quietly outline the issue.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 December 2011):
 I agree with the others. Break up in person.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Yes, its low. You need to call it off and be strong and brave enough to talk to him face to face and call it quits. Ending it over text is just really cowardly and disgusting and really, you have nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to hide. Of course he's going to feel bad, no one enjoys getting dumped. But you have to tell yourself that YOU need to get out of it because this guy is just dragging you down and you cannot put up with his mess any longer.
Remember OP, you cannot please everyone. Ever.
If you keep trying to make him happy, then you are suffering and feeling horrible in the process. You need to break up and NOT via text.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 December 2011):
Yes, it is low. You can't complain about the way he acts then dump him in such a shallow way. At the very least, call him to tell him.
As the post below says, if you dump him by text, then never again can you moan about a man being insensitive.
...............................
A
female
reader, goldengirl88  +, writes (26 December 2011):
Woman up and tell him face to face! dont be one of those low people who deny someone of closure, this will in the end make it worse for both him and you as this will be all he wants and will keep hasseling you for answers trust me i know as i have been the dumpee by this method and it is one of the cruelest thing someone can do. How would you feel?Just tell in that you are both moving in different directions and want different things out of life, and right now you think it is for the bests that you breakup and move on from one another. That you care about him and wish him well, but you just dont want to be with him. Its not a reflection on him, it just that you want different things from life thats all
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): Of course it's bad if you break up with through a text mnessage. it's one of the lowest things a person can do when ending a relationship. Stand up and face him, of course he will be hurt and it will hurt a lot more if you do it through a text message. And no it won't be easier for you and him, it will only be easier for you. Tell him in person and face up to the fact that you are hurting him. Adults face many situations which are uncomfortable and they do it because they are grown up, so and tell him to his face.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Yes it's bad.And low, and rude. And it would be eventually even more painful and drawn out.
Probably he would not take you seriously,if he did not see it coming he'd think you are having PMS or you are mad at him for something. He'd call you, he'd want to talk, he'd text you back forever.
Woman up. Be honest . And final. Surgical, even. So you will cry- big deal. You'll see the hurt in his eyes. Probably, but you can't make an omelette without breaking the eggs and this is an omelette that you need to break ASAP if you don't want to end up petting cockroaches in a trailer park ( really, what were you thinking ).
We can't keep whining how men are so coward and insensitive and passive aggressive in breaking up- and then do the same and worse.
...............................
|
