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My boyfriend is pressuring me into getting his name tattooed on me!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2006) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

my boyfriend of 4 years is pressurising me a lot to get his name tattooed on my breasts or butts. he insists that this is a definite way of expressing my love for him. i am not sure of social and/or clinical affects of this.

i love him deeply and donot want to lose him.

please guide me.

love D

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A female reader, xxcat +, writes (14 September 2006):

xxcat agony auntDONT do it,evern when my brother was killed i had a tat dun but in japanese, if he dumps u cause of it then he dont love u, as the other lady said a tat is for life!

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A female reader, risk_taker +, writes (13 September 2006):

I don't think you should get it done,because for one is he getting your name written on his body?Look I dated this guy for 4 years and got his nickname tatto on my arm and now were not toghter anymore I loved him with all my heart and soul and now I'm stuck with his nickname on my arm.Hell we don't even talk to this day.So don't let him talk you in to doing something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life

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A female reader, Angel_A +, writes (13 September 2006):

Angel_A agony auntNO NO NO don't do this!!

I agree with all other posters - it's just so WRONG!

If you actually want a tattoo per se, then perhaps you go together and chose something YOU like, such as the japansese symbol for "love" or something, so that in the future you can look at it and feel happy with it and that it was your choice. Also if you then split up, it won't be about him, it'll be something you like and chose for yourself.

Failing that, if he isn't happy that you just don't want a tattoo tell him to bugger off - he doesn't deserve you!

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

first of all, love is not about pressuring anybody to do anything that they're uncomfortable with. if he's using the line "but it'll prove how much you love me", there's a red flag right there. because you shouldn't have to show him you love him through ridiculous acts such as a tattoo on your bum. i can't believe he'd want you to that. i promise you, the only reason he wants you to, is because it's his way of controlling you. because if the two of you break up, tell me, what guy is going to want to mess around with a girl who's got another guys name tattooed on her breasts or butt? it'd be uncomfortable and awkward. don't allow it to happen. you're not a cow...you don't need to be branded. either that or tell him to get your name tattooed on his balls, and see what he says.

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (13 September 2006):

Ponungalungb agony auntI knew a woman once who was a big fan of the movie "Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid". So much, in fact, she had the images of Paul Newman and Robert Redford tattooed on either side of the inside of her thighs.

The night after she had the tattoos applied, she invited her husband into the bedroom to check them out.

Well, he said, "I recognize the two guys on your thighs, but who is the guy in the middle, Willie Nelson?"

Rim shot!!!

I can answer your question in two words: Hell no.

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (13 September 2006):

stina agony auntHi Anonymous,

It's one thing if you want to get a tattoo, but it's another if it's a lover's name. Even if you wanted to do it I would advise against it. It's just a bad idea and for obvious reasons.

Did you know many times tattoo artists will not even write out names of significant others on their clients. The reason I know this is because when I was getting tattooed someone popped into the studio and asked that question (I could hear from my artist's room). They basically made fun of the guy and told him to get out. heh

There's no reason for you to be branded with his name. Especially if you are uncomfortable with that. Tell him no and let him know that's the end of the discussion. You will not be sorry.

Take care.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2006):

Wendyg agony auntWhy does he feel the need for you to have his name tattooed on you ? Sounds like the words of a very insecure person. Is he trying to say he owns you ? No way should you do it, and you shouldnt be feeling that you are risking your relationship by not doing it, he should have enough respect to accept you dont want to mark your body. You cant profess your love for someone by an ink stain, find other ways and if hes not happy with that, then hes not the one for you, tell him how it is, your not cattle and dont want to be treated as such, it doesnt mean you love him any less it just means you respect your body and dont want anyones name scrawled all over it. Im sure if he really loved you he would understand, nobody should be pressured into anything love is nothing to do with pressure or being branded, love is free and caring, and so should he be.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (13 September 2006):

Yos agony auntNo way no way no way. That's like a farmer branding one of his cows. It's disrespectful in the extreme, treating you like property. He may as well put a leash on you and lead you around like his dog! Under no circumstances should you let him pressure you into doing this.

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2006):

camille agony auntTell him absolutely not. You insist that a definite way of expressing love is NOT by pressurising someone to getting a tattoo. No way should you resort to permanently marking your body. There are risks involved let alone you don't want to! He sounds possessive and I think that's why he wants his name on your body. The fact he wants it on your breasts or bottom is a sure sign that he wants to mark his territory. Well, I've got news for him, it's not his, it's yours and you don't have to do anything you don't want to. He should trust and love you enough to respect your decision. If you think you'll lose him over this, he's not worth having. Good luck in standing your ground.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006):

Wow! Thats crazy!!

I would not recommend that at all D.

Wow.

Cant he just be happy that every morning you wake up you decide to spend another day loving him?

I think most guys are content with that without asking our female counterparts to be 'branded' as owned!

I really dont recommend that. He talks about love? He can express it by appreciating that you don't feel right about that.

If you lose him because you wouldn't tatoo yourself for life with his name, well, to be honest hun, it doesn't sound like much of a loss to me.

Good luck with it babe.

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