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female
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*IMPLELIFE
writes: help, new husbands grown children and family do not like me. kids are 30, 28.29. and 35 years old husband was single for over 10 years. i'm 50 and he is 62 weare happy. one of his sons is going to be a new dadand we went to the baby shower and his xwife was there It was nice and took us 3 hours to drive there. On the way home I told my husband lets stop and see your brother and he said he found out that his brother's wife and kids were going to have another shower at there house and we wern't invited, however my husbands xwife was and she hasn't been around that part of the family in over 16 years. hurt and upset what now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SIMPLELIFE +, writes (19 September 2006):
SIMPLELIFE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you for your answers but the fact is that the XWIFE hasn't been around family for over 17YEARS! My husband thinks we only received an invite to the one shower because it was down in LA and they figured we would just send gifts and not show up. We do love each other but I feel bad that his children don't want to be around. I think they need to GROW UP!
A
male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but I don't see how you came up with the conclusion that your husband's children don't like you when it is his brother's wife and kids who are having the second shower. If your husband's kids didn't like you, then you wouldn't have been invited to any of them.
Perhaps your husband's brother, wife, and kids are still close to your husband's ex-wife, and they feel that it would be uncomfortable for you all to be there, or maybe they want to spend some time alone with the ex. Could just be me, but I wouldn't take it as a personal affront, and I certainly wouldn't blame the kids for it.
Regardless, you have the husband, and I assume you're happy together. The kids are grown and have their own lives. I wouldn't worry about them as long as they are polite to you.
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 My dad's brothers and sister all keep in contact with my mum and they divorced about 23 years ago. They visit each other, go out for dinner and confide in her. My dad accepts this but obviously it's weird because they are his family. He doesn't know that my mum finds it weird too.
What I'm trying to say is, just because there's 2 baby showers for the same birth and you're not invited to one of those, don't worry. His ex wife may not be in the family, but it's their business if they want another celebration without the 2 exes being there. It's not necessarily a reflection on you. You should just be happy thet you are both happy together and let his family get on with their own life. They're grown ups so don't worry. If they were young it may be difficult, but this is all new for all of you. In time it should be fine.
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