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My 32 year old married boss has started giving me lifts home. I KNOW he wants to take it further!

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *irl17 writes:

hi, im 17 years old have a boyfriend and have a part time job as a waitress. my boss is 32 and married with kids. recently when he is giving me lifts home we have started going for a drive and ended up kissing many times and i know he wants to take it further, last night he rang me and said he'd ring me today but so far has not. whilst i would like to have the affair, im not sure if i should. Is he stringing me along

View related questions: affair, kissing, my boss

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A male reader, AndreC. Canada +, writes (19 August 2007):

AndreC. agony auntOMG girls these days is there ever anything they dont ask this one is common sense no u shouldnt have an affair with ur boss! You have a bf and you should let him know that you have kissed your boss dont be surprised if he leaves you in a flash i know if that were me I would!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007):

You are stupid a man who want a child it not a real man. Think of yourself aswell as others. His wife would be devastated. There seems to be a lack of morals in your generation. Married men like him use young girls for sex only. That must make them feel so special. Get a good life education, work and a man who really loves you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007):

hi

i know exactly how you feel, i'm 16 andmy boss was 34, we got on really well, lifts home and all that. we started something up, then people atwork gotsuspicious and told his wife. she gave him the ultimatum of her and the kids or an affair with a 16 year old school girl. i thought that he's choose me, he said i was special and amazing. But i was niave, he choose his family -- like any normal man would.

you need to think aboutthis seriously, you are 17 andhe is 32 thats a 15 year age gap. how would you cope with your parents? would you feel comfortable taking him out with yourfriends? what about prom? how would he feel when your 18 going out to clubs, would he go? It's not going to work. Maybe if you were older, he wasn't married, then you might have a shot but its notfair on you, him, his wife or kids. they would just resent you fortaking their dad away, and that's if he actually chose you.

You are on a dangerous path, is it worth it in the long term, could you see it going further.

i lost my job and had to start over, i had to lie on my application because you can't say i left my job because i was sleeping with the boss!

don't go there - its not right - its unethical - but it is your choice.

Good luck.

xxx

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A male reader, agony_uncle_r United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2007):

seriously i cant believe your even thinking about this.. the line 'i would like this affair' says more about you and what your like as a person than anything you'll ever do in life i think *shakes head*

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 May 2007):

kenny agony auntDon't throw away the relationship with you boyfriend over a silly feeling of lust with a married guy. He will never leave his wife for you, so consequently you become his bit on the side seeing you when its convienient for him. He is willing to cheat on his wife, his kids, so what does this say about the guy.

Stick with your boyfriend, because i can only forsee heartache with this other guy.

Good luck x

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A male reader, Andrew83 United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

Andrew83 agony auntThis is how people get there heart broken by the one they love because they cant stay true to there partner.

Why are you letting this happen when you know your going to hurt your boyfriend?

Dont you love your boyfriend?

Do you trust your boyfriend and does he trust you?

Stop getting lifts off your boss, he's married with kids and alot older than you.

Your boss is cheating on his wife and your cheating on your boyfriend.

Heart's will be broken on both sides if this continues.

So its time to make your mind up, which one do you want to be with your boss who is married with kids or your boyfriend?

You decide

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (29 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntYou should let your boyfriend go, first. He doesn't deserve to be disrespected in this manner. He's abusing his power, not to mention being unprofessional, and destroying his own marraige. You both are being very selfish. I'm sorry for your boyfriend.

DV1

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntI suggest that you dont have the affair. How would you feel if a parent or even your boyfriend betrayed you like that. Also i suggest that you no longer accept his lifts home

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

DrPsych agony auntMy advice to you is to leave your job as you are in a no-win situation. This is a married man who is older and in a position of power over you. Don't get carried away with thoughts of love and romance - you won't be the first waitress he has hit on...once a cheat, always a cheat. He won't leave his wife for you and you will just be a cheap bit on the side. Don't you think you deserve more? If you have an affair, it will end and then working together will be awkward but if you resist, he will resent it and make life difficult at work. I am sure there are more waitress jobs out there with less problems! You have to see this is not a good guy - he is cheating on his wife, he doesn't mind exploiting his position of power as a boss for sexual ends and he is basically a sleaze-bag...move on and find someone more deserving of your affection.

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A female reader, sarah-xo United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

You shouldnt do anything with this man. Put yourself in his wifes position, how would you like it if you knew your husband was having an affair with someone half his age.

Dont do it, it will just cause trouble. Stop getting lifts with him, find another way home. Tell him his out of order

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A female reader, Pretty and proud United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2007):

Pretty and proud agony auntNever leave the one you love for the one you like cause the one you like will leave you for the one they love. xXx

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