A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi I need help regarding my relationship. Just be fair and honest.. I had been in a relationship with a girl for over 3 years which ended recently but I still think of her. she was my first girlfriend n spending long time really made me fancy n love her deeply but there were problems 1. she use to get really angry if I Talk with a girl. she had an ex who flirted with her friends after befriending them on Facebook.2.She used to go angry like completely livid about girls or something she didn't like. she be mean to me like nothing I have ever seen.... but later apologised for it when she was calm. 3. Because she used to be so obsessive about me and shout at girls if they looked at me, so I started lying when she used to ask if I talked to any girl or not. In beginning , I told her truth but that ended in fights n shouting from her side.My mobile, Facebook n every account was checked in case I was cheating. I loved her deeply so I carried on 4. later she found about I lied about TALKING to girls n broke up with me, and in all honesty, I never flirted with a girl or ever cheated on her back. however, she accepted cheating for her was TALKING to a girl.5. Although she hated that I talk to girls at all, she carried on talking to guys as FRIENDS yet I couldn't have female friends. Even, she used to talk to her exes and guys who told her they love her or still love her etc. If I asked the reason, she had nothing else to do and she was bored. 6. She called me liar n cheater, and left me.Am I guilty one here ?little about me. I am polite, friendly and calm. do extra ordinary to please people n for her, I went miles. I never shouted at her or lost my temper all that long. I even asked millions of people to make my girl less jealous, better etc just so we can make things right! we are still in touch and yet I haven't been able to forget her or feel different even though I know she isn't right for me... she is hinting me to get back as couples.. I have these questions in my head.. why and how can I get over it? Am I the guilty one as she says? How can I cope with it. should I stop talking to her at all? I will feel sorry if she is treated wrong.or she marries a wrong guy.or someone who hurts her, am I too nice n worrying excessively??why I feel guilt?? please help me..
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, flirt, her ex, jealous, liar, talking to girls Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): The reason you can't forget about her is because its too soon yet, and keeping in contact with her will not help the moving on process.
No you have nothing to feel guilty about, she was excessively jealous, aggressive and controlling, generally unpleasant to be with and unfair in the relationship.
The word selfish also springs to mind. If she had a bad experience in her past that has lead her to not trust guys, then she really shouldn't have gotten into another relationship until she had sorted her issues out. Not get with someone and make his life a living hell.
To be honest, what she does in her future with whoever, shouldn't concern you. You should concentrate on your own future and forget about her. I think it would be rather impossible for a guy to mistreat her, he wouldn't get the chance. By the sound of it she is too quick to lay down the rules expected by the guy to follow. If anything it will be her treating guys wrong in the future as she did you, but just be thankful it won't be you again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTalking refers to girls at my university.
I wasn't allowed to take numbers or even talk to them even if we had a group discussion. As a student, it was inevitable to talk to fellow colleagues. And we talked about studies, books and general stuff. Nothing apart!
Thank you all for your time, patience to read and for your answers.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Talking to another girl is not that bad when you have been cheated on for real and dated porn users. If it's just talking as friends by text there is no problem, phonecalls are too far. She had it good in my opinion if the only thing you did was talk to other girls by text.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 The reason why she has one rule for you and one rule for herself is that she is an attention whore. She wants your complete attention and other guys' attention on the side. In case your relationship does not work out she is lining up seconds or thirds on the list.
You are feeling guilt because she is a drama queen and your instinct to that is to rescue her and make things right. She keep being the way she is to keep you on edge and fearful.
You should stop talking to her. If she marries a wrong guy that's her problem. She is not going to get a decent guy when she treats nice men like dirt. It is ridiculous to marry her to so that other men won't inflict the pain on her, the similar pain she is inflicting on you.
Right now you are only thinking for her. You have to think more for yourself before she does any long lasting damage to your self esteem.
...............................
|
