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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been dating this guy for two years. (Lets call him, Kyle.) And everything was perfect. He would send me flowers just because... not many guys do that! He also is very big on his religion and respects me. Kyle is sweet and amazing. All my friends approve, but i've recently gotten kind of bored with him. Everything is just the same. I appreciate that he is so great, but sometimes i just want more. Kyle does nothing more than kiss me. I've tried to see if would do more but he'd just back off. Anyway, Kyle and I got into an argument at a party and I ended up spending the rest of the night with my best friend and her boyfriend. I had quite a few drinks at the party so Lilly took my keys and made Roger drive me home because she wasn't done partying. On the way to my apartment I ended up crying and venting out to Roger. He was very polite and listened, and I don't know how but we ended up making out. I'm taking too long so i'll just get to the point. By the end of the night I had slept him. I have absolutely no idea how to explain this to Lilly. I don't know what I should tell Kyle. I haven't even looked at Roger since that night. What do I say? Will this completely ruin my friendship? I know Kyle and I are over, but I really don't want to lose Lilly.
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (27 June 2011):
 I agree with Flynn, I'm so shocked at how people are telling you to lie about this. I also don't get how it can be an "accident." It takes two to tango.
If you have any respect for your friend, you will tell her the truth. She needs to know that her boyfriend is a cheater. She also needs to know that you made a mistake. If you show her how sorry you are, you might actually have a chance of saving your friendship. If you don't, well, she's gonna find out sooner or later.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): OP, you need to let Kyle go. He needs a girl who will respect him and his religious beliefs and a girl who understands the value of a true gentleman. You need to tell Lilly what u did.and face the consequences of your betrayal or you are no better than .....You need to stay the hell away from Roger.Oh and be selective who you have sex with next time. I know your hormones are raging, you want it but for goodness sake keep your legs closed to your girlfriends boyfriends!!!!If not, u will get the trashiest reputation and that will not be good for your soul. Trust me on this.Also, cut the booze. You cannot use it as an excuse again.LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): It frightens me how many people advocate lying to cover up infidelity.You made a mistake. Now have the good grace to act like an adult and deal with the consequences.Talk to your friend, come clean. Leave the decision about whether or not to continue the friendship up to her. It's her decision now anyway.Just make sure you stress how ashamed of your actions you are and that you will begin working on the problems in your life that lead to it.Clearly you were ready for sex, but your boyfriend isn't. So you found someone who was. He listened, and you reciprocated, spurred on by the alcohol limiting your inhibitions and reasoning.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, slowpezz  +, writes (26 June 2011):
You would be very selfish if you didn't tell your friend, however if you did tell her she would probably want to strangle you and feel completely betrayed on both ends of the spectrum. Seeing as you are her best friend, who screwed with her boyfriend. What you did wasn't an accident and quite frankly was controllable if not, than preventable. No.excuse should be made. What it comes down to is whether you want to be a better person or not. If you do, than sacrifice your friendship and be honest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): You had a few drinks, had a one night stand, it's over, big deal. Don't tell your friend. No good will come of it. You're alleviating your guilt at the expense of her heart. Move on, keep your mouth shut, and hope Roger does the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): It is a fact. Your relationship with Lilly with deteriorate if you tell her this. It's happened to me before.
Either become a great liar to keep her friendship or "do the right thing" tell her and watch your friendship disintegrate.
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female
reader, Basschick +, writes (26 June 2011):
 Don't tell a soul. It was a stupid, drunken mistake that will cost you all the relationships you are fighting to keep. Just make sure you never get that drunk or become that stupid to your best friend again. And you'd better pray Roger never opens his big mouth either. Lily will never forgive you. Trust me on this one.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (26 June 2011):
Don't say a word. And never admit it even you have to give a performance worthy of winning an Oscar. You wouldn't have done the nasty if you were sober, and hadn't needed reassurance that you ARE attractive because your boyfriend of two years won't respond to your perfectly normal advances. (Is Kyle secretly gay? Some Christian homosexuals can't admit this to themselves.) It takes two to tango, vertically or horizontally, so Roger's as guilty as you are. IF they break up later, if for instance Lilly finds him cheating with someone else, for example, he might throw this piece of history in her face to spite her, but brazen that out too- call him a liar. One regrettable and regretted mistake is not a reason to ruin a friendship. Now don't do it again.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 You need to tell her.Your friendship is going to be destroyed yes, she can't trust you. But at least you had the decency to be HONEST. With this there is at least a chance at rebuilding it, if you keep it a secret from her for five years and she finds out, she'll hate you forever.And you at least need to tell her her boyfriend cheated on her. Don't you think she deserves better than to be with a cheating boyfriend?
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