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I've known him for years My female friend likes him too. He asked me out. How do we tell my female friend without her getting mad at both of us?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2012)
A age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My friend and I both like the same guy.

he has known me since the 2nd grade but he has only known her for a couple months. He and I have been talking for a long time and he has liked me for years now and i really like him too.

he asked me out and now we dont know how to tell my friend without her getting really mad, also me and her have been in another situation like this and it turned out really bad so im kinda scared for this time.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntIt will probably destroy the friendship, at least for awhile. If you've been friends a really long time, she'll get over it and eventually you'll probably be friends again someday. Just don't expect miracles, but the sooner you tell her the better. Otherwise it'll feel weird that you hid it from her.

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A female reader, agonyauntsanonymous United States +, writes (25 July 2012):

I was in a similar situation and my friend was really upset. It was a downer because she couldnt be happy for me. Just went on for weeks about how shes never good enough to be a gf. I felt horrible. But you just have to do it and if you are good friends shell get passed it. In all fairness you have known eachother longer and your the one he fell for. Sure if i were your friend id be a little disappointed but happy for you both. I hope it goes well. Just sit her down and gently explain it.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (25 July 2012):

Abella agony auntAnd why shouldn't he ask you out? He has known you for ages. You are the one he has chosen. Just enjoy him.

Your friend is not going out with him and he has not asked her out and she has not asked him out.

You have a perfect right to enjoy his attention.

And if he is really attractive then I have no doubt that there may be other girls who would loved to be asked out by him.

But he asked you. Do not feel apologetic nor guilty nor sorry about this. And you should accept his well meant invitation to go out with him.

I hope you enjoy each other's company very much.

If your friend is a true friend she will be happy for you, even if she may have a tinge of regret. But that is her problem and not your problem and not the guy's problem either. Since he is under no obligation to ask out every girl who likes him.

He has a perfect right to only ask out the girl he really likes the most.

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