A
female
age
41-50,
*livia11
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year, he always accused me of cheating.I don't know why he would even have the idea, I have a full time job and I would spend my days off with him at his place, he has the key to my place and he would just pop by without any notice.I told him to let me know before coming because it scares me when he just pop in out of the blue, and he asked me why, does anyone else have the key.... I went over to a friend one night and It was late so I slept over, I didn't tell him because knowing him he would just get upset, so when he called that night I was already in bed, and didn't mention I was staying over at a friends.Next morning he called and I was still sleeping, and he asked me to check a drawer in the kitchen because he left something there... I freaked out and drove home straight away, by the time I got there, he was there... Really mad, I explained and he wouldn't believe me, and he said even if it's true, I already cross the line, and there is no way that I could spent the night withing having sex with someone else.Basically to him I've cheated, no matter what I say... I stay quiet, knowing this is over between us, he started to get really angry, he check my phone, and my email... He saw a few male friends number and got even more angry.. And said he should have know that I'm just like all the other girls, always would cheat on him... He started yelling and calling me names... And asked me to give him the gifts that he gave me before... And took money from my wallet saying because I wasted his money when he took me out for dinner etc... He got a glass and had something to drink, and when he finished he threw it right in front of me on the ground, and he look like he was going to hurt me, he asked me if I care about him at all, and why am I doing this to him... And he threw another cup right at my face, then he went search everywhere, turn all my drawers out, bathroom cupboards, turn my mattress upside down, and then got really angry when he found a pair of boots, and said to me he never seen me in those boots, I must have wore it to go out with my other boyfriends.He pushed me on the ground and spit on me... And said now he know why I don't enjoy sex with him (which is totally not true), because I always have sex with other guys when he's not around....I'm so scared of him, I left my place not long after he left, and now staying at a friend.. I'm too scared to go back there... I heard he went into work looking for me, he called my friends asking my whereabouts, I told my boss that I'm not well, and I resigned, now I don't know what to do....Logic tells me I need to leave him for good, but after hiding for a few days I really miss him, when we first met, he really made me feel special, always telling me I'm beatiful etc..
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jealous, money, my boss, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Olivia11 +, writes (3 May 2012):
Olivia11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I told him, all he wanted to say is I'm a slut,I cheated on him, I must be with someone else now that's why I moved, I moved in with some other guy....and that I never love him, just everything that can upset me
A
female
reader, Olivia11 +, writes (3 May 2012):
Olivia11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMost of my friends told him off, I'm not worried about they believing him, I feel awful this is affecting so many people.No I haven't seen him or talk to him since that day. I've moved out of that place. He been to my work everyday, acting concern and sad, trying to get information from them etc
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A
female
reader, Olivia11 +, writes (2 May 2012):
Olivia11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's calling my friends, trying to make them against me by saying I've been bad mouthing them, I actually hate them etc..... He's causing so much trouble... I'm so lost
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A
female
reader, Olivia11 +, writes (30 April 2012):
Olivia11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice, I really appreciate it. I'll post again when I get everything sorted.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): "Logic tells me I need to leave him for good, but after hiding for a few days I really miss him, when we first met, he really made me feel special, always telling me I'm beatiful etc.."I'm sorry, but if you're really so desperate for any kind of male affection and attention that you are literally willing to risk your emotional well-being and physical safety in exchange for empty flattery and false compliments from a guy you describe as your "violent jealous abusive boyfiend," then you need immediate and intensive counselling to address what I suspect are deep-seated long-term issues dating from childhood; otherwise you'll never break the cycle of abuse, and if you don't go back to this loser then you'll end up with someone just as violent, jealous and abusive, if not more.Please please get the help you need NOW!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (29 April 2012):
Would you really like to spend the rest of your life feeling like this?
if you go back to him this man will beat you into submission and you will be a shadow of your formerself with no friends, allies and possibly end up dead if he has a temper like this.
You need to leave this man for good, all abusive men will say lovely beautiful things o their ladies and then beat them when they get angry, they will then tell you how sorry they are and how it will never happen again, possibly tell you that you drove them to it and if you behave it will never happen again but this is simply a controlling man who gets a kick out of being abusive and will never change.
get out of it now before you end up in hospital or in a morgue.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 You need to leave him, his temper is out of control and he is paranoid. You will never be happy with him, nor he with you because he does not trust you. You need to get out now while you can. It is understandable that you miss him, but he treated you like a piece of dirt and next time could be much worse. I suggest that you take your friend back to your house and get the locks changed so that he cannot use the key any more. Then contact him and tell him it is over for good and to leave you alone or else you will go to the police. He is not a good person and things will only get worse if you give him another chance he will have gotten away with what he did. Yes you are thinking back to the start of the relationship when things where good but he was not being himself back then.
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