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... Send *r.Ed a private message | | | *r.Ed's profile:What qualifies me to help people is definately a great question to answer. I have been around the world, had several relationships, been married once, divorced, suffered from addictions, actively involved in church, experienced loss of loved one's, have children, in a current engagement and have a passion of love for people and their well-being. I know what hurt is and I know what love is. I have a strong opinion and am not biased towards sexual, racial, nor ethnic backgrounds. I am not suprised at any question and have alot of EMPATHY towards most people. Sympathy comes from thinking you understand; empathy comes from definately understanding.
I grew up and currently live in Kansas City, Missouri. I'm about as mid-west as they come without the accent. I developed a good self esteem over many years of hard work and know that I'm a good person.
What makes me tick is that I thrive on helping anyone who ask's for help and giving the shirt off my back to the friends I've made throughout the years. I'm very cool and layedback while still being a musician, songwriter, artist and a DADDY.
I am currently engaged to a wonderful woman who adores me as I adore her. We actively communicate each and everday to see if there is something that we are missing, wishing or needing to develop in our efforts to better our relationship. Any relationship is worth the hard effort and work you must put into it to get happiness out of it. I am working everyday to fullfill her dreams, goals, ambitions, fantasies and spirit toward love; all the while she works on mine. |
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Can I help my 12-year-old sister with her love life?
Q. I have a problem with my little sister. She is 12 and is in sixth grade. She has this boyfriend who she has been going out with for 3 months now. The thing is they didn't even know each other when they met (guess their friends hooked them up). The...
A. 22 January 2006: Well, since I try to help or give advice, of some sort, to everyone here goes. (Incidentally, I asked my nephew, geez the things I do for nice people :-)) My source (nephew, age 11) says that he likes: girls, bicycles, soccer, baseball, video games, ... (read in full...)
We got close when she broke up with her boyfriend, but slept with him for "closure". Do I have a chance?
Q. I have very strong feelings for one of my friends and we have recently got very close, and she told me that she had feelings for me. The only problem is that she recently split up with her boyfriend because it wasn't working, although she sai...
A. 19 January 2006: I whole heartedly agree with Bev and Milana about stringing you along. I personally have slept with my X (Closure my rear end)for the selfish, personal gain of thinking that I could make her fall in love with me; like before. I've done it a few ... (read in full...)
The man my parents chose to be my husband won't show any respect to them!
Q. Dear Cupid I had an arranged marriage. I got married about 4 years ago. We have been living together for 2.5 years since he was in school when we got married. My problem is hurting me. My husband does not like my parents. My parents gave us...
A. 19 January 2006: I'm not fully in tune with your customs, (sorry about that) but I can tell you what I would do. First of all if he doesn't appreciate what YOUR parents have given him then that includes YOU. I would go to your father and mother and explain that ... (read in full...)
Any way I can make my nips more prominent? Makes me look tough, y'know
Q. Hello, have a stupid question, I've go the average toned body, and I'd like to know if there is any way that i could make my nipples, "yes my nipples" sick out a little more, as when I wear a tighter top my pecks look great, but when my nipples ...
A. 19 January 2006: I don't know if this helps much, but you could always move to SIBERIA ha ha. Actually, try more reps with less weight. Good luck.
Ed... (read in full...)
Any good book recommendations to make me a better person?
Q. Hi Everyone. I'm not one to read books, and reviews, infact the last book that I read from start to finish was +- 4years ago, as I do have a pretty busy life style. I want to improve my reading skills and general knowledge about many thi...
A. 19 January 2006: A few books come to mind, I hope they help.
1. The road less traveled (Honestly, I think GOD wrote it)for spiritual growth
2. The DA VINCI CODE by Dan Brown for intriguing mystery
3. A MAP OF THE WORLD by jane Hamiltion for a diversificat... (read in full...)
How can I win back the trust of my partner?
Q. How can i gain back trust in a relationship where i dearly want to stay in but i've lied and lied and said there's nothing else to know, when more has come out. Now there is nothing else absolutely, how can i win back and gain the trust and ...
A. 19 January 2006: Understandably; you'd be hurt if all he did was lie to you, right? So, I used to drink alot and I lied about it and I lied and then she looked me in the eye and I lied again. So, I lost her trust completely and begged for one last chance. She ... (read in full...)
My friend and I got on so well but now she doesn't want to know me...
Q. hi im agirl my friend is a girl we got on realy well and we were close when we drank together she would always say i love you to bits dont ever hurt me then kisses me and hugs me alot and starts crying.we went out new year everything was fine the ...
A. 19 January 2006: To many factors go into someone ditching someone else. So, I guess the best thing I can say is to just be you and the kind person you are. Obviously you care about her and don't want her to hurt, however she's hurting you. People need explainations ... (read in full...)
I don't know what she's up to and she puts all the blame on me but I still want her
Q. Me and this girl met just a few days before i had to leave the country. We spent my final 24 hours together but no intimacy involved. That was actually the first time we got to spend time alone. I called her the next day from my home country and she ...
A. 19 January 2006: I have to agree with anonymous below. Don't even think about giving this girl your heart. Dude, you deserve way (alot) better than someone telling you that their fooling around is none of your business. Hell yes it's your business if your going to ... (read in full...)
My husband does not show that he cares and I'm lonely...
Q. I am 26 years old. I have been married for 6 years with 2 beautiful daughters aged 5 and 2. My husband does not show any signs of affection, he is not communicating with me even though I attempt to talk to him. I have been interested in having ...
A. 19 January 2006: I don't know the whole situation, however I do have empathy for your situation as I've been there and done that. Telling you to cheat would be the WORST idea I could come up with. If there are serious financial considerations then I can tell you it ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has an erection??
Q. heya i am 16 and i want to know how i know if my 16 year old boyfriend has an erection around me. if we hug or kiss or something how do i know if he has an erection without asking him cos i dont really wanna ask him ha ha. is there any signs li...
A. 19 January 2006: All of the answers below are true. In addition, if your "making out" he will press his pelvis against yours to put pressure on it. Definately have a "I love you" look in his eyes. Do be careful though, you DO NOT want to rub or encourage this as his ... (read in full...)
He says I'm tiring him out with all the sex... Guys, what do you think?
Q. i hope someone can give me so good honest advice on this, esp men! im 25, engaged and my partner is 28. ive slept with about 35 men and hes slept with aboue 20 women. i decided not to tell him my real amount as i thought there are some things a pa...
A. 19 January 2006: Wow, what a question! Let's see where to begin. On one hand I agree with you about not telling him your number; but on the other you did actually lie. The number that my fiacee' told me in the beggining was not the real number and she hit strike one ... (read in full...)
When he was drunk, he said he didn't love me...should I move on?
Q. have been with my boyfriend for just over a year, i think ilove him. he has never been married, no kids, and in his 40s, he says lots of nice things to me, but twice when drunk he has said he does not love me, as love is special, should I move on...
A. 19 January 2006: Sorry, you had to hear those words; while there might be some truth in what he said, there is also a mixture of alot of things a drunk person says. Like for instance; combining two thoughts into one and spitting out the sum. Do however, hold him ... (read in full...)
He left because of my nagging... So should I nag him about whether he was seeing women while we were together?
Q. My husband has walked out on me reason does not love me anymore and sick of my nagging. The last few months he had been totally withdrawen from me could not stand coming home from work or facing me. He had been working shift work for years. Since ...
A. 19 January 2006: If he's really gone then I don't think he'll give you the closure you are seeking. In addition, if you do keep asking or bugging, to him it will just appear that he was right all along. I say take what you got and move on; any person who doesn't ... (read in full...)
Why do I have to explain my financial expenditures to my fiance, but he doesn't have to return the favour?
Q. Hello... I've been with my fiancee for over a year now, We have a wonderful relationship, but money is a huge topic for us, and we always end up fighting about it. I have Cerebral Palsy and am on Supplemental Security Income. This pays half t...
A. 19 January 2006: You definately need ACCESS to your contributions for emergency purposes and everything else. Just because you have CP doesn't give him the right to be controlling in finances or anything else. I guess if he doesn't understand that then, you can ... (read in full...)
I need to cheat on my boyfriend. It gives me a thrill!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We started going out with each other when I was 13 and he was 16. We are very happy together. We moved in with each other when I was 16. In the first year of our relationship I cheated on him, because ...
A. 19 January 2006: You have several answers to choose from, and yet you knew what we would say. You even told yourself this is wrong! Well I'm not going to say what the others have told you because they have great advice to. I am going to say that when I caught my x, ... (read in full...)
My exotic dancer, drug taking girlfriend just keeps on lying... Does she care?
Q. Ok so im kinda lost in my relationship. We have been together for 3 years and i have tried to give her what she wants but it seems like we are not in a relationship anymore. She is always depressed and is only happy when she is under the influenc...
A. 19 January 2006: I think you really seem to have a great head on your shoulders; honestly she does not. If your simple little wishes cannot be followed, then the situation will only compound itself in the future. If she has an addiction problem and she has lied ... (read in full...)
When my girlfriend wants to be alone, she doesn't want to be near ANYONE, not even me!
Q. My girlfriend is my everything but sometimes she acts very unnaturally. Sometimes she is very loving and all over me but when she is in some kind of weird mood, she will want to sit across the room from me. I always think that I've done somethin...
A. 19 January 2006: Barry, happens all the time and nobody really can explain it; other than nature. Mine get's that way too and you know come to think of it, me too. I have a comfort zone built around me and I sometimes just don't want anyone in my zone; especially if ... (read in full...)
Does my gym instructor have the hots? Or just doing his job... ?
Q. Hi, i have recently started going to the gym and i have sorta got this impresssion that my gym intructor likes me but i am unsure because i know as a part of their job role they have to be nice and encoraging but he has said things to me that seem ...
A. 19 January 2006: Could be interested, however; some guys that are in the gym get really hyped up on boosting someones ego. Whenever I'm in there the female instructors boost mine as well as the male's. But never have they used an analogy of pretend were on a date! ... (read in full...)
Worried that my messy habits will have gotten my girlfriend pregnant!
Q. Hey, this is going to sound really dumb and you'll probably thinking that I'm worrying about nothing (I hope) but the other day me and my girlfriend were messing around on my couch. I went to adjust myself and got some precum on my finger, I wiped ...
A. 19 January 2006: The odds are not very good since sperm doesn't live long once exposed to air, in addition; that sperm has a very long way to travel before getting to the egg. Not to mention the chances of your girlfriend ovulating at the same time are only 1 in 28 ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he has gotten engaged to me for the wrong reasons...
Q. hi i know a lot of people out there are going to be saying how stupid i am, but i really hope someone, anyone, can give me some advice please!! ive been going out with my partner now for 4 months, and we got engaged over christmas (i can already h...
A. 17 January 2006: I'm going to answer this question later today as I'm pondereing this information while I sleep. This hit's way to close to home for me.
Sincerely
Ed ... (read in full...)
When we were together, we chose to abort our baby, but now his one-night stand is pregnant, and they're keeping the baby! I feel so hurt and alone...
Q. I am 27 years old and newly single. A week ago I found out my ex is having a baby with a supposed 'one night stand'. She is keeping the baby, with no respect to him. A year ago I was pregnant with his baby and aborted cause neither of us were ready. ...
A. 17 January 2006: I agree with purrfectionist about this. The guy has to own up about his responsibility. I'm sorry that it happened to you. I'm sure your smart enough to understand what the consiquences would have been. In addition, you stated that you were ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex-wife lie about seeing another guy?
Q. My wife and I got legally seperated almost three months ago she has a daughter that I have known since she was 10 months old and is now 5 yrs old. I found out the other day from her daughter that my ex-wife is hanging out with another guy. when I ...
A. 17 January 2006: Maybe the cold hard truth is that she still loves you and doesn't want you to be dissapointed in her. Alot of my x's lie about their current boyfriends for fear I will dissapprove of the relationship. I do, but I don't tell them that. I want their ... (read in full...)
Guys: How long do you last during sex?
Q. Question for the guys: How long do *you* usually last, during intercourse? Reply honestly, anon if you like!...
A. 17 January 2006: Dare I answer this question; OK. I definately agree with the majority of the answers of it goes as long as it goes. I personally average I'd say, 30 minutes or more. However, this is a definate state of mind and requires concentration to the ... (read in full...)
I told my old flame that I am still interested in him, and he responded with a metaphor! What does it mean?
Q. i wrote a while back and this is an update, but with a further question. i have been back in touch with an old flame for 10 months. he has another girlfrind of one year but is not in love with her and sees no fruture with her. i still like hi...
A. 17 January 2006: This metaphor is definately about life and it's ever continous cycle. He is saying through the ups and down's you two have had that your friendship has and will remain solid. However this metaphor does not tell you anything about your future with ... (read in full...)
Is he interested in me? Otherwise, why would he been looking all the time?
Q. I'm 14 years old going on 15 and there's this boy I've took a fancy to lately. Me and my mate went into the town centre a few weeks back and he kept looking at me and I was like, 'OK, why is he looking at me?' Then he suddenly came up to the benc...
A. 17 January 2006: I think you should go up to him and say "Hi" "whats your name" and see if he'll reply. That's probably the best place to start any relationship. Knowing his name that HE gave you; not your mate.
Happy introduction,
Ed ... (read in full...)
I raised my voice, and my girlfriend left me because she was afraid I'd abuse her! I've never hurt a woman. What can I do?
Q. I had a misunderstanding with my girlfriend of 1 yr. She said that i was loud and she left. now she says that she's afaird that i'll abuse her. i've never hit a woman and don't have a hot temper. i never called her names or cussed her just raised ...
A. 17 January 2006: In addition to anonymous's answer (which I agree with), you could start by showing her acts of great kindness. Some examples come to mind like, Churches, zoo's, museums, FLOWERS, letters, Dinner and when your around her try having another friend ... (read in full...)
I got a sick feeling, checked his ATM statement and email, and found he was pricing escorts. Is he lying when he said nothing happened?
Q. Hi, I'm 28 and have been living with my boyfriend for 2 years. We love each other a lot and have our ups and downs but work hard to iron things out. During the holidays, I went to visit my family, got a sick feeling in my stomach, checked his emai...
A. 17 January 2006: The real question is wether or not you believe him in his answer. You said he volunteered the information; sounds like he willingly admitted it. Had he have lied about it or denied it; wouldn't that make him untrustworthy. Then I think you couldn't ... (read in full...)
Worried I might have erectile dysfunction. So how would I bring it up to my mom?
Q. I think I've got ED. I'm 18 and moving out of the house soon. I think I should go see a doctor about this, but I can't be like "Hey Mom, I think I've got ED... Can I go see the Doc?" What the hell am I supposed to do? ...
A. 17 January 2006: ED is very common in men ages 18-70 so don't be so dramatic about this. Yes, you can go to your mom and tell her you have ED. She may wonder how you know, but she will understand. Mothers are funny creatures, they tend to love us no matter what we ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel I'm just his booty-call. What if I ask him where we stand?
Q. I was in a relationship with a guy for about 18 months. In all that time we just kept splitting up and getting back together because he never knew what he really wanted. We have always stayed in touch with each other, and have known each other 3 ...
A. 17 January 2006: I think everyone has a right to know where they stand; especially if they have been in a relationship for a long period of time. Don't expect too much if he does commit for he won't know how nor what to do. I definately think your on the right track ... (read in full...)
Happy with my wife, but I can't stop fantasising about a threesome with her and her sister!
Q. I'm a 30-year-old married man. I am happy with my wife but the only problem is her twin sister! I am attracted towards her too. I try to avoid them and get successful also but whenever I see her again I am back to square one. To be true, I don’t ...
A. 17 January 2006: I suggest you seek professional counseling immediately. Many men have fantasies, but they can usually correct theirs. Your fantasy will haunt you for the rest of your life and probably end your marraige. I think if you told your wife she would be ... (read in full...)
Stay with my boyfriend? Or follow my heart with the new guy?
Q. I have a big problem. I have a boyfriend and I've liked him since high school, but I've met someone within the last year or so that I've grown to love and he really loves me. I just recently got into a relationship with my current boyfriend. I don't ...
A. 17 January 2006: I tell this to most people; if your having feelings for another person in a relationship; you are not being fair to the current person nor yourself. If these feelings come and go then it's usually just a fantasy, but you have stated, that you have ... (read in full...)
I'm older than my girlfriend, but she has slept with more people than I have. Should I feel bothered by her lustful past?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm a twenty-something guy, and have been dating my 21 year old girlfriend for 2 years. I love her to bits, and I know she loves me just as much, and is completely trustworthy. My problem is that we are probably a little too hones...
A. 17 January 2006: Your bothered by her past because we all want the one we fall in love with to be that pedistal girl we create. It doesn't bother you that OTHER women do those things; just THIS woman. THIS woman has come into your life and stolen a chunk of your ... (read in full...)
I think I'm a lesbian, and it's causing me to feel anxious and depressed. I like this girl on my sports team, but I won't see her for a few months. What should I do?
Q. I'm a 17 year old female. I have really bad anxiety and depression. I think it might be caused by a huge secret I have: I think I like girls. Right now, there is one in particular that I just can't stop thinking about. She is on one of my ...
A. 17 January 2006: Discovering your sexuality is very difficult at your age. Lot's of people experiment with it, just to see if they really are a lesbian/gay. Several letters have been written about this issue. Some even question the validity of their experiment. I ... (read in full...)
I am having sex with the new CEO of my company...and loving it! But I'm married, and I think my husband has caught on...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 45 y/o white married female. Six months ago my company hired a new CFO who is African American. After one month of working with him we have some type of sex almost every day. I love it from him and can not get enough of IT from ...
A. 17 January 2006: Well, I think it's rather repulsive that you are asking what to do when you clearly "LOVE IT". I think it's time that YOU file for a divorce and clearly tell YOUR husband the truth that YOU needed to have another man violate; what he held so sacred. ... (read in full...)
I am having sex with the new CEO of my company...and loving it! But I'm married, and I think my husband has caught on...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 45 y/o white married female. Six months ago my company hired a new CFO who is African American. After one month of working with him we have some type of sex almost every day. I love it from him and can not get enough of IT from ...
A. 17 January 2006: Well, I think it's rather repulsive that you are asking what to do when you clearly "LOVE IT". I think it's time that YOU file for a divorce and clearly tell YOUR husband the truth that YOU needed to have another man violate; what he held so sacred. ... (read in full...)
My friend kissed my boyfriend and slapped him on the face! What should I do?
Q. what would you do if one of your friends kissed your boyfriend and slaped him on the face? can you help?...
A. 17 January 2006: Personally, if my friend kissed my fiancee and then slapped her on the face, I'd kick his ass for doing it. I would sit YOUR friend down and tell her; that her actions were inappropriate and that if her lips ever find their way to YOUR boyfriend ... (read in full...)
We're in college and going to different schools. My girlfriend thinks that it would be easier if we weren't together. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now... we both are in college at differnet schools and now she is saying she doesnt kno about us. and she is sayin it would be alot easier on us if we werent together....what should i do?...is ...
A. 17 January 2006: This question has been asked about 100 times on here and frankly it's not easy to answer. I could explain that long distance relationships are very complicated and sticky: I won't. I could tell you that your worried about nothing: I won't. I will ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is very self-conscious and tries to hide her emotions. How do I get her to relax and open up to me?
Q. I've been seeing a girl for 6 months now. she is very self concious about her weight. she also doesn't show affection and always tries to hide her emotions. By her own admission: She can't pay compliments to me or say nice things but can about other ...
A. 17 January 2006: This may sound obsurd; but just be yourself. She definately needs to learn that you are sincere about your thoughts and your compliments. The best way I tell my fiancee about what I think is to remember to tell her how I feel once a day. On day's I ... (read in full...)
My baby's father would rather break up, because he can't deal with things I did before we met!
Q. I'm 18 and I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months. I love him with all my heart and we are going to have a baby in 3 months. The thing is that he always thinks that I'm being untrue to him and we can't even have sex without him stop...
A. 17 January 2006: I think if you really need ideas to show him you love him then show him this web site and your letter. Show him your willing to go above and beyond what is required of you; from a relationship. Tell him in addition to this; obviously your pregnant. ... (read in full...)
How can I resist the temptation of an affair?
Q. Hi, I could really do with some advice. I'm in a happy long term relationship , My partner is older than me and has a strong personality . We have the odd disagreements about things but nothing out of the ordinary. Our sex life could be better b...
A. 17 January 2006: Try talking to your current partner about what it is that is lacking in your sexual agenda. Tell her honestly what your want; what you desire, and see if maybe she could find a way to accomodate you. If (and I suspect she does) trully love you; your ... (read in full...)
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