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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex recently made contact with me again after about 18 months since we split. He has said he is sorry, that he wished things were different and that he does love me. I still love him. I am however with someone else and whilst I cannot deny that I am clearly still captivated by my ex, I could never trust him again. Not with other women and not with my own feelings, which are still pretty fragile as a reuslt of his behaviour. Nonetheless, since we work together, he has been keeping in contact by visits to my office and texts and phone calls. He now tells me that he has met someone he really likes. In fact he has told me on at least three separate occasions. Some of my friends doubt that this women even exists. I think she does and he has been spotted out with a mystery brunette, however whatever the postion in relation to her, I feel heartbroken all over again. I seem to find it impossible to let him go and I am utterly jealous to the point of imagining how perfect their lives together must be and how well he must be treating her. I know that this is just life and that it is tough, but I really do not know how to move on without being bitter and angry, which I probably was for 18 months, and which did not work. I want to be happy for him and to be able to cope with tales of his new life but instead I feel like I am gutting myself with a knife. Why do I care so much for someone who was so bad for me and why can't I find a wat to let him go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): I really like the word you chose, captivated. It certainly explains things on so many levels. At first I read it as if he were quite enchanting and engaging. Then I read it as being a captive. Although there were probably many exciting things about being with this gent, there are many more valid reasons why you're not together. Don't settle for less than the whole package.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): This sounds like it's getting to be a game of jealousy and it seems like it's not fair to either one of you. He's playing with your emotions and you should probably try to keep your distance from him. If he cared about you, he would not suddenly have a new girlfriend and he wouldn't brag about it. And if you're shaking your head while reading this, then I'm probably wrong and you two should have a talk and get back together. It would take a lot of work and forgiveness, but you could give it a try. There is something that broke you up, and that's probably a good reason to stay apart. Love the one you're with and don't think about the past.
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