A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story short - a girl I've been seeing for around 5 months (we'll call her X) told me she didn't want anything to do with me anymore about a month ago. I have confidence issues after my ex girlfriend (of nearly 4 years) hurt me pretty badly, but I just can't bring myself to tell X about it. She's a confident person and i dont know why but I'm just afraid she'll go off me if she knew i was scared of getting hurt. We went through a phase of arranging to see each other numerous times but every time at the last minute I'd bottle it, resulting in Lacey getting really angry at me each time.She ended things with me because I wasn't making them go anywhere, and I know it was all down to me to sort it out but I just couldn't do it, and I felt so hurt that she ended things with me that I tried to get back at her by getting with someone else on a night out- this didn't go down well with X and she tried to cut me out of her life by deleting me on facebook and everything. I realised how much of a fool i'd been so i slowly tried to fix things with her and become close to her again, which, over the space of a month, happened. She then tried to pursue things with me again but I told her I didn't want to get back into anything at the moment because I thought i'd just let her down again (due to my confidence etc, but I couldn't tell her that). However she knew I still liked her and we still hung out, and she kept asking me where it was all going and it was just overwhelming me so much that in the end I told her that i didn't think it was ever going to work. I don't know why it's just I haven't been able to sort myself out for her yet, and I'm so worried about messing up again...WHen I told her this, that's when she flipped and told me she didn't want anything to do with me anymore because i'd messed her about, which i completely understand..We didn't speak for a few weeks, she ignored me when we saw each other at a club :( which really hurt me. Then a couple of weeks later, we saw each other at the same club again, where I got into an argument with her friend.. her friend was having a go at me about messing her around. X came over though and said happy birthday to me, really cheerfully and seemed really happy to see me. I was so happy to see her and to have her speak to me.The next day out of the blue she texted me apologising for her friends behaviour, but she still didnt add me back on facebook or anything so I assumed she still doesnt want anything to do with me and so I didn't reply.It's been over a week since that now and I'm starting to wish I replied....... she didn't text again so now i'm just thinking she doesn't care and was just apologising to be civilI don't know what to do :( I know this is all my fault and i've Messed it........ just does anyone know what she's thinking? after all i've done to hurt her is there any chance she still likes me? I really really like her, I just don't know what to do :(
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (15 August 2011):
 This girl clearly does like you otherwise she wouldnt have put up with you being on and off and still come back and talk to you agian.
That doesnt mean that she isnt mad at you or annoyed with the way you have been, but she definatly likes you.
If you want to clear things up and maybe have a chance of being with her you need to be very honest, you need to tell her about your ex and why you are scared and explain why you acted the way you did, and not over a facebook message you need to tell her in person.
If you dont feel like you can do this then maybe it is best to forget about her, as she dont deserve to be messed about anymore.
Hope this helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): To be honest i think you should just leave it, it's obvious from reading this that you don't have the courage to make a proper go of it as you're even scared of sending a reply to a facebook message. Just try to move on and don't let nervousness get in the way of your next relationship
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