A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last week my wife injured her pinky toe after we (her being barefoot and me with shoes on) clipped each other's feet as we walked past each other. It was a freak accident. She was in a lot of pain and there was a bit of blood. At first she was adamant it was broken and we went to hospital, but after a near 5 hour wait in A and E we were no closer to being seen and eventually just gave up and came home.For days and days I waited hand on foot for her because she was unable to walk, we also learned that there wasn't actually anything a Doctor could do about a broken pinky and that it just heals on its' own. All we could do was secure it to the toe next to it.Even though it was an accident she made a point of making me feel guilty about it by saying how much it had disrupted her life and how she could barely walk anywhere. She did say at first that it wasn't my fault but I overheard her talking to her friend on the phone calling me clumsy and incompetent over the incident and that I had ruined her plans for the next few weeks. Then last night our cousins came over for dinner, it just so happens that one of them is a GP. We mentioned her toe and he had a look and found that it wasn't even broken, just badly bruised. He didn't understand why she was still in so much pain and could barely walk after 6 days when the bone itself was fine.Low and behold this morning she appears to be absolutely fine. The pain has completely gone over night and she's back to normal and can walk properly, this despite hobbling about up until late last night. I'm beginning to think she's just exaggerated the whole thing from the start.All last week she was adamant she had a broken toe and could barely walk, yet one quick check over by a GP who tells her she was wrong and then all of a sudden she's miraculously better. Even though I know in myself it was just an accident, the way she's gone on has made me feel more guilty about it than I think I should have felt. I just don't get why she'd do this other than to make me feel bad.Thoughts?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 December 2019):
 Yeah, she milked your guilt and enjoyed the fuss you made over her. Many people would.
However even a bruised pinky toe can hurt like a bugger and for days. And yes we need a functioning pinky toe to walk.
So while she might have milked it a bit, she probably also was in pain.
Stuff happens and she is now all recovered.
Maybe it's a sign for you to fuss over her every now and then, just because?
I don't think it was to make YOU feel bad, but she took FULL advantage of your guilt an willingness to wait on her hand and foot. Don't tell me you would do the same? Just a little? We ALL enjoy being fussed over.
Right? .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2019): Typo correction:
"Meanwhile, it was clumsy of you; but you shouldn't have let her milk it like she did."
Waiting on her hand and foot over a pinky toe? She faked it, and got busted!!! She was being a giant-baby about it!
She's got something on her mind, did something you'll be angry about, or she's up to something! You'll figure it out soon enough!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2019): She wanted some extra attention, and she got it. I take it from your description of this incident that she has a tiny bit of a mean-streak. It's a manipulation tactic meant to punish you for something else she never forgave you for. It's a woman-thing!
Often when petty mean-spirited people blow small incidents out of proportion; they really have a bigger ax to grind. It could mean she has something on her chest she won't openly address; or she's still grudging over a past disagreement. She doesn't want to appear petty; so she'll kill you with a thousand tiny daggers. She'll harp on little things, pick senseless arguments, and recall everything you've ever done wrong in the past. Yet won't say exactly what it is still caught in her gizzard! It will eventually come-out!
It's a form of passive-aggressive behavior, meant to trigger guilt. Mostly to make you feel like you've done something horrible; and there is nothing you can do to ever fix it. I'm sure she has done something like this before. She broadcasts it to everyone in order to bring down shame on you; while she plays the victim.
She gets you to overcompensate by being an extra good-boy, you cater to her like a princess, and she pacifies her grudge all at the same-time. She has always been doing this! You're a little slow, and you're just catching-on!
Is she given to holding grudges? Drags-out disagreements by pouting for hours or days? Maybe she is just pulling your leg, because you tend to overreact yourself? Giving you a dose of your own medicine!
Here's a theory! Your wife felt like blowing something you did out of proportion; maybe because there is something she has done (or is doing) that she knows you'll probably lose-it once you get wind of it.
It's her tit for a tat you've long forgotten! She's a woman, and that's her prerogative!
Most common reasons: Missed birthday or anniversary. Lousy Valentine's Day. She went through your phone and found something. You yell at her a lot, but it's okay when you do it. You just get under her skin sometimes! When she tries to talk about things, you're defensive, evasive, or dismissive. Until she has another outlet, you'll suffer!
I do believe the injury was truly painful; and she may have had some hypochondria about it, until she was certain it wasn't broken. With no medical-examination or a diagnosis; she would have to be particularly careful, until a doctor had a look at it. Meanwhile, it was clumsy of you; but you shouldn't have let her milk it did. She's fine now, so let it pass.
As I said earlier, she has a mean-streak. She gets a kick out of laying guilt-trips on you. Partly for the fun of it, and mainly for getting even. Some people can't let things go!
Ask if there is something that's been bugging her, and if she'd like to talk about it?
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (2 December 2019):
Thoughts? You married a drama queen who has no problem exaggerating to make you feel bad about a minor accident. And also has no problem bad mouthing you to her friends.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (2 December 2019):
 I have broken my toe and ouch it does hurt. Our toes and fingers are rather delicate and sensitive so its possible that it truly did hurt her but almost a week later??? Sounds like she might have been going a little over the top. Maybe she just wanted some love and attention and thought if she acted hurt you'd give some extra TLC? Who knows honestly. I hope she doesn't act this way all the time though because if she does I'd venture a guess she's a bit of a drama queen. Sorry don't mean to offend..just calling it how I see it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2019): If it bled then it sounds like it was pretty sore. and think about getting a stubbed toe. It kills. Maybe she did exaggerate but the question is why? Were you not sufficently apologetic? Did you not give enough sympathy? Maybe it was in her head because she thought it was broken (I'd add that you can't tell if a toe is broken just by looking at it or even feeling it so frankly your GP friend is a bit remiss acting as though she has xray vision.) But also if this is the biggest issue in your marraige then maybe just get over it. Neither of you will still be thinking about this in a weeks time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2019): Some wives are like that. You should see mine. I am always guilty of some wrong doing. I can never do anything right in her book. So just grin and bear it like I do. Mine thinks marrying me was her biggest mistake yet she gets furious if she catches me looking to other women.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 December 2019):
 Maybe. Maybe she is exaggerating to make you feel bad, and maybe it was a case of her believing the toe was breaking and so therefor she convinced herself it hurt.
Such things are possible. Only she knows the true answer.
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