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Is it a good idea to send a ''thanks (not) for the memories," to my ex, or should I just leave it alone?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *abyparis writes:

I want to let my ex know that Im finally happy thanks to him.

We were together for 4 years but messing around for 5 1/2. He cheated the whole time but I loved him so much I stayed. I finally came to my senses and left even after I left I still went back every now and then.

Now Im with my boyfriend who I love!!!

I never been so happy with my relationship, my partner, myself. I love everything about my boyfriend.

My ex knows that I'm over him and seeing someone else he sends me dumb pictures of his money, his son he fathered at the same time while we were together, new stuff he just got. I guess it's suppose to make me jealous...

I want to write a thank you letter to my ex basically saying thanks for all the crap you put me through cause now I found LOVE: true love, real love...

Is it a good idea or should I just leave it alone and focus on my relationship?

View related questions: jealous, money, my ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIgnore him... he will go away eventually if you do not respond to him.

if you must block him to make this happen do so...

no need to stir stuff up by sending him anything.

what's done is done.

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A male reader, GoodDog United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2012):

GoodDog agony auntI have to agree with the others on this and say not to bother about getting back at him.

Someone once told me: "Don't get bitter, get better!"

If you write to him he will see it as a sign that you are still emotional and haven't really moved on. He might act on this by continuing with the messages etc and making your life a misery.

You can show him that you've moved on and don't care anymore by ignoring him completely and focusing on your new boyfriend.

The silence will speak volumes to him!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 February 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIt won't make you feel better. Block his number, delete anything you have with him (facebook, email whatever) and focus on your new man.

I agree with the anon who said, you don't sounds happy.

Don't stoop to HIS level. Take the highroad.

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A female reader, babyparis United States +, writes (6 February 2012):

babyparis is verified as being by the original poster of the question

babyparis agony auntthanks you guys

to cindycare its funny you said that everyone always ask me how hes doing and I always say I dnt know. I havent talk to him since november. My mom asked me do I care how he's doing I said no I dnt care if he dead or alive I would go to his funeral and spit on his casket I know it sounds rude but its true..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012):

You sound far from being happy. I dont think this is fair on any new boy in your life.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (6 February 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Bad idea and waste of time. Why do you need to get some sort of reaction out of your ex ? Maybe you aren't as totally over him as you think, if you 'd get pleasure from pissing him off. If you were totally irrevocably over him,you would not even care if he is dead, alive or something in between.

If you don't want him to bother you , simply block him and make yourself unaccessible to him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012):

leave it alone. he's in the past exactly where he belongs and has to stay. you don't want that toxic poison infesting your life again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012):

I would leave your ex alone and concentrate on your new partner. Put your time and effort into things that will benefit you, dont waste energy on your ex. He sounds more interested in getting girls pregnant and money...which he will see precious little of if he keeps fathering children!

I wouldnt send him any thanks for the grief he put you through. If he is as silly as he sounds, he might actually think you were grateful that he treated you badly! Just ignore his attempts to make you run back to him...again! Concentrate on whats really important, you and your new man.

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