A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend confuses me again and again...I am 20 and he is 36. We've been dating more than half a year. When it comes to sex, we use the pull-out method. From the first, he stated that he wanted no kids. I shrugged it off since I'm young and though I love children, I want to live a little first, finish school etc. We had a very minor pregnancy scare recently, he didn't seem as scared as me...and today, he joked about my period, saying that he could permanently stop that. Twice, he's said that having a beautiful baby girl or a little boy that looked up to him could change him entirely. Another time, after we were intimate, he bluntly said, "I want to get you pregnant." I laughed and after a little bit, he did too. After his comment today, I wonder...is he thinking about impregnating me? :p What do you guys think?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 March 2012):
 The pull out method is not birth control. It is pregnancy procrastination. As in, it may take longer than no birth control, but you will eventually get pregnant. You have ZERO control over whether or not you get pregnant, only he does. All he has to do is decide he wants to get you pregnant and "accidentally" not pull out in time. Or be more subtle and masturbate just before sex and secretly put you in danger.
You should get yourself something tamper proof, like an IUD, an implant, or the depo shot.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 What I think is if your using the pull out method both of you are trying to have children. You don't want to finish school and have some life, you are trying to become a mother, without any thinking or planning. The pull out method is not a proper form of contraception, it's a silly way to get yourself pregnant. Go and see a doctor for proper contraception, or get your guy to wear condoms if you don't want to get pregnant.
This guy keeps changing his mind about children, he may not be a stable father at this point and might leave you alone to deal with everything. I would hate you to find yourself pregnant in this current situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Just thought I would let you know that the pull out method isn't a method as the guy still produces semen during the act, not just at the end. It's a wonder that you haven't gotten pregnant already!
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A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (3 March 2012):
 From the man’s point of view, and I might just be betraying a sacred shush code or something, many of us want to try it at least once just to make sure we can get away with it and to find out if we are as fertile as we think we are. Sure, it may seem immature and crude, but many of us men have the animal lust to impregnate as many women as possible as soon as possible.
“Spread the seed, kill the weed!” is a saying my father had — and he, my two brothers, and his brother all have at least 5 kids EACH — OUTSIDE any marriages they may have had. The “seed” is obvious, the “weed” is any other man’s seed besides your own.
I have the primal urge that my father and my brothers have. However, I am a more responsible individual, having married the first woman I slept with and – even after 12 years of marriage – still have yet to produce a child. Of course, she knows of my urges and my fantasy of getting her pregnant. I have tried countless times. However, we are probably never going to have kids, as she is on osteoporosis medication which will cause any conceived child to be both deformed and retarded.
Part of me wishes I could find a woman who is willing to take the risk, just for the fun of it. Many men just want to knock up any and every woman who appeals to them if they can get inside. It only takes one sperm and it’s all over. It’s a disorder, natural though it may be.
Making you a “baby mama” is the goal of any man who lusts after you, regardless of what he says to the contrary.
For that reason alone, women should always take control of the condoms and any other birth control. Speaking from experience with my wife when she first got on the pill, many men will sabatoge the condom by poking holes, snipping the tip, or microwaving it to make sure those baby makers get inside you.
And for all the men who agree totally with what i am saying, sorry if I spoiled your chances at fatherhood!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 September 2010):
 "Twice, he's said that having a beautiful baby girl or a little boy that looked up to him could change him entirely."
WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP RED FLAG ALERT
This is a sign that he is going to get you pregnant, and use that baby to keep you tied down while he goes running around. What exactly does he feel needs changing about him, huh?
Go on the pill and don't fall for the baby trap.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 And what do YOU think ? What do YOU want ?
Do you want to be impregnated, or not ?
If you don't, go on the pill immediately, because the pull out method is just an accidental pregnancy waiting to happen.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (8 September 2010):
 The 'pull out method' is not a method. It's an invitation to parenthood.
Please start the pill and make it about your choice, not what he's trying to do.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 September 2010):
 take the pill and dont rely on him
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I agree with YouWish. If you are not ready to have kids, go on the pill or use some other method than what you are currently using. Also, talk to him about it. Have a serious sit down conversation with him and compare thoughts on the subject. If you think you might want kids, but not yet, ask if he's ok with waiting a few years and talking about it again. Honestly, I didn't think I ever wanted kids. And now, all I think about is having a little one with my fiance. He may be going through the same thing. He found the person that made him want kids. Be happy that he feels that way about you, but don't have them yet if you're not prepared.
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Many a true word said in jest.........
If you dont want kids, then I'd think about getting myself to the clinic, and getting some protection, Why aren't you on any anyway, you do know the withdrawal method is not failproof, infact I dont know what the statistics are, but its definately a crap way to prevent pregnancy, and relying on him after the recent comments would have my knees glued together until I'm protected with something that i'm in control with.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 September 2010):
 That's a big YES.
I'd very highly recommend taking charge of your own birth control and NOT relying on him to pull out a bit too late.
I'd also have a talk about this with him, and NOT during or after you're being intimate.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 He probably wouldn't mind impregnating you but would he hang in there for the long run and anyway you're a bit young. Do some other stuff first.
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