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Is he no longer interested?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been married to my high school sweetheart for a little over a year and somehow over the past 6 months have fallen completely in love with my boss who is 12 yrs older. My boss and i are friends and have worked together for almost 3 yrs.

Over the past year he and i have gotten closer as he had recently become divorced and was having a hard time emotionally and with his custody battle. Also, he's been talking me through my marriage problems, you see, just two months after i was married my relationship with my husband began to fall apart. he lost several jobs and money was very tight, to make ends meet he and i had to have roommates move into our home. he was very unhappy and started drinking alot and and ignoring me, he would hang out with his friends and leave me alone. when i tried to talk about the situation he would become angry and now he's pushing me away emotionally. when we have a fight he always ends it with telling me to move out that he can't take it anymore. and i end up begging him to not give up.

anyway, recently, my boss and i both admitted to a physical attraction to each other, we never acted on the attraction. but just yesterday i was jealous when i saw him talking to a co-worker who obviously has a crush on him. when he demanded to know why i was angry, i admitted that i loved him. he wanted to know why i hadnt told him before. how do you answer that??? i told him that if he was going to give me the just friends talk that now was the time to do it, but he said that he would never do that. we havnt discussed it since. and he never told me he felt the same way. and now, i don't know what to do. i have to face him tomorrow at work.

is he no longer interested or what?? please help!!!

View related questions: at work, co-worker, crush, divorce, jealous, money, my boss, roommate

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi. Your boss can foresee how complicated this will get at work for him. Already you get angry when he talks to people he manages. You are about to be unfaithful. You will probably risk his job and yours.

Meanwhile, at home the problem is drifting. Money is tight. Relationship getting worse.

So - what do you want to do? Decide now, because you are at the junction where there's no going back.

1)Go ahead with the affair.

2)Tell your boss you've come to senses. Forget what you said.

3) Tell your husband marriage is over.

4)Try and patch up marriage.

Now the question you asked was: Is boss no longer interested?

I'll pass on that. But I will say is that if you choose No. 1 it leads on to No.3

And if you choose No. 2 it leads on to No.4

Good luck

Richard

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007):

It's kind of tough to say. Usually if a guy is interested he would have reciprocated his feelings for you right then. The fact that he didn't is not a good sign, in my opinion.

I also think you may have moved too fast. That's kind of a scary thing to hear especially if you are not there yet. I mean if some guy said he loved me and I had no feelings for him I would be a little weirded out. Furthermore, you should only ever tell a guy you love him if he is trying hard to be with you. But what has this guy ever done for you?? Does he call you and take you out to dinner and all that?? I mean I loved my boyfriend before we ever went out but I never told him until I knew he deserved to hear it.

But for now just go with the flow and hopefully he will talk to you when you go to work and say something about it. If he doesn't bring it up, then just leave that alone. And you should also consider what to do about your marriage because it does not look good on a woman loving other people when she's newly married. And it is not fair to your husband. So you should take care of that.

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