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Is he interested or not? He's confusing me.

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting, Social Media, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So, I work with a foreign guy (a backpacker) and we've worked together for about 3 months.

Probably in the past month or so I've taken more of an interest in him and actually find him very attractive and I feel like he flirts with me while we work together.

He does things such as poke me and blows raspberries when I walk past and taps my shoulder and pretends he didn't. He often teases me and makes little jokes. I don't know if he's just being silly or if he's flirting. I feel like I always catch him staring at me and often find him looking at me if I glance sideways.

We've hung out a couple of times and gone for coffee together and I've tried to see him outside of work more but he's bad at texting and busy with work often as he has two jobs, but when we are together he suggests going for coffee again before we even say goodbye.

The way he talks about it is like he goes out of his way to spend time with me because he says he gets someone else to cover his shifts.

He has never mentioned any girls or girlfriends or anything in front of me which led me to think he might be gay, but yesterday was Valentine's day so I asked him if he had a valentine out of curiosity and he said "she's far away in another country, so it doesn't count".

Basically, I am really confused about whether he's interested in me or not because of his behaviour and actions towards me while we're at work together since they seem to suggest he's interested and he likes to hang out besides work - last time we sat so close together on a couch we were touching the whole time and he didn't seem to mind that we were so cozy, and because I am a touchy-feely person he didn't mind I basically had a hand on his leg the whole time and let me touch his hair and face.

I don't really know how to approach the situation, I want to know if he's interested in me and how I can let him know I'm interested too, but then I feel like if he's got someone else then he shouldn't be so flirtatious. It looks like we will be hanging out this weekend so I'd like to address it then if possible.

Any advice is appreciated, thank you!

View related questions: at work, flirt, I work with, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2017):

It is possible that he likes you but has a girlfriend in another country and so is kind of feeling guilty about his feelings.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (21 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds to me like this might be his personality. The thing that sticks out for me is that he is a different nationality to you, therefore he may be over friendly to girls compared to the average British guy. Different nationalities sometimes bring out different feelings.

It sounds to me like he has a long distance girlfriend and he sounds like a confident guy who I would imagine would have made his move by now if he had any romantic intentions.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (15 February 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt So what if, having someone at home, he " should not " flirt. People do all the time things they should not do- particularly if they don't have to face immediate punishment for that. People should not smoke cigarettes or eat fatty foods, but they do. They should not exceed speed limits, or arrive late at work, but they do.

He flirts (..sort of.. ) but you know he already has a Valentine, i.e. he is taken, i.e. if he is interested in you , his interest is physical, superficial and transitional.

Btw, I said he is " sort of " flirting because, if he does, he is terrible at it ! Blowing raspberries and poking you ? That would be a full blown love declaration in 5th grade, but as it is , T'd say that he is mostly goofing around to kill time at work. AND, of course, he is checking you out and letting you fondle him- because he must find you attractive, so if " something happens " and " one thing leads to another ", without him having to do any conscious willing effort, yay. In other words, he is flirting sort kind of half assedly , because to make something happen is not his priority- although if you pushed for it to happen, why not.

I suppose it all depends from your expectations, if all you have in mind is a couple of rolls in the hay, I guess he would be game.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (15 February 2017):

Denizen agony auntAs someone said in answer to another question: "He's a man. He will let you know if he's interested."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017):

The guy you are hanging out with has most probably got a longstanding girlfriend in his home country and he isnt exactly flirting with you.

Its quite possible he would be open to a quickie etc but it would probably be only for the duration of his stay.

You could change the course of history if you got him into bed for unprotected sex and got pregnant.

Otherwise it looks like you are gearing up for a "what happens in vegas - stays in vegas!" type of relationship.

Of course you could surprise him by not being easy and willing but it seems you want a bite of his apple.

However this will set you back emotionally when someone new and available appears on the scene because you will still be sorting out residual emotions.

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