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Would I be doing myself a favour to just tell him how I feel?

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

When should you tell someone how you feel? A friend and work colleague kissed me a while ago and told me had feelings for me but it all went wrong as he had an ex in the same work place and didn't want to make things awkward.

I have been trying to act normally and continue our work and social interactions as before but it hurts me when I feel like he doesn't care about me because I like him and he told me he likes me, on more than one occasion.

I'm beginning to not act like myself because of it.

I recently got quite drunk and flirted with someone just to make him jealous which I admitted to and he heard me.

That is NOT like me and I hate feeling like this. Since this incident he has started texting me again and I can't help wondering if he even knows/cares how ambiguous and confusing this is or whether he just thinks he is being friendly.

In the past he had appreciated me being straightforward with him but I am aware that his could make things at work even more awkward and we also have a group holiday booked at Easter which might be super awkward if I have confessed to really liking him and he confesses to not giving two hoots either way. Should I keep it inside and try and get over it or would I be doing myself a favour to just tell him how I feel?

View related questions: at work, drunk, flirt, jealous, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (21 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI honestly think this man is making excuses as to why he doesn't want to date you. If he liked you then he would have done something about it. I think he is just toying with your feelings which is really unfair. He sounds like he really enjoys the fact that you like him and are trying to make him jealous. My best advice would be to end the friendship, stop the texting and just be civil at work.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (15 February 2017):

He had no business telling you he liked you to then tell you he would not date you. This guy is not available. He is in a prison of his own making. He CHOOSES not to be available.

Why are you drawn to someone who chooses to mess you about in this way? You are worth more. Look for someone who chooses to be WITH you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are STILL wasting your time.

The guy told you he doesn't want to date in the workplace - which means.... he doesn't WANT to date you or have anything serious with you. Saying he likes you doesn't mean he wants to BE with you.

Why he then keeps texting you can only be so he gets some attention and ego stroke knowing that you "pine" for him.

UNLESS you HAVE to stay in contact on your private phone due to work, I would block him. And then I would remember that the workplace is NOT a good place to look for a BF/GF. It's the place you GO work. So you can pay your bill, not flirt.

I think you SHOULD keep it inside and accept that this is NOT an available guy. He already WENT through dating ONE co-worker and don't want to try that again.

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