A
male
age
41-50,
*ilent101
writes:Ive been in a LDR for 3 years. We met when she was 17 and spent a year together in the same country. We loved each other to pieces and would do anything to stay together. She has to go to South America for school. 18 months into the relationship, she started complaining about loneliness and her need for me to be there with her. We talk on phone everyday and send emails too. She claims she never cheated on me, until one time she went to a party, got high and made out with a guy she was spending time with. She called me the next morning crying and reporting the situation. I was mad for a while but i eventually forgave her and moved on. A full year later, i went through her emails and found out she actually went all the way and slept with him. She was discussing this with her girlfriend and admitted she would do it again if she saw him. I also gathered from the emails that she did not plan on taking him more seriously than a bed mate. I confronted her about it and she was in denial, but she finally broke down and was pleading that we work it out. She explained she has been terribly lonely and she spoke to her friends about it and thought that doing stuff like this would make her feel better. She said she knew her complains about my absense was making me drink much and decided to stop complaining even though she was unhappy. Now she says she is sorry. I love her to pieces and cannot imagine a real relationship with someone else. I am trying to be as realistic as possible by forgiving her as we are all humans and i've made my own mistakes in the past without her knowledge. But i don't know if it is wise to take her back.
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female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 she is lonely and needs attention and your not their to give her what she needs and thats neither fault that is how it is.. but what if you dont meet each other for a few months or years do you think she can keep to herself?.. all i will say is you can give her chances but how many are you willing to give her ? if she is lonely tell her to get a dog.. she doesnt need to be sleeping around to feel not lonely.. or everyone would be sleeping around !!!! and im in a LDR and i would never ever cheat on my bf..but we have different morals and understandings but i dont see how she cant keep her pants on to me it seems she is trying to feed you excuses for her behaviour when their is none just so you will be their for her.. thats my opinion hope it helps aphexy xx
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