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I'm not sure if first time sex felt right?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I had sex for the first time last night and I have some questions, I apologize if this is a little explicit...

I didn't feel any pain when he entered me, thankfully- my hymen was already broken through fingering and he knew what he was doing so I was very turned on.

But then it started to hurt in a weird way... like whenever he went deep I'd feel a pain in my lower stomach and it was a bit uncomfortable. and then I also felt like I had to go poop or at least fart. Is this normal? What can I do about it (both the pain and the feeling)?

While it was nice... I can't say I really felt any pleasure... This worries me, because I don't think I can have clitoral orgasms. whenever my partner goes down on me I don't really feel anything... it only starts to feel good when he accompanies it with a finger. And I know it's me, cuz the few times I tried masturbating it did absolutely nothing for me. I just don't think my clitoris is as sensitive as the average woman's :(

Because of my experiences during foreplay, I figured I'd be the type to orgasm primarily through penetration... cuz it does feel really good when he fingers me, except sometimes I feel like i need to pee and I have occasionally wet the bed (I squirted... I hope). Anyways, as a result last night was rather underwhelming for me.

Also, we had unprotected sex and I'm not on birth control... He pulled out every time and I know he didn't *** in me, but what are the chances of me getting pregnant from like pre-*** or something? If it makes any difference, I'm expecting my period in about 6 days or less.

(And I know, I know... it won't happen again)

In retrospect, maybe the discomfort coupled with my fear of pregnancy and the fact that he kept pulling out (happened like 4 times... obviously, it was good for him lol) precluded me feeling any pleasure... what do you think?

View related questions: clitoris, fingering, foreplay, hymen, my ex, orgasm, period, squirt, unprotected sex

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A male reader, Silius Sodimus Australia +, writes (23 January 2013):

Even as a guy my first time was crap, mainly because I was so nervous. In fact my gf was questioning if everything was ok, did I have problems down there which made me feel worse. But it did get better with time especially when I relaxed and became less self conscious about my "performance". Unlike those romance novels and anecdotes about first time sex it's usually crap and leaves you wondering if your any good at sex. Eventually you it gets better especially if you love the person your with and take it slowly, itl eventually get better and better each time.

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A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (11 January 2013):

good sex is a skill built together in a relationship. It takes practice. You need to have good communicative skills and be comfortable speaking frankly with one another. It helps immensely if you have some practice and experience in what you physically like on your own.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 January 2013):

Honeypie agony aunt1. NEVER have unprotected sex if you don't want to become pregnant. It's just to big a risk to take. IT only takes one time.

2. I have to say first times for many women is kinda of a let down. You are left with the "Is that it?" feeling, but with the right partner it usually gets better and better. Specially if you figure out what GETS you going and what GETS your partner going.

I can't say about the squirting - to me it sounds too much like a porn made up thing.

I DO think the fear of becoming pregnant can ruin it for the girl - after all the guy wouldn't have to go though all the steps of getting pregnant and then having to me a choice to keep or abort - I think honestly, your boyfriend was rather insensitive considering this was YOUR first time. He should have been prepared to bring condoms. On the other hand YOU need to use your head too, no condom - no sex. It isn't science - it's common sense - virgin or not.. you need to get yourself some.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (11 January 2013):

I'd say 99 times out of 100 first time sex is disappointing for women. Guys on the other hand its the other way around!

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (11 January 2013):

person12345 agony auntThat pain is him going too deep and hitting your cervix. He needs to go less deep. You should try positions where he can't do that, like in missionary put your legs inside his, try spooning too.

If you enjoy being fingered internally because it's hitting your g-spot (that's why you felt like you had to pee) then you should try buying yourself a toy that stimulates both your g-spot and your clitoris. Or just a good vibrator for your clitoris. You almost certainly won't orgasm with him until you can regularly do it on your own, so you should get on that!

Pre-cum can contain sperm if he ejaculated recently. For instance if he masturbated right beforehand to last longer or something. If I'm understanding correctly, he ejaculated multiple times? So he'd ejaculate and then go again? That's basically the same as him finishing inside you, the precum will push all that sperm still in his urethra out and into you. So if that's what happened (or if it's not and he masturbated beforehand) then you should take plan b to be safe. You should never have unprotected sex. Even your first time can get you pregnant.

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