A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and my boyfriend recently turned 21 I'll be turning 16 in june, my brothers 18 and he and the rest of my siblings and cousins are okay with it, weve been dating 7months yesterday and im really happy....but i really want to tell my parents but i jusy dont know how
View related questions:
cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (11 April 2015):
 Allow me to rephrase .. if you two are being intimate, it's illegal. You did not specify.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (11 April 2015):
I don't know the exact laws over there, but English law and American law overlap in many ways, for obvious reasons. Here, your relationship is illegal and could cause your boyfriend some serious trouble. If I were you, I'd give this relationship a second thought - if not for you, than for your boyfriend. And if you tell your parents, they could easily report him to authorities. Think long and hard about this.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 April 2015):
 I think if you at 15 CAN'T tell your parents that you are dating (no matter his age) then you are NOT old enough or mature enough to be dating, let alone someone 6 years older than you.
I have an almost 15 year old daughter and while she is mature with some things, smart, caring, she is NO way mature enough for an adult relationship. Though I DO NOT demand my daughters don't date till age 16-18 - I do hope they understand that there IS NO HURRY with trying to be a grown up and do grown up things. If my oldest were to date anytime soon, and her partner was 21, I would not be happy about it, because 15 and 21 IS actually a HUGE gap, after 25 a 5 year or 10 year or even 20 year gap doesn't seem as huge, but at 15? ITS HUMONGOUS.
If you want to be able to date, then BE responsible for your actions, OWN them - that means TALK to your parents. Talk about getting on birth control (even if you are not yet sexually active). YOU want to do grown up things - such as a relationship? ACT like one.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2015): Sorry but I am 23 and thinking on this no way would I date someone under 18, never mind 15, still in school and still a child in the eyes of law!
Sorry but this is wrong on so many levels. What do you both have in common? What do you speak about?
Is he happy to take you out?
All things of an actual relationship.
I hope that you haven't had sex because you know that he could go to prison for that don't you?
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 April 2015):
 A 21-year-old-man dating a 15 year old CHILD is a peculiar situation... no matter HOW you paint it.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 April 2015):
 I wouldn't let my kids go on single dates at 15 let alone date someone 21! How on earth you have been able to hide this from your parents for this long is amazing. You must be a magnificent liar or they must be totally out of it. Just know that when you do finally tell your parents,they most likely will lose all their faith and trust in you because of all the activities going behind their backs. But since you've been able to sneak around for 7 months I guess I'd try to keep it up as long as I can before the shit hits the fan. I hope your boyfriend doesn't do anything that lands him in jail, that will earn him a label that lasts a lifetime.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 April 2015):
 Just because he's older and she's younger doesn't mean she's only dating him for sex... Could very well be that they are dating with nothing sexual going on.
But yes, poster, if you want sex then you need to wait until you are of age. If you only want to date and be romantic, kissing and holding hands, but no sex, then his age is really not that relevant.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (9 April 2015):
 It is too bad that your relationship with your parents is so bad that you can date someone for 7 months without your parents knowing. You are close to the age of consent in your country, but by that time you will have been dating him for three quarters of a year.
My advice to you is to get closer to your parents. Stopping keeping secrets is one way. This secret might be a bit of a bombshell.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2015):
 Are you allowed to date appropriate boys? IF so then you know very well why you are so scared to tell your parents.
I think that every person who is under 18 should only date with parental approval and knowledge as until you are 18 they are the ones legally responsible for you.
Your brother at 18 and your cousins and friends do not have the necessary maturity to show good judgement here.
You say you are dating. Are you physically intimate? If so he's breaking the law.
And if you are, what else do you and the boyfriend do together? what do you talk about?
why are you afraid to tell your parents? I know if I was 16 and I told my parents back in the 70s that I was dating a 21 yr old they would have BLOWN A FIT and grounded me. and i would have hated them and thought them unfair and all the other things... cause "the heart wants what it wants"
But here I am the mother of adult children now... older than you and I so get it NOW... I understand that my parents LOVED me and it was their job to PROTECT and teach me and that my 16 yr old brain was not mature yet and was full of hormones and years of evolution telling me it was time to find a mate...
I want you to know I feel your pain. I totally get it.
My questions are to make you think.
and be honest with yourself.
but speaking from the downside of the hill.... you need to bite the bullet and tell them and trust their judgement.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015): It might be best to wait until your at the age of 16.
IF you do it now then they might not react well with the age difference and currently they would hold a lot against him if they was not keen on the idea
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 April 2015):
Why do you need to tell your parents? If you are nervous about it I can guess it's because you know how they will react. So why tell them? They wont benefit from it, and neither will you.
But if you feel you must, for the sake of being forthcoming and honest and all, I suggest you INFORM them, rather than engage in a debate with them. The difference is that in a debate they get to have a say in it, whereas if you only inform them, you are basically just giving necessary information without things being up for discussion.
That means, if they start schouting at you you stay quiet. If they try to command you to do something you stay quiet. You simply do not discuss it. Either way, they can't force you to stop seeing him, the only thing they can do is not allow him in your house. But as I understand things, you haven't brought him around the house before so that wouldn't be a problem.
Or, invite him over for lunch and see how things go when he meets your parents.
...............................
|
