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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): hey man if she dumps you its alright there are many girls out there. and i dont think its fair that she is pressuring you into something you arent ready for.
i am in the same situation
and i dumped her because she kept on bugging me about it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): C. Grant is right. Nothing is ever said to try to understand or defend boys who pressure girls for sex. This girl deserves the same nasty treatment those boys get.
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female
reader, PurityChild  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Good Job!!! =)
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female
reader, Battista  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Good for you OP. You have definitely made the right decision. For what it's worth I think you did a very mature and sensible thing.
You don't need anyone pressuring you into losing your virginity. Clearly you have high standards and want to wait until you're ready. She wasn't the right girl for you.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Good lad. That was a smart thing to do.
I hope you find another girl who repects your wishes in the future.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told her I won't do it and I dumped her.
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female
reader, JustKalie1010  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 If you aren't ready then don't have sex with her. Follow your intuition. Its not right, you are wayy to young for this. You should dump her, and she isn't respecting your boundaries
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): You are 13. Don't do it! And if the girl told you that she would dump you, then why should you care. She's using you. Dump HER!!!
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 When girls write in with this question we tell her that she's considering it for all the wrong reasons, and we call the guy who's pressuring her nasty names. I don't see why it should be any different when the shoe is on the other foot.
Lots of guys value their virginity less than girls and so throw it away lightly. And regret it later. That doesn't sound like you.
If it doesn't feel right, wait. You can always change your mind later if you still have it, but not the other way around.
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female
reader, SmilySmily  +, writes (14 November 2010):
You're still very young and you should never do something under the peer pressure whether it's sex or not. You just don't do things that you dont want to do!! I have to agree with Jm tmj...it is kinda saying that she isn't right for you..!!
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female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (14 November 2010):
 don't do it.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 She can't ruin your life. Never give in to peer pressure. While sex can be wonderful, I think you will regret having your first time with her when you aren't doing it voluntarily. You should never have sex because someone pressures you into it, and if she decides to leave you unless you have sex with her then that is HER loss, not yours! I understand that you care a lot about her, but I really must question how much she cares about you if she pressures you into sex or breaks up with you over it. It shows that she is the one crumbling under the pressure of others, and doesn't respect you.
If she can't respect that you don't want to have sex yet, then she is not a good girlfriend for you and you would be better off without her. She is trying to control and manipulate you. Would a person who truly cared about you do that? Don't waste a great experience (sex) on someone who doesn't value it.
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female
reader, unknown1988 +, writes (14 November 2010):
Then let her dump you. I was in a relationship like that, where i was 100% not ready for sex, and didnt get out. The guy forced it on me. It was the worst experience of my life. You need to do what is best for you, and think about the possible outcomes of having sex and how they would effect your life. If she doesnt respect your not ready, then she doesnt respect you.
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female
reader, MelaBoo +, writes (14 November 2010):
 ill agree with him down there.. shes just not worht it cuz ill be be damned if a guy preasures me with havin sex with him or hes gonna dump me noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! hes got the wrong girl for that.. so if ur not ready ur not ready i say F**k her and go on to the next one!
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female
reader, fisch777 +, writes (14 November 2010):
first off, you need to find out why she is so desperate to have sex. Most 13 year old girls aren't the ones that want to. So something doesn't seem right to me about that.
Second, of course I'm going to say that I do not think you should have sex. Not just because your young, but because your not ready. If she is going to break up with you for it then let her. Why would you want to be with someone who is basically black mailing you to have sex? It's not right or healthy.
Stand up for yourself and wait to have sex until YOU are ready. You'll know when that time is. In the meantime, don't give in and when you do have sex make sure your educated. Always use protection, not only to prevent pregnancy but because of STD's.
Good luck
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 If you're not ready, you're not ready. Don't fold to peer pressure or your girlfriend. If she dumps you for not having sex when you're not ready then that's a fantastic indicator that she's not the right girl for you... isn't it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): You're only 13 which means you are too young to have sex and if your girlfriend is the same age she should realise she is too young as well. It sounds like all she's after is sex if she's willing to break up with you like that, there's so much more to a relationship than sex. Don't feel pressured into having sex by your friend, chances are if he's your age I doubt he has done it and is just trying to look big in front of you and your other friends, unless you know for sure he has i.e. you were there when it happened.
At the end of the day the decision is yours to make but I hope you realise that this girl doesn't seem to value your relationship that much. Everything you have done together as a couple so far appears to be meaningless to her.
But if you do decide to do it just make sure you use a condom.
Good luck bro.
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female
reader, PurityChild +, writes (14 November 2010):
Dont do it because someone ask you to do it. You do it when you are ready, and if she is pressuring you to do it then she really does not care about you as much as you thought. Also your relationship will not last very much longer if this continues and you give in she will continue to control your thought process and you will have no say in what you want to do with your own body...Hope this helps =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): dont lose your virginity to a girl who doesnt care enough about how you feel. a girl who forces youu, is most likely going to hve sex with you and possibly dump you. she then can say you werre bad t having sex and so forth. i as a girl dont believe a good girlfriend would pressure you. you want to save your virginity for someone who accepts your decissions. wait until your ready to have sex. 13 is deffinitly alittle to young to lose your virginity who you wont stay with for the rest of your life. wait until the right person comes along. maybe suggest some other ideas, maybe blow job, hand job, or anything of her pleasure that will not force you to lose your virginity. hope this helped(: good lucck.! remeber, dont give in to peer presure, the right girlfriend wont peer preasure you.!
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female
reader, r_a_w_r1645 +, writes (14 November 2010):
 i cant really tell you what to do. but its weird that shes saying if you dont shell dump you. thats pretty low and dumb. 13? if shes that age too, shes pretty young and dumb to be thinking about that right now. all i can say is do what you think is best.
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