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age
41-50,
*
writes: I'd been married for 5 years and I can't stop thinking of other women. Sometimes when I'm making love to my wife start thinking of other women. It's not helping having so many (hot) co-workers flirting with me.Me and my wife went to the mall together and I started checking out women (about 3 or 4 of them I looked at). Then she got all mad at me. When we got home she'd yell at me how disrespectful she thought it was. She made me sleep alone in the guest room that night.She has been cheated on before almost every relationships she was in. How can I make it up to her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I think that you have lots of problems but the most important one seems to be that you cannot figure out if you are married or not, what age your children are, etc. Which one of these many posts is the real deal? Once we know that, we might be able to help you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-my-daughter-hate-my-gf.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-caught-my-wife-cheating-with-my-brother.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-me-and-my-wife-over.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-propose-on-her-birthday-how-to.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-upset-my-pregnant-wife-and-now-shes.html
So in these you're married sometimes, sometimes its just your girlfriend, sometimes you have 2 children, sometimes you wife is pregnant with your first child. Very confusing and possibly you need some professional help? To cope with the rich fantasy life? If you can address this, that would be helpful.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Shy boy your other posting made it very clear that you have some major problems and definitely shouldn't even be married at all...to anyone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): If your radar is still up my guess is you are not that interested in your wife. Why don't you let her be free? Let other men stare at her - I'm sure they do. She could do better I think - but you seem to be throwing it in her face she's been cheated on. If you know it hurts her - then why are you doing it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): God gave us eyes so that we could admire the beauty of the female form, among other things. Any woman that says her man doesn't look at other women isn't observing him closely enough, and any man that says he doesn't look at other women is a liar.
However, you have to be very discreet about it especially as your wife has insecurities about cheating etc. I suggest when in her company you get yourself a pair of Stevie Wonder sunglasses and keep your head pointed in the direction you're going in. If a nice pair of legs attached to an hourglass figure passes you by don't whatever you do turn round to get a second look.
You'll know if and when she's got over her insecurities when she points out other women to you and says "Look at the tits on her!" Thereafter you'll be able to relax a bit and stop fighting your natural tendencies.
Just bear in mind that however innocent we men think this behaviour is, most women find it quite disrespectful and we have to rein it in a bit to keep them happy.
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A
male
reader, kurvy +, writes (12 November 2008):
Haha well it is not uncommon to think about other women, but the fact of the matter you have to stop or at least try. If you want to make it up to her I would say stop looking at other women, especially when you are with her! If you love her enough you would not do this to her. Try avoiding the hot co-workers, or at least don't try to flirt back with the people who are flirting with you.
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