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I caught my wife cheating with my brother!

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Forbidden love, Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2008)
A age 26-29, * writes:

I caught my wife cheating me with my brother. We manage fix marriage but I'm still worried that she'll do it again. We two have kids (ages 1-4) and don't ruin their childhoods by getting a divorce. What I should do?

View related questions: divorce

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A female reader, Ginalolabridga United Kingdom + , writes (7 October 2008):

Ginalolabridga agony auntHi,

Firstly she makes amends to you by constantly re-assuring you this sort of behaviour will never ever happen again and i feel for you because she will have tarnished your relationship also with your brother here!

For the children's sake i would try and make this marriage work put it down to a mistake on her part that will never happen again both of you might want to try some marriage counselling to find out the reasons why she did this and with your brother!!

There is a lot of hard work to be done to get over infidelity and i tell you as someone who has been cheated on it is not easy it will rear it's ugly head here and there if you are still in contact with your brother that will also serve as a reminder so for you it will be very hard for now put all your concentrations into the marriage/your kids etc; try and take what your wife has done to you away from that and do more work on the both of you healing.

You can get over this my story is living proof we can get over infidelity so do the work here go to counselling make time for you both quality time to re-kindle something that maybe was lacking there having two young children can leave us feeling exhausted and sometimes if we do not have proper outlets for ourselves then temptation becomes a route to escapism so spend some time getting to know one another and to find out why this happened if it can be corrected and you both want to stay together then put it to bed now get on with working hard at what you have now i wish you both well.

Ginalolabridga

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A female reader, michelleAKAmandi United States +, writes (6 October 2008):

michelleAKAmandi agony auntIf you can communicate with her about this when it comes to bother you then there is a chance you guys will be ok. It will be tough sometimes and that's to be expected, but she must make an extra effort to help you get through this. After all, she is the reason you are experiencing these unfair feelings.

It doesn't have to end in divorce, but if it does by chance, know that those children will be just fine. If the affair causes a lot of arguing, any yelling or anything negative, then it would be best for the children. Children are a lot stronger than we give them credit. Merely make sure you always let them know that, if you do divorce, it was not their fault in any way. Some kids think that they were bad kids and caused things like this. So fix that in the beginning of the divorce if it happens by telling them that Mom and Dad are not in love anymore, or that you two are better off apart. Something to make sure they know it's not their fault.

I wish you luck and like I said, if you can make it work with her help, by all means do so and try your best to be happy.

Take care and I hope this helps,

Michelle

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A female reader, penguin64 United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2008):

hey my parents split up when i was 7 and my sister was 5 and my brother was 9. and im so glad they did! i had a way better childhood. well, obviously i dont know what it would of been like with thme together. but some of the memories ive got are of me, my brother and sister in a bedroom with our ears to the floor tryin to hear what they are yelling at eachother about this time! they were rubbish together. so it wont necessarily ruin their childhoods. might make it better.x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008):

You still love her, even though she cheated you with your brother. Cheating...isnt easy to forgive, and it takes a while to build up the trust that was lost. Comfront her how bad it hurt (if you havent already) Even if you were to get a divorce, you children need to understand why, may not be now....but when they're old enough to understand.

"Some we do, some we say...most we regret, but we learn to live life as we go on." Im not sure if that made sence to you...

But I might need some help on this one...

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